Headcase
by mortok
Summary: A young man falls down the elevator shaft...and it kinda evolves from there. Rated T for now. This is my first ever fanfic, so please R&R. WARNING: Um, hello? It's TORCHWOOD, in John Barrowman's own words: ANYTHING GOES! NOW COMPLETE!
1. It Had to Happen

10

A/N: This is my first ever fan-fic, so please review. Any tips for improvement will be greatly appreciated. Also, since I don't know a lot about Wales (what, with being Australian, and all), please point out anything I may get wrong (some Welsh words to scatter about in dialogue would be nice too). Please tell me what you think of my OC, Alex (I don't want the only character I own to be hated by everyone). And suggestions for side-stories would be greatly appreciated.

No flames please...I don't know what they _are_ exactly, but they sound terrible.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Torchwood. If I did, it would have a better timeslot. (Midnight on Wednesdays? DAMN CHANNEL TEN!) Except, if I owned Torchwood, it would suck, and then get bumped back to that timeslot anyway...

WARNINGS: Violence, swearing, etc. Male/male flirting (and maybe more wink) so, if you don't like that, why watch Torchwood in the first place?

**HEADCASE**

**ONE: IT HAD TO HAPPEN**

Ianto was in the middle of preparing his trademark coffee when he heard raised voices in a heated argument drifting up from the medical bay. Gwen's Welsh lilt rose above them all. Usually, she interrupted in an attempt to get the others to calm down, but this time, she merely added fuel to the fire.

"I said, I bloody said. Didn't I say 'what if someone falls in?' My _exact_ words. And what did _you_ say?" Her voice held a withering, accusatory tone.

"This is the first time it's ever happened!" Jack retorted.

"Shut the fuck up!" Owen snapped "I'm tryin' to work here!"

Driven by curiosity, Ianto, made his way to the balcony that overlooked the medical table. Peering down, he saw the others clustered around a misshapen lump that rested on it. As he got closer, the lump somehow became a young man, somewhere in the age bracket of sixteen and eighteen, in a baggy, navy-blue jacket. Long, dirty-blond hair framed his face, spilling over his eyes. Artfully faded jeans clung to slim hips. Owen, who had been prodding the unconscious figure, trying to detect broken bones, now removed the jacket in order to check the breathing and heartbeat. Underneath the jacket, the boy was wearing a tie-dyed shirt, hot pink and lime green in colour, stretching across a firm torso, reminding Ianto of a candy wrapper.

"Who's he?" Ianto asked, coming down the stairs to get a closer look. Everyone except Owen, who continued working, turned to him, suddenly realizing he was watching.

"No idea." Jack replied hesitantly. "He, uh, fell down the…elevator shaft." Toshiko giggled; Gwen muttered something that sounded like 'told you so' under her breath. Owen stepped back from the still form.

"Well, he's alive, apparently, and nothing's broken, so let's take him back and dump him on the pavement before he wakes up."

Just as Owen said this, the boy let out a low moan, and a hand moved to rub gingerly at the back of his head, before flinching away with a painful wince. Slowly, the boy pushed himself into a sitting position, legs dangling over the edge of the table, groaning as he did so. Eyes still clenched shut, a not-quite-deep-enough voice issued forth from the boy's mouth.

"Ugh, what hit me?" He asked, though it seemed to be addressed to the universe in general, rather than anyone specific. His accent was not British, Welsh, nor American.

"The floor," Toshiko answered almost automatically "quite hard, too."

"Oh."

The boy's hands rose to clutch at his temples, face screwed up in concentration, as if he could will the pain to go away. After a moment of tense silence, the boy's eyelids flickered open revealing eyes clouded in pain. The black pupils were ringed with a bright, glowing green, like twin fiery emeralds. His gaze swept the room; not resting on any one spot, but focusing intently at each brief stop, as if he were memorizing every detail, etching it permanently into his mind. Jack cleared his throat pointedly, bringing himself to the young man's attention. For a moment, the fire in the eyes flared up, dying away in the same instant. The boy's lips suddenly parted in a wide smile, as if there were no greater joy than the prospect of making a new acquaintance.

"Hi, I'm Alex." He extended a hand of welcome in Jack's direction. Jack made no effort to shake it. After an awkward moment, the boy withdrew it, looking a little crestfallen. His eyes roved around again, lingering on the tangle of steel girders that extended high above them, all the way to the roof. He turned back to Jack, having already marked him as the leader.

"So, where am I?"

"You're in Torchwood." Jack's voice was devoid of emotion, and he had made no attempt to chat the boy up, despite his manifold attractions.

"Torchwood." The boy, Alex, mused "Is that a bookstore?" Alex seemed undaunted by Jack's less than civil behaviour, for all he knew, Jack was always this rude. The group was taken aback by Alex's odd question.

"Why did you say bookstore?" Jack asked, curiosity getting the better of him. Of all the things Torchwood had been mistaken for in the past, bookstore was a first. The boy swung his legs back and forth, and fidgeted nervously.

"Well, back where I come from, there was a small bookstore named 'Gaslight'. I just figured it was like, you know, a trend…or something."

"We're a secret organization." Jack said, now clearly struggling to keep the amusement out of his voice.

"If you're so secret, how come I've never heard of you?" Alex demanded, crossing his arms.

"Huh?" The group muttered as a collective, obviously confounded by the boy's backwards logic.

"Because it's a _secret_?" Owen finally replied, unable to keep a questioning tone out of his voice, as if unsure of the answer himself.

"So? A secret organization's no good unless everyone knows about it. Everyone's heard of the Freemasons and the Illuminati and so on."

"We're one of those organizations that are _actually_ a secret." Gwen explained. Alex nodded thoughtfully, accepting this without argument. Jack, who had been resting his chin on his hand and studying Alex closely, spoke again.

"Where exactly do you come from, Alex?"

"Exactly? No idea." Alex responded cheerfully "But I was born somewhere in Canberra."

"Where's that?" Toshiko asked.

"It's the capital city of Australia." Alex seemed upset by their ignorance.

"I thought it was Sydney." Owen said, looking confused.

"Yes, I hear that a lot," Alex drawled sarcastically "odd really, considering almost everyone in Australia knows all sorts of things about Great Britain, like where London is, who the Queen is, _and_ Princess Di, Harold Saxon, David Beckham, the Spice Girls, _and_ Keira Knightly. Bet you don't even know the name of our prime minister, or that Kylie Minogue was Australian, and so are the 'Rogue Traders'."

"The what?" Ianto asked.

"Some band," Alex shrugged "I hear they're pretty popular here though." His eyes settled on Ianto, as if noticing him for the first time. He leaned forward, scanning Ianto from head to toe. "Oh my," a coy smile played on his lips "and who are you?"

"My name is Ianto Jones."

"Ianto," Alex practically purred, eyes lidded. He rolled the syllables on his tongue, as if savouring them "I-i-i-a-a-a-n-n-t-o-o-o. I like it. What do you do here Ianto?"

"I make coffee."

"Do you always wear suits?" Alex asked, reaching forward to toy with the knot of Ianto's silk tie, loosening it slightly.

"Whenever I'm here, yes." Ianto replied, nervously, a blush rising in his cheeks. Alex leaned even closer, till their mouths almost met. His eyes seemed to once more be alight with a flickering, dancing flame; holding Ianto's gaze, hypnotizing him. A harsh screech rent the air, and Alex looked towards the ceiling, breaking the trance.

"Was that a-?"

"Yup." Jack replied, knowing what Alex was going to ask "Ianto, why don't you get our friend here a glass of water and some 'aspirin'?"

"Yes, please," Alex said, not noticing the emphasis Jack had placed on the last word, and having no inkling of what it might mean. "My head still feels like it was smashed in. How did I get here again?"

"You fell down a hole in the sidewalk." Owen replied as Ianto hurried to fetch the water and 'aspirin'.

"How did I manage that exactly?" Alex queried "I may be clumsy, but I'm not blind…I can tell the difference between ground and thin air, for example."

"The hole is more or less invisible." Toshiko added.

"Invisible." Alex echoed, as if repeating the word would make it more believable.

"Invisible."

"Well that's a bit daft, isn't it?" Alex pointed out "I mean if it's invisible, any idiot can just fall in!"

"Thank you!" Gwen cried, flinging her arms in the air, relieved that someone else saw things from her point of view.

"What do you need an invisible hole for anyway?"

"For our invisible elevator." Jack replied.

"Okay- sorry, what did you say your name was?"

"I'm Jack, this is Gwen, Owen and Toshiko." Jack pointed to each of them in turn, and they waved.

"Okay then, Jack, what do you do that you need an invisible elevator?"

"We hunt alien life forms and salvage their technology." Jack replied, cutting straight to the point. Owen rolled his eyes and wandered over to the alcove where they kept the arcade games, seeing no reason to hang around.

"What like the 'Men in Black'?" Alex snorted.

"Not…exactly…"

"Who do you give this technology to?" Alex asked, not even stopping to debate the existence of aliens "It has to go somewhere."

"We keep most of it locked up, if it's too dangerous. Some of it we give to the government, who uses it to advance mankind's own technological development."

"You 'give' it to them? They can't just take it from you?"

"Nope, we're separate from the government, outside the police, beyond the United Nation…what is so funny?"

As soon as Jack had started, Alex had been biting his lip to keep from laughing, but towards the end, he had failed, and was now doubled over, clutching his stomach, and wiping away tears of mirth.

"Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to upset you, it's just-" Alex dissolved into another fit of giggles before continuing "I bet you say that to everyone who comes through here." Alex fell silent once more. Gwen and Toshiko had stayed quiet, but were struggling to keep it up.

"As I was saying-" Jack continued.

"Probably practices in the mirror." Alex muttered under his breath, just loud enough for the two women to hear. They promptly fell upon each other, laughing. At this point, Ianto returned with two pills and the glass of water. He handed them both to Alex, who took them gratefully.

"I put a sedative in there," Ianto nodded towards the water glass "to help you get some rest."

"That was…thoughtful of you," Alex raised a quizzical eyebrow, but swallowed the pills, along with a mouthful of water. He lifted the glass to his lips and downed the remaining water in one gulp.

"Feel better?" Gwen asked, rubbing Alex's back in a motherly fashion.

"Yeah, thanks." Alex yawned and stretched "that sedative really works, huh? I reckon I'll just-" Alex fell back down on the surgical table, mouth partly open, face obscured by the golden curtain of his fringe. His chest rising and falling rhythmically.

"Okay," Jack ordered "Tosh, run a back-ground check on this guy, see if you can find where he's staying right now. Ianto, Gwen, get him down to a cell in case he wakes up before we find it."

"A cell?" Gwen asked, surprised "He's just a boy, Jack!"

"He's doesn't even _flirt_ as much as you do." Ianto added. "How can he possibly be dangerous?"

"I'm taking no chances." Jack's tone dissuaded further objections. Wordlessly, Ianto and Gwen carried the boy down to the cells.

TBC

A/N: FYI, Alex is seventeen, which, in Australia is old enough for him to have sex with a woman, but NOT with another man (which makes no sense whatsoever, considering they don't even have pregnancy to worry about. If anything it should be the other way around.) If the laws in Wales are different, someone please tell me (It probably won't affect anything, but it would be nice to know.)


	2. The Awakening

A/N: Anyone who can tell me the name of the current Australian Prime Minister...kudos! I'll think of a reward later...

**TWO: THE AWAKENING**

Vision swimming, head spinning, Alex pushed himself into a kneeling position, and stared blearily at his surroundings. A figure slowly came into focus, a short, not unattractive young woman with dark hair and a gap between her teeth that put Alex strongly in mind of a chipmunk.

"Hello, Alex" She said, voice soft as if attempting to calm him down. Not that it was necessary. Every muscle ached from hours on the cold cement floor, and the last thing he felt inclined to do was move. "Do you know who I am?"

"Bridget Jones?" Alex hazarded, voice croaking from lack of fluids "One of the Olsen twins? A pudding?"

"Alex, this is serious. I need to know if you remember me."

"It's Gwen, right?" Alex sobered up slightly "Can you let me out now?"

"What about the others, what are they called?" She asked.

"Would you give me a break? I feel like I've been skull-fucked by a crowbar!" Alex sighed dramatically, and began to count them off on his fingers. "The Japanese girl is called Toshiko; the guy with the suspenders is Jack. There's Rat-face, or Owen, if you insist and finally, Ianto or, as I like to call him, 'coffee-stud'."

* * *

Jack watched the live CCTV feed of Alex's interrogation, Ianto standing stoically beside him, coffee pot in hand, refilling Jack's mug. 

"I can't believe he just called me 'rat-face'!" Owen declared indignantly. No one dared to point out that his voice squeaked just a little when he was angry.

"I do like the sound of 'coffee-stud', I must admit." Ianto interjected as he moved away to make more coffee. "Beats 'tea boy' any day."

"Found anything, Tosh?" Jack called out.

"No," Toshiko yelled back from her workstation. "No identification, just a few hundred dollars in his back pocket. I've looked up every Alex either living or holidaying in Wales, and none of them look a thing like him."

"Wouldn't 'e need a passport or something to get into the country?" Owen asked.

"He doesn't have one." Tosh said.

"Well, 'e could've thrown it away, or somethin'."

"What do you want us to do, rummage through every trash can in Cardiff?" The two started bickering as Gwen emerged from the cells.

"He remembers everything," she announced, handing Jack the notes she had taken of the conversation, including Alex's body language "the retcon didn't have any effect on him at all."

"Maybe his memories were instantly triggered when he saw you." Ianto suggested, returning with another pot of coffee.

"I doubt that," Toshiko ended her bickering with Owen to interrupt "from what little we know of the process, the recovery of erased memory is always very slow, if it happens at all."

The bio-scan program they had been running on Alex blinked a couple of times, suggesting it had found something interesting. They all dashed over to the monitor. After a few moments of stunned silence, Toshiko pressed a button and the results were printed, snatching them, she took them to the conference table and laid them out flat for everyone to see.

"Just look at that Electroencephalograph!" Toshiko demanded "Look!"

"Impossible!" Jack sounded uncharacteristically delighted by this new discovery.

"What does it mean?" Gwen looked from the paper to the faces around her, who all seemed to have a better understanding of what was going on.

"What does it- gah!" Owen cried, frustrated by Gwen's density "didn't you look at those brainwave patterns?"

"Yeah, so? Brainwaves are good, right? Shows that the brains actually working, sort o' thing, yeah?"

Owen wrapped an arm around Gwen's shoulders and directed her attention back to the chart.

"You see that black line, there?" Owen asked, pointing to it with his pen "That's the Theta brainwave, it appears when someone's tired, horny or meditatin', with me so far?"

Gwen nodded, Owen continued.

"Okay, that's the Delta wave, which crops up during the fourth stage of sleep, which is the deepest one. This one is the Alpha, which occurs during relaxation. Here's the Beta wave, which is associated with anxiety and active concentration. And finally, we have the Gamma wave, which is involved in higher mental activity. You got all that?"

"I think so." Gwen muttered

"Okay, now, a normal person only displays one of these at a time, and on a normal EEG, the Gamma wave never shows up, cause it gets filtered out by the skull. Now, our young friend here has got all five going at once, overlapping each other."

"So he's sleeping, awake, meditating, anxious, involved in higher mental activity _and_ horny, all at the _same time_?" Gwen wondered aloud. "No wonder the retcon failed."

"That's only five brainwave patterns, yes?" Ianto asked, in the tentative manner someone does when they think they've realized something very bad, but have ignored it in the hopes it will go away.

"Yeah, so, can't you count?" Owen sneered.

"I used to think so," Ianto replied, unfazed "but I count six lines on this piece of paper here. Seven if you count the one Jack drew in when we weren't looking."

Jack coughed guiltily, concealing the felt tip marker in his sleeve. All the others crowded around the table once more. There, barely visible amongst the jumbled patterns of Alex's brain lay a row of tiny, perfectly even zigzags, as well as the one Jack drew, which formed an erratic pattern that, one closer inspection, revealed the words "Captain Jack rules", written over and over again.

"Does this mean he's not human?" Toshiko asked.

"Not human enough for my liking," Jack stood up suddenly "I'll go talk to him." Jack strolled confidently down to the cells, his RAF jacket flaring out behind him.

* * *

Alex leaned back against the glass wall, sighing with relief as his headache slowly ebbed away. A harsh screech rent the air and the wall shook violently with sudden impact. Hurling himself to the opposite side of the cell, Alex turned to find himself face to face with the ugliest creature he had ever seen. Brown scaly skin, stretched taut over the hideously misshapen face, sunken eyes that radiated hatred, flaring nostrils and rows of needle-like teeth. Alex trembled with revulsion, but could not bring himself to look away, transfixed by fascinated horror. 

Looking up at the echo of heavy boots on metal stairs, Alex saw Jack descend into the gloom of the basement. Shock forgotten, he rolled his eyes and sank to the floor.

"Oh good, it's Flash Gordon." He groaned "Tell me: do you treat all your guests with the same level of hospitality, or am I a special case?"

"What's your name?" Jack asked his blue eyes suddenly sharp and steely.

"Alexander Bleddyn." Alex replied, the fire in his eyes warring with the ice in Jack's "Didn't we already have this discussion?"

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Jack demanded "You have no passport, no identification. For all I know, you're not even Australian."

"Why are you hounding me?" Alex asked, starting to sound slightly intimidated, yet defiant. "It's not like I'm a Muslim, or a Communist, or any of those other things you Bush-loving bigots are so afraid of!"

"According to your electroencephalograph, you're not even human."

"Electroencephalograph? You scanned my brain?" Alex's eyes blazed with unspoken anger. Jack ignored this and continued with his current line of questioning.

"How can you be tired and horny at the same time?"

"I'm a teenager," Alex snapped "sleep and sex is about all we do."

"Why does your brain not explode?" Jack asked, a manic grin suddenly appearing on his face, the look that the other Torchwood members would normally see when he was leering at a new piece of technology, or a hot guy/girl/whatever. In this case, they might have noticed that Jack's gaze had doubled in intensity. "What does it _mean_?"

Alex had been shrinking back under Jack's glare, which riled him up in a variety of ways. But at the last question he leaned forward, a triumphant smirk on his full lips.

"You mean you don't _know_?" He searched Jack's face for signs of falsehood, finding none. "Oh this is just too good! Mister 'beyond-the-united-nations' strutting around, killing aliens, or whatever, and he's stumped little old me!" Alex jumped up and down in sarcastic glee, clapping his hands "I wish I had someone to brag too!" He suddenly stopped, an evil grin plastered across his face.

"Do you know what this means, Jack?" Alex leaned in closer, until the glass was the only thing that separated them from physical contact. Then he whispered, as if imparting a great secret "You are in _deep_ trouble."

If it weren't for the silent confidence radiating from the boy, Jack would have burst out laughing at that statement.

"Uh, Alex, I think you're having a bit of a blond moment" Jack spoke slowly and clearly, as if to a child. "In case you haven't noticed, this thing we've stuck you in is a cage, and a pretty good one at that."

"Meh," Alex shrugged "seen better. Tell you what, I'll stick around, but only till I get bored of you, then I'm outta here."

Jack scoffed once more for good measure, before turning and sauntering up the steps, with only the slightest hint of worry at the back of his mind. Honestly.

TBC

A/N: Two chapters in one evening, huzzah! Who wants to guess what'll happen next? Anyone? How about you? Nope, guess again!


	3. Day Two

A/N: Seven reviews! SEVEN!!! That may not seem like a lot to you fancy authors, but it's a big deal for me. Thankyou SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed so far:

**wildfirexpassion: **I'm glad you got the reference. Don't worry, you'll find out about Alex in chap 4. This one does offer a bit more insight into his character, though.

**SerenityJane: **I was actually really worried about staying faithful to the characters, so thank you! And yes, it is cheating, sorry, but revel in your superiority over my other readers. AUSTRALIA RULES!

**coffeemagic: **It's great that this might turn out to be one of your favourites, I really hope it does! Thanks for the info, and anything I can do to help you enjoy the story more, DO NOT HESITATE!!!

**picky and paranoid**: With a pename like _that_, knowing that you enjoy my story feels twices as good. Keep the fun facts coming, and don't feel bad, my total knowledge of Canada boils down to two words: maple syrup. WOO, MAPLE SYRUP!!!

**Gamine Madcap: **I AM THE MASTER OF SUSPENSE! Or at least, that's how I felt after reading your review, thanks!

**Ne'ith5: **I wasn't intending to _assess_ anything, per se, but thanks. I'll post more chapters as quick as possible.

**Crazy-Gurrl-x:** I'm glad you think it's cool, very little about me is.

**DISCLAIMER: **I like to think that Russel T. Davies has _better _things to do than stalk cyberspace, looking for fictioneers to subpoena, but here goes anyway: I DO NOT OWN TORCHWOOD. I MAKE NO MONEY FROM THIS WHEREAS YOU, MR. DAVIES, HAVE PLENTY! DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME SUING ME, YOU WILL GET NOWHERE. Another thing I don't own is the song 'Touch-a Touch-a Touch me' from 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show', which Alex sings in this chapter.

**WARNING:** Male/male flirting and explicit references to (but no explicit _acts _of) ORAL SEX. If you don't like that...what the hell is _wrong_ with you?

**THREE: DAY TWO**

Alex yawned and stretched, his stiff muscles groaning in protest. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes, opening them just a fraction. He sat bolt upright, looking around in shock. As he recalled the events of the previous evening, he sank back down, feeling strangely relieved. A raspy snarl brought him up again. Alex turned to face the 'alligator-man', as he had named it. His fear of the creature had been replaced by a sense of companionship, after spending the night in the same conditions. He shuffled over to it.

"Can you talk?" He asked. The creature growled at him, Alex laughed. "English, I mean." The creature made no noise, staring at Alex intently, though its stare was not nearly as frightening as Jack's had been last night. Jack looked like he wanted to eat him, and not in the good way.

"Are there others like you?" Alex asked "Friends, family, that sort of thing?" The creature snarled again, though it seemed to have slight inflection in it, indicating an affirmative.

"You're lucky." Alex sighed "I'm one of a kind. Well, not really, I guess, I am still human. It's just that…well…I'm special, I guess." Was it Alex's imagination or were the black eyes of the leathery beast beginning to soften? "I don't mind being different," Alex added "I actually think it's really cool; I can do all kinds of things! But…" Alex trailed off, looking at the floor. 'Alligator-man' watched him patiently.

"Everyone gets mad at me." Alex finished, sounding small and defeated as he drew circle patterns in the dust of the cell floor. He looked up again and walked towards the creature on his knees.

"I've been meaning to ask, who dressed you?"

* * *

After doing his rounds, doling out the morning coffee, Ianto took some food down to the cells for their newest addition to the 'zoo' as he sometimes found himself calling it. At the top of the stairs he paused, taking time to conceal his surprise when he saw that Alex and the weevil were facing each other through the protective glass, mirroring each other's movements. It was so well done that even Ianto couldn't tell who was copying who. He approached in silence, watching as Alex and the weevil stood on one leg, waving their arms over their heads, before shifting into a crouching position. The pair looked as though they were about to attempt a handstand when Alex noticed Ianto's approach. 

Ianto was not comfortable with the idea of feeding Alex the same mush that they gave the weevils. It was true that the mush was better than what the wild weevils ate, but Ianto suspected that Alex, as a human (apparently), was used to food that, well, for starters, actually looked like food.

"Hey," Alex smiled, almost shy compared to the blatant disregard he had shown for personal space just yesterday morning.

"I, uh, brought you some food." Ianto passed a tray bearing an apple, a sandwich and a bottle of water through the food slot. Alex's eyes lit up, giving Ianto the impression that the boy did not often get a proper meal.

"Wow, thanks," Alex took the tray and sat cross-legged on the ground, tying his hair back with an elastic band so it wouldn't get in the way "I usually live off junk food."

Ianto pulled up a chair and watched as the young man practically inhaled the sandwich, making sounds of obvious enjoyment. His pleasured moans were so enticing that Ianto was certain that they were deliberately intended to arouse him, and it was _working_. Damn. Hoping to make Alex stop, Ianto engaged him in conversation.

"You know, 'Bleddyn' is a welsh name," He started, grasping at straws "it means 'wolf cub'." Alex looked up, swallowing a mouthful of sandwich. He nodded at the camera embedded in the roof.

"You were watching?" Alex asked. Ianto nodded, deciding not to mention (just in case Jack saw the footage later) that they had all laughed at Alex's 'Flash Gordon' remark. Alex shrugged.

"My dad was from Wales," he looked back to the floor again "He came to Australia when he was just a kid, younger than me. When I was born, I got automatic citizenship."

"Is that true?" Ianto asked, it sounded honest enough, but doubt lingered in the back of his mind (he was himself, a pretty good liar, it was part of the job). If Alex really was a welsh citizen, how come there was no record of him?

"Not officially" Alex admitted "I haven't got the documentation to prove it, and-" Alex's mouth clamped shut, as if he had been about to let something slip.

"And?" Ianto prompted

"Nothing." Alex finished lamely, taking another bite to avoid going into further detail. Knowing that pressing the matter would only upset the boy further, Ianto stood to leave. As he reached the steps, Alex called for him to stop.

"Listen, I wanna thank you for the food-"

"You don't have to." Ianto interrupted, but Alex continued.

"And I was thinking, these air holes in the door are pretty big, and if you stand on that chair…" Ianto blushed furiously and headed up the stairs before Alex could finish that sentence. "Or I could sing, if you like, I've been told I have a pretty good voice." Ianto disappeared through the door, shutting it quickly behind him.

"Is that a no?" Alex called after his rapidly retreating back.

* * *

Jack had been making his way down to the cells, to see what was taking Ianto so long, and to request another cup of coffee, when he found himself with an armful of hot and bothered Welshman. 

"Hey Ianto, what's u-" He paused when he felt the slight, yet significant pressure digging into his hip "So _that's _what's u-" The breath was knocked out of him by a sharp, sudden elbow to the stomach from Ianto, who quickly retreated upstairs. Deciding to see what had caused the normally collected man to lose his cool, Jack headed to the cells himself.

His eyes took a moment to adjust to the relative gloom of the dingy basement, after the bright lights of the Hub proper. The faint strains of singing and a simple one-two rhythm being clapped out reached his ears and, as he continued down the stairs, the words became clearer and he found himself grinning and bobbing his head in time with the song.

"_Now all I want to know is how to go_

_I've tasted blood and I want more_

_I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance_

_I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance_"

Alex stopped when he heard the familiar heavy footfalls; he turned and grinned manically at Jack.

"Captain Ego!" He exclaimed "How good to see you. Great jacket by the way, you steal it from a veteran?" His tone was suddenly cold, his eyes glowing. Jack ignored the insults.

"I was just wondering what you did to our poor tea-boy to get him so upset," Jack smirked smarmily. He was rewarded with a short laugh.

"Actually, I offered to blow him. He turned tail and ran." Jack laughed, thinking it was a joke at first, until he saw Alex's serious look and folded arms.

"Well you keep at it, young man," Jack offered in a fatherly tone "Ianto was like that with me at first, always accusing me of 'sexual harassment'."

"I'm not surprised." Alex retorted "_You_ could commit sexual harassment simply by sitting quietly in another room. You and sex are like dingos and babies!" He stopped suddenly as his brain caught up with his mouth. "You and Ianto slept together?"

"Yep." Jack gloated "Surprised?"

"Not really," Alex gave a one-shouldered shrug "He's still human; even the best of us make terrible, terrible, _terrible_ mistakes."

"Uh-huh." Jack nodded sagely "Well, I got what I came for, so I'll leave you alone." As he reached the foot of the stairs he turned. "Hey, if you've started giving out blowjo-"

"No chance." Alex shot back, turning away.

"Fair enough."

Alex waited until he heard the door shut before he sank to the floor. He'd already been here long enough. Despite himself, he had to admit that Jack possessed a certain charm, and it was only a matter of time before he caved. And there was that other, more serious matter… He turned to his cellmate, who growled in an almost sympathetic manner.

"I have _got _to get out of here."

A/N: Here you go, hope you like. Why weren't Gwen, Owen or Tosh in this chapter? WHO CARES? Will Alex escape? Yes. But how? What is the other 'serious matter'? And, most importantly, who will get the coveted blowjob? Ianto? Jack? Both? At once? I don't even know yet, but would love to hear your wild speculations. Now I have to go sleep on my newly self assembled IKEA bed. A new chapter _and_ a succesful foray into DIY! Is there no end to my accomplishments? I WILL NEVER SUCCUMB TO THE EVIL OF THE SWEDISH FURNITURE HELL-GODS!!!! VICTORY SHALL BE MINE!!!!!!

PS: Reviews give me the love my parents don't. R&R, you know you wanna.


	4. The Escape

A/N: Chapter four is here! Rejoice, my loyal readers. Considering this is my first attempt at a fanfic, the positive feedback has been overwhelming. A total of 9 reviews, my heart sings with pride!

**paranoid and picky:** Thanks for the fun fact. As it transpires, that's the same colour scheme OUR parliament uses! Perhaps you used an Australian decorator, or vice versa? BTW, I find that I'm constan'ly misusin' ap'ostroph'es (sorry, couldn't resist) so if you see any, point them out so I can fix them! I also know of the sleep-deprived giddyness of which you speak,though in my case, it stems from staying up past midnight to write this! Also,I just remembered that my 8th Grade Math/Science teacher was Canadian. She was so awesome...GO CANADA.

**coffeemagic: **Crying with laughter? Nobody has cried with laughter at anything I've said/done/wrote before! EVER! I'm glad you liked my disclaimer, hope the story didn't pale in comparison.

**DISCLAIMER**

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_'I don't own Torchwood'_

_Now you can't sue!_

Read on!

**FOUR: THE ESCAPE**

The giant, cog-shaped door rolled back and Gwen strolled into the hub, pulling off her gloves and shaking the snow from her hair. The nonchalance she displayed was a far cry from the indescribable awe she had felt on her first day. She stomped up to the conference table, where the others were all seated, watching the live CCTV feed from the cells. She reflected, somewhat bitterly, that none of the team had showed even half as much interest in Carys.

"Is he playing the mirror game with the weevil again?" She asked, coming to sit between Owen and Toshiko.

"No, he's playing with a tennis ball." Toshiko replied, eyes following the path of the ball as it left Alex's hand, hit the floor, bounced up to the wall between the two cells and curved in a perfect arc, back to Alex's hand. The weevil was scrabbling to catch the ball, oblivious to the glass that prevented it.

"Who gave him that anyway?" Jack asked, glancing at Owen.

"Wasn't me." Owen defended "I'm still not over that 'rat-face' remark."

"I did." Ianto admitted "Last night. I thought he might be bored."

"Right," Owen sneered "and the possibility of gettin' a teenager to go down on you never once crossed your mind?"

"That sort of offer is difficult to forget," Ianto's face was stony and expressionless "but I have no intention of taking him up on it."

"Whereas you, Owen" Toshiko added "would have your pants around your ankles before the boy could blink."

"Shouldn't someone give him some breakfast?" Gwen interrupted, looking at her watch, in an obvious attempt to defuse the situation before Toshiko and Owen started a full-blown row. Ianto moved as if to stand up, only to have Jack push him back down.

"I'll do it," Jack insisted, wagging a warning finger at Ianto "I don't think you can be trusted."

Gwen suppressed a sudden snort of laughter, having the decency to at least pretend to be ashamed when Jack shot her a scathing glare.

"Who would put out for a tennis ball anyway?" Ianto asked, perplexed.

* * *

Alex leaned back against the wall, grinning not-so-innocently as he watched 'Janet' as Ianto referred to her fail to catch the ball for the two-hundredth time. His guilt at tormenting the beast was overridden by the pure absurdity of the spectacle. He was feeling confident. The fall, combined with the sedative and the 'aspirin' (Alex had deduced the truth some time ago) though not having the desired effect, had certainly scrambled his mind. Now, however, he seemed to have regained all his faculties. It seemed only fair, considering the circumstances, to give Jack one more chance… 

As if on cue, the door swung open with a drawn-out squeak. Alex looked up, hoping to see Ianto. His face fell when the silhouette coalesced into the no less appealing, but still unwelcome figure of Captain Jack.

"Oh, it's you." Alex made no effort to conceal his disappointment.

"Hey, I'll have you know that most people would be lucky to see me two days in a row." Jack declared indignantly "I'm usually gone before they wake up."

Alex stood, glaring at Jack defiantly; the fire in his eyes had been replaced by lightning. Later, Jack would swear he'd seen sparks.

"Last chance Jack, let me out of here."

"And what if I don't?" Jack asked, passing Alex a tray with a glass of milk and two pieces of buttered toast.

"Then I'll escape," Alex prophesied, taking the tray in one hand "and you, my captivating captor, will look pretty stupid."

Jack allowed himself a cocky grin, turning around to saunter back up the stairs. A dull clanking sound caused him to whirl around. On the floor of the now empty cage, a forlorn tennis ball rocked from side to side. The lights flickered off and the door swung shut, plunging him into darkness.

* * *

Alex munched greedily on a piece of toast, placing the tray gently on a nearby desk so as not to attract the attention of the others. Risking a brief glance upwards, he saw that they were all staring at a large monitor in some confusion. It was probably the cell's camera, and they were trying to figure out why the screen went dark. Looking to his left, he saw the money they had taken from him lying on a workstation. He crept over to it, counted it, and slipped the cash into his back pocket. 

He scouted the lower levels for an exit, winding his way through the complicated machinery. Where was that lift they said he'd fallen through? He spotted a cog-shaped door. That looked promising. Now he just had to get all the way across the floor, without being seen or making a single noise…yep…that's all. Easy.

Just then, on the cusp of hearing, he heard muffled swearing, and a thump. The door to the cells swung backwards, striking the wall with a deafening clang, revealing a positively livid Captain Jack.

"Fuck it." Alex took to his heels, tearing across the floor, colliding with Owen who had dashed down the stairs to grab him. After a brief tussle, Alex was on the floor arms pinned to his sides. Owen blinked, and found himself restraining vacant floor space before a boot between his shoulder blades sent him sprawling to the floor. Alex veered to the left, only to find himself facing Gwen, who had a gun trained on him.

"Fr-" she began before finding herself hurled across the Hub by incredible force, colliding with the railing that ringed the medical bay. Jack pulled out his own gun, only to have it fly out of his grasp, into Alex's. The boy stared at the gun for a moment, as if unsure what purpose it served. His eyes sparked and the weapon began to twist and writhe in his hand, as if in pain, before falling to the ground as a shapeless mass.

Toshiko ran towards Alex, only to find she was unable to get within three feet of him before striking an invisible wall.

Ianto could only watch, stunned by the carnage below. Toshiko fell to the floor with a dull thump, and suddenly Alex was beside Ianto. Before he could move, or even call out, he was pulled by his tie into a deep kiss, before being released, gasping for breath. Alex ducked out of view as Owen sailed past them with a strangled battle-cry; he leapt to his feet and was instantly floored by an uppercut from Jack, only to fall back on his hands, lashing out with his legs, and scything Jack's out from under him, before springing back up like a yoyo. Another blink and Alex was at the door, which was rolling back of its own volition to allow him passage. Before ducking out of sight, the boy fixed Ianto with a heated gaze.

"Next time," he called "I'm slipping the tongue in!" With that, he ducked out of view. Jack picked himself up from the floor, literally foaming at the mouth.

"After him." Jack growled, low and threatening.

* * *

After dashing down the corridor and a tension filled ride in the elevator, during which Ianto had received pointed glares from his bruised teammates, they finally spilled out into the tourist info desk, sunlight spilling in through the open doorway. They charged out into the Roald Dahl Plass, which, apart from the occasional passerby and the light layer of early morning snow, already turning to slush, was completely empty. 

"Spread out and find him." Jack ordered "It shouldn't be too hard, his clothes are pretty distinctive."

"Um, Jack?" Gwen approached him timidly, holding a navy-blue jacket and a tie-dyed shirt. Owen added frayed and faded jeans to the pile, along with a pair of boxer briefs. Ianto and Toshiko each bore a sock.

"Okay…" Jack was struggling to remain enthusiastic "is he wearing anything at _all_?"

"We couldn't find his shoes." Toshiko supplied.

"Shoes!" Jack rubbed his hands eagerly "Perfect! Who remembers what they looked like?"

Silence.

"Say what you like about the little fucker," Owen smiled grimly "but you can't deny he has guts."

A/N: Hope you liked it. This is the first chapter I've actually managed to post BEFORE one am. Just so you know, I'm setting the story in early December, to suit the festive mood. (Christmas and Summer, all at once, I bet you North Hemispherians are green with envy) I'm gonna go the whole hog and see if I can't get chapter five posted this evening. I haven't even written it yet, so cross your fingers!


	5. When the Captain Calls

A/N: Alright, two chapters in one day! It's 11:10 PM right _now_. I feel like I should tell you that, when I started this thing, I had only the vaguest concepts of plot,and no planned sequence of events. But as soon I as start to write, the characters just take over. It's almost as though the story is simply using me as a vessel to get itself written, and the plot is coalescing. Oh, and REVIEW, people! I crave it, I _need _it. Just one more hit, I'll do anything, _anything_!!!

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. Literally, not even the dvd's! My mother paid for the- oh, screw it! You know what? Sue me, I don't care! You're the one who should feel bad! Trawling through fanfiction websites, looking for loyal viewers to hold upside down and shake money out of while they flail their limbs, begging for mercy with humorously high pitched voices! Is that anyway to treat your fanbase? You disgust me! For shame, Mr. Davies, FOR SHAME.

On the _other _hand, if you're looking for some fresh writing talent (you can never have too much), you could do A LOT worse than some of the fine authors on this site. I've read their stuff, Mr. Davies, and it's good. It's _really _good. And you could take a lesson in smut from them too. If you ask me, you haven't got nearly enough of it.

**WARNINGS: **This one's relatively tame, considering, though there is some phone-flirting and a brief food fetish fantasy, inspired in part by Canada. So thank you, Canadian's everywhere. I felt it was long overdue. Also,in case you haven't figured it out by _now_ (ya idjit) my OC, Alex? Well, he's GAY. G-A-Y, GAY. I am _not_ kidding. He plays the pink trombone, smokes the flesh guitar (guitar? I mean cigar) , insert tired euphemism here! He likes the co- well, you get my point. But there's very little of that in _this_ chapter anyway. If you ask me, the most offensive thing about it is the totally_ lame_ title, as featured below. Doesn't it _suck_? I _know_, right? God, I _can't_ believe I did that, I am _so_ embarassed...

**FIVE: WHEN THE CAPTAIN CALLS**

Detective Kathy Swanson sank with some trepidation into her painfully uncomfortable, government issued chair, making a face at the foul swill Starbucks had seen fit to serve her. Her morning break had just ended, and she had a solid three hours of paperwork to look forward to before she could even _begin_ to think about possibly speculating over even the faintest idea of _maybe_ going to lunch. Drowning in a deadly combination of busywork and self pity, she barely registered the phone until its third ring. It was on it's fifth before she managed to find it, buried under her avalanche of an in-tray.

"Hello?"

"_Detective Swanson, your voice is like music to my ears_."

Good lord, she could _hear _him leering at her through the phone. She rubbed at her temple with her free hand. The man was a headache waiting to happen.

"Captain Harkness…" She paused. What should she say? If she was too nice, he might call again. If she was rude…oh,who was she kidding? He'd call anyway. "How may I direct your call?" She asked, hoping against hope

"_Actually, it was you I was hoping to speak with_."

"Really?" Crap. "In that case, how can I help you?"

"_I was wondering if you would help us look for someone._"

"Anyone at all, or did you have someone specific in mind?"

She grabbed a pad of paper and a pen, and began scribbling down features as Jack listed them.

"Male, mid to late teens, dark blond hair, green eyes, average height, slim, muscular build; is that everything?"

"_He might be naked._"

"Nake-?" Detective Swanson stopped herself from yelling the word at the top of her lungs "Why are you after this guy anyway?"

"_Well…"_

She sat back in her chair, expecting the response to be fairly long. As Jack continued, a sly smile spread on her lips. She leaned back in her chair, resting her high-heeled feet on her in-tray. Her free hand toyed idly with the phone cord, before beckoning over the rest of her workmates, who gathered in anticipation as she pressed the speaker button.

"Sorry, can you just run that by me again?"

* * *

"He escaped from one of our holding cells, took down my entire team and fled the building." Jack reiterated. 

"_Right, and how old did you say he was?_"

"About sixteen or seventeen."

A storm of laughter burst from the earpiece of the phone, almost deafening Jack. He held it away from him, drumming impatiently on the desk until it died down.

* * *

Swanson silenced the cluster of colleagues with a wave of her hand. 

"Okay, we've got his description; we'll keep an eye out for him. Anything else?"

"_Yeah; what are you wearing?_"

* * *

Jack leapt back, holding the phone at arms length, as if it had bit him. 

"There was no need to slam it so hard." Jack muttered, placing the phone back in its cradle.

"I've got some stuff that might help." Toshiko announced, striding confidently through the door "Ianto was kind enough to dig these articles up from the archives."

"And so he should help," Jack grumbled, pouting "making out while we got our asses handed to us."

"_Right_…" Toshiko remembered their encounter with the _real_ Captain Jack, deciding that it might be a bit unfair to judge Ianto so harshly. "Anyway, here it is."

Jack looked at it.

"Psychokinesis?"

"Yep, from the Greek _psyche_, meaning 'mind' or 'soul' and _kinesis_, 'motion'. It translates to 'motion from the mind'."

"I _know_ what it means; I want to know why you think _he _has it."

"Well," Toshiko began "The term 'psychokinesis' covers a range of specialized abilities; I have a list here." She drew out another piece of paper, moving her finger down it as she read. "There's telekinesis, movement of matter, we saw him do that to Gwen, and when he took your gun. Object deformation; what he did _after _he took your gun." Jack came around and read the list over her shoulder.

"Teleportation; that's how he got out of the cell, and when he was fighting Owen, and he put up an energy shield when you tackled him."

"There's a whole lot more," Toshiko finished "but we don't know if he can do them…yet."

"Is there anything in the archives about others with these abilities?" Jack asked "We might find someone who knew him. He might be part of, oh; I don't know, a cabal, a gang, a chat room, anything!"

"We only have info on people like Uri Geller, and there's no definitive proof, in their cases, and none of them can do anything more than bend spoons, or guess which card you're holding. But the stuff Alex did, that's altogether different. And there's no way he could have faked it."

* * *

Alex emerged from the change room, relieved, both that he no longer had to project the image of wearing clothes, and that he was suitably dressed for winter in Cardiff. Thought-form projection required intense concentration, which was difficult to maintain when you were constantly aware that all that stood between you and a public indecency charge was your own imagination. He had abandoned his more colourful tastes for soft earth tones (meaning 'mostly brown') with a green scarf to match his eyes. He looked himself up and down in a nearby mirror. Not bad. 

"You look great!" Exclaimed the shop girl who had been assisting him, "Would you like a bag for them?!"

"No thanks." Alex replied, wondering how 'Cindy', as her nametag proclaimed her, managed to exclaim everything she said, even questions. "I'll wear them now, gotta break the jeans in."

"Ain't that the truth!" Cindy shrieked "Just come 'round to the counter, and I'll give you a receipt!"

That last exclamation freed Alex of any guilt that he might have previously felt over paying Cindy with illusory money. Hell, if anything, _she _owed _him_. Several excited shrieks later, Alex left, having made a total profit of one winter outfit…and a receipt. He was riding a high,but knew he wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. He needed a job, and soon. Just a couple of days pulling a wage, and then hop on a plane to Zimbabwe, or Peru, maybe even Canada!

Lost in a daydream of being coated with maple syrup, and having it licked off by a few nubile young men, Alex collided with another pedestrian and fell with a bump on the sidewalk. The young woman passed by, barely sparing him a second glance. Alex glared at her with indignation, before recognition set in. The elegant curve of her neck, her slim waist, and the powerful, confident strides of a trained kill- no. Alex shook himself mentally. Now was not the time to be getting paranoid. After all, there were millions of people in the world, of course there were bound to be a few look-alikes. And besides, he hadn't even seen the girl's face.

"Nah couldn't be _her_," He reassured himself aloud, drawing a few stares "Wales is too hot for her. _Siberia's_ too hot for her."

Suddenly, he was cut of mid ramble when a stray breeze blew a piece of damp, luridly coloured paper into his face. After a brief moment of screaming panic, he collected his thoughts and peeled the offending article from his skin. The phrase '**MAKE HUNDREDS IN ONE SHIFT!!!**' leapt out at him. So did '**NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY!!!**' Even after reading '**Over eighteen only, must provide identification**', he was undaunted. He scanned the address, filing it away in his mind before folding the paper and slipping it into the pocket of his new jacket.

"Oh yeah!" He drew more stares as he rubbed his hands in anticipation "I could _so _do this!"

TBC...

A/N: So there you have it. Over all, I'm pretty proud of this chapter, exceptfor the goddamn title. But titles, for me, are kind of a last minute thing. If it weren't for the fact that I had to post this story, I would never have titled it. I mean, '_Headcase_'? What was I _thinking_? Anyway, the story's moving along at a nice pace, I think. Though it's not as funny here. I got to bring in Detective Swanson (had to look up her first name, I thought it was Kate) and I managed to overshadow (is that the right word?) the arrival of my villain. A woman from Alex's past. Who woulda guessed? Not me! As I said, when I started this, I was just typing; typing about nothing.

Can you guess what Alex's new job will be? Can ya? Find out next chapter!


	6. Ambushed

A/N: Out of curiousity, I checked out the profiles of some of my reviewers earlier, read your work, and all I can say is: Oh. My. GOD. Being a first-time fan-fictioneer myself, I'm not sure how much my opinion counts for but, seriously, you guys are GOOD, like, amazingly good! It's also kind of disheartening. My goal in life is to become a professional writer, so I really, really hope that I don't have to compete against any of you. One of my personal favourites was **coffeemagic's** Torchwood-ised version of Lewis Carole's poem, 'Jabberwocky' (I've never read the poem before, so it was also educational), and I'm hanging on the edge of my seat for the next update of 'Resurrection' by **SerenityJane **(I don't really get it, but I _do_ really like it). Keep up the good work, guys!

**DISCLAIMER:** Do I _have_ to keep doing these things? Okay, here goes:

I don't own Torchwood.

_Yo no propio_ Torchwood.

_Je ne suis pas propriétaire_ Torchwood

_Ich bin nicht Eigentümer_ Torchwood.

_Ik heb geen eigen _Torchwood.

_Non posseido _Torchwood.

Δεν το δικο Torchwood

Я не являюсь владельцем Торчвуд

_Eu não próprio_ Torchwood

私を持っていないたいまつ用材

나는이 소유하지 않은 torchwood

_Quack quack _Torchwood.

_Woof woof_ Torchwood.

_Ribbit _Torchwood _ribbit_.

Okay, that's every language that 'Google' translate _has_. From this day forward, no duck, dog, frog or human with access to the internet can accuse me of plagiarism. SUCK ON THAT, RUSSEL T. DAVIES. SEE YOU IN COURT, BI-ATCH! (and to **coffeemagic:** I hope I made you laugh again, but I beg you, be considerate of your flatmates: if they kick you out, how will I get your reviews?)

**WARNING:** This shouldn't be necessary, but for those of you who've gotten this far without noticing, this story contains the following:

1) Romantic interaction between men, including: flirting, kissing and blatant propositions in cellrooms.

2) Nudity and references to sexual acts, such as fellatio and licking maple syrup off people, and, as of this chapter

3) References to (and depictions of) the art of dancing whilst taking ones clothes off for money! (But hey, look on the bright side; so far, Owen hasn't been involved in any of them.)

4) Oh yeah, and violence. But come _on_, a little _violence_ never hurt anyone. In fact, this story is incredibly tame, compared to an actual episode of Torchwood. (Except, _maybe_ 'Random Shoes', and even then, it's close)

Anyway, here you go, don't forget to review!

SIX: AMBUSHED 

Detective Swanson refused to let herself be embarrassed. After all, she worked hard, right? Murders, paperwork; it wasn't easy being a copper, was it? Besides, it was Friday night, and she deserved a chance to let her hair down, didn't she? Yeah, she did. Especially after rounding up all those potential suspects for Jack bloody Harkness.

Still, she couldn't but feel a little nervous as, step by step, she approached the gaping mouth of the club. It was opening night, and the ticket had been a gift from her sister, something of a joke, really. ("You're always so serious, Kathy, you should have some fun. Go out and get absolutely hammered"). Well, that was what she was going to do. She was going to go in, go straight to the bar, get absolutely blind, and watch strange men dance and take their clothes off. Perfectly harmless.

She'd been in hundreds of clubs before, she reminded herself, hundreds. But that was usually for work, breaking up brawls, ambushing drug dealers, that sort of thing. And it was mostly during the day. She'd never seen them like this, with hundreds of people milling about, screaming, throwing money in every direction.

One by one, patrons flashed their tickets, and their proof of age to the bouncers, and were admitted without complaint. Still, Kathy worried that she would be rejected. That she would look too young, or too old. Or maybe they would sense that she didn't fit in and laugh in her face, before turning away. As she got ever closer, the entrance, with its flashing lights and billowing smoke, began to resemble the gates of Hell. Any minute now, those bouncers were going to sprout horns. She knew it.

Now it was her turn. Wordlessly, she handed her ticket and her driver's license to one of the mountainous men, who nodded and waved her through. She took a deep breath, here goes nothing…

She plunged into the darkness. A small staircase led down into the main area. The noise was oddly muffled here. She could hear the pounding beat, and the shrieks of the audience, but it was as if she had cotton wool in her ears. Holding herself up proudly, refusing to be intimidated, she marched through the tiny hallway, emerging in the dim red lights of the club's inner sanctum.

That wasn't so hard now, was it?

* * *

Alex stared at himself, not entirely sure what he was looking at, and feeling more than a little self conscious. The other men wandered back and forth in the communal dressing room, in various states of undress. Something in the back of his mind told him he shouldn't be looking at his reflection. After all, he'd seen his reflection before, and it was boring. 

He remembered his audition. After handing him back his 'id' (a blank piece of card with the image projected over it) the manager told him to get on stage and dance. A numbing horror had overcome him at that moment. If there was one thing he _hadn't_ been taught, it was how to dance. _Normal_ kids knew how to dance. Nevertheless, he had clambered awkwardly on the stage and, after being gently prompted to 'get a move on', had performed some his flashiest fighting moves, throwing in back flips and a cartwheel for good measure. The pole had helped. Part of combat training was using the environment to your advantage. And dropping to the ground in a side-split had been an impressive finale, if the applause was anything to go by.

He was jolted back to reality when the naval officer (now only wearing his cap and sequined underwear) tapped him on the shoulder and told him that he was on soon. He thanked him and headed out of the change room, into the hallway, sidestepping the traffic cop as he made his way to the plush, heavy curtain. He risked peeking through it and saw, at the end of a short runway, the lumberjack, just finishing up. He gulped. He was nervous. Not about taking his clothes off, he'd done that a million times. Albeit, not with an audience. He was worried that he would be _bad_ at taking his clothes off. What if he did it in the wrong order? Or tripped over something? He looked down at his construction worker costume. It was the only one that had fit, and the hard hat was constantly slipping over his eyes. All the other men were in their mid-twenties, with bulging muscles that filled out the clothes perfectly, and one was an ex-Chippendales dancer!

* * *

Detective Swanson remembered that someone had once told her that alcohol was a social lubricant. Well, she felt thoroughly lubricated. And that last drink made her feel a lot more courageous than she had been just moments before. The next performer would be on any second, and she was in the mood for some well-deserved ogling. After her phone encounter with Captain Jack, and a face-to-face one later in the day, when he came to look at the line-up, she'd earned it. She quickly took a recently vacated table right next to the stage. An electronically distorted voice boomed from all directions. 

"_**Our next performer is a sinfully sweet construction worker from outback Australia! He'll demolish your self control with his erotic acrobatics! Give it up for the wonder from Down under, our very own boy from Oz, ALEX!**_"

* * *

Alex grimaced at his own introduction. Judging from the surprisingly high number of men in the crowd, he thought the announcer could have worked in a 'towering erection' pun. He nearly tripped over his steel-capped boots when someone pushed him roughly from behind. 

Stumbling awkwardly through the curtains, almost pulling them down, Alex found himself under the glaring spotlight, his forehead prickling with the beginnings of sweat. The hard hat fell over his eyes again. Incensed, he gripped the offending item and hurled it away from him, into the crowd. The crowd cheered. Alex grinned, before undoing his tool belt with one pull and letting it fall to the floor with a clang. It would only get in the way.

* * *

Detective Swanson looked up from the hard hat that had landed in her lap, to the young man cart wheeling his way to the end of the stage. When he came to a stop and slid down the pole, to his knees, she was able to get a good look at him. The description of Jack's fugitive immediately sprang to mind. Blond hair, average height, slim, muscular…and those eyes! Talk about green! They completely reinvented the colour! But wasn't he too young to be working here? He certainly didn't look eighteen, but surely he would have needed to provide proof of age? 

She really, _really_ didn't want to call Jack.

On the other hand, she didn't know what the kid had done. What if he was another psychotic killer?

On the _other_ other hand, she really, really, _really_ didn't want to call Jack.

Conscience won out. Sighing, she flipped open her phone, and dialed.

* * *

Jack snatched up the phone a split second after the first ring. 

"Hello?"

"_Cap…found…matches…desk_." What was that noise in the background?

"What? You've found a cap to match my desk? Who is this? Detective Swanson?"

"_Captain, I've found someone who matches the description you gave me_."

"Another one? After all those failed match-ups-"

"_Well, maybe if you weren't so bloody vague, we would have found him before now. You didn't even give us his name!_"

"What about the eyes? So far none of the ones we've seen have the right shade of green."

"_Harkness, if his eyes aren't green, then nothing is!_"

"Okay, but is he naked? I distinctly remember telling you he might be naked."

* * *

Detective Swanson glanced back up at the stage. 

"He's definitely getting there, believe me."

"_Okay, where are you?_"

"I'm at a nightclub on Westgate Street." Please don't ask what it's called. Please, please, please, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease_please_.

"_What's it called?_" Fuck! Why did he have to ask?

"_I don't have all day, Detective Swanson_."

"Oh, alright! It's called-"

* * *

The corners of Jack's mouth crept upwards, into a Cheshire cat grin. 

"Why, Detective Swanson, I didn't know you had it in you!"

"_Just get your smarmy arse down here. And stop grinnin'! I swear, I can hear you grinnin'!_"

* * *

Five minutes later, the totally unnoticeable and not at all conspicuous 'Torchwood' SUV skidded to a screeching halt outside the club. 

"Here we are!" Jack proclaimed as he clambered out, followed by Owen, Gwen and Toshiko, who read the flashing neon sign hanging above the entrance.

"The Gee Spot. I've heard about this place. Tonight's opening night."

"You need to pay in advance to get in," Gwen added "and it's pretty expensive. I was thinkin' of checking it out next Friday; Rhys is going to some sports thing."

"What's the brat doin' in there?" Owen asked

"I don't know," Jack mused "but I would _love_ to find out. Too bad we can't get in. Owen, Tosh, you hang out here, grab him if you see him. Gwen, with me; we'll wait at the back entrance."

* * *

Alex pushed through the small crowd of congratulators, and out the service entrance, into the cool night air. He breathed deeply, relieved to be out of the dingy, smoky club. Towards the end of his routine, he had begun to feel lightheaded from the alcohol fumes alone. One hand clutched the wad of cash he had earned. He whistled tunelessly as he counted it. More than a thousand pounds and for only a few minutes work! Now all he needed was a room for a few days, and he'd be set.

* * *

Gwen and Jack watched from their vantage point behind a dumpster, as Alex walked out onto the open street, stopping suddenly under a lamppost. His head turned wildly, like a deer that has heard the approach of a predator. 

"Do you think he saw us?" Gwen hissed. Jack said nothing, but his expression was tense. Without the element of surprise, they were screwed. Alex could kill them both with a flick of his wrist. Jack wondered why he hadn't.

Suddenly, Alex turned. And for the briefest of moments, Jack could have sworn the boy had looked right at them. Instead, he turned past their hiding spot. Jack followed Alex's line of sight and saw, to his surprise, a silhouetted figure, cloaked in the shadows.

* * *

Alex's eyes threatened to outshine the very light in which he was bathed. The fire that blazed in them was all-consuming; reaching out to battle the chill that spread through his body. 

"You." All of Alex's loathing was compressed into that one syllable.

The darkness surrounding the spectral figure was dispelled, revealing a ghostly young woman. Skin pale and wraith-like, hair so black it absorbed any light that touched it. Cold, grey eyes, filled with hate. Soft, pink lips stretched into an ugly sneer that marred an otherwise flawless face.

"Me."

TBC

A/N: Wooooo, scary! Sorry if I got you all excited for male strippery goodness. I'll make up for it in coming chapters with more violence, and a good dose of angst. I also apologise to those of you who were looking forward to some Jack/Ianto action. That probably won't be happening. In fact, I don't forsee a lot of romance in the future ofany of these characters, though feelings will develop, and romance-induced confusion may occur. Don't really know how long this thing is gonna be, though. I'm kinda taking it chapter by chapter.

Oh, and in response to **SerenityJane**, no, I do not have a life. However, if my mother gets her way, I _will_ have a summer job, and that may see production on this slow down somewhat. But I am going to keep writing it, no matter what (I'm just as curious about where I'm headed as you are.)

Anyway, hope you guys will keep reading and reviewing. BTW. Does anyone know how I can find out how many hits this thing is getting? Right now, my only indicator is the reviews. The number of people who read this has a direct correlation to my self-esteem levels, so I _really_ need to know.


	7. Ring of Fire

A/N: Sorry this chapter's so late. As I said before, I've been staying up past 2:00 am almost every night, trying to post chapters as soon as I finish them, and it was starting to wear me down. Also, I'm not happy with the first part of this chapter. I get this odd feeling that I was working too hard on it (they usually feel effortless, as if I'm being dictated to). I do like the ending though, but I suspect you won't. Not to worry, I'll have Chapter Eight up as soon as I can, and, as far as I can tell, this thing's far from over. I think this is my longest chapter so far, coming up to 2,069 words (not count a/n, disclaimer, warning or title).

**Ne'ith5: **Thanks. I didn't want this to be an endless sex-fest (not that those are bad), and I'm trying to focus on the emotional side of things. Also, I have to agree that the Jack/Ianto thing is getting pretty old. I want to see them get together, but, as far as season two of Torchwood goes, that doesn't seem likely. According to rumour, Jack is tipped to have a 'horny and violent' sexual encounter with a fellow time agent called Captain John, played by James Marsters (when they say 'horny and violent' does that mean there'll be bleeding, or will they just be really angry while they do it?). Anyway, no Jack/Ianto in the near future, from me or the show. As for giving you 'cliffies', well, don't expect that to end any time soon. Also, I'm a guy, I felt that I should tell you.

**SerenityJane: **Banzai! You got a mention! Cowabunga! Here's another. Excited?

**coffeemagic:** I hope you got your keyboard clean in time to read this, and,as far as choke/spraying your sandwich goes? I used to have this friend who would yell "DON'T BACKWASH!" _every single time_ I tried to take a sip of any drink. Being the juvenile person I was (am), I would laugh so hard that, more often than not, said drink would end up on the opposite wall. Eventually, I got over that _particular_ joke, but I always warn people not to tell any when I'm drinking. Most of the time, they do anyway, and get covered in coke for their efforts. SERVES THEM RIGHT.

**picky and paranoid: **I also love the word funtabulous (or did you mean _fan_tabulous?) And yes, you guessed correctly, I am astounded by your powers of perception. The fact that neither Doctor Who nor Torchwood have visted Canada is an absolute travesty, I'm literally angry with rage. Hopefully, that will soon be remedied (I'm sure they could do _something_ with maple syrup, it is the most versatile of all the condiments. I have yet to find another topping that goes so well on pancakes, for example. My experiments with ketchup and mustard were disastrous to say the least.)

**Amelia McDermid: **It is always good to meet a fellow Australian. Giveme a heads up when you post your Doctor Who story, and I'll be sure to read it (turnabout is fair play and all that.)

**DISCLAIMER: **I'm running out of ways to make this funny. Until such time as I am able to fly to the UK, break into BBC offices, poison Mr. Davies' water cooler, and convert his corpse into a cyber-suit of sorts (I have blueprints), I will have no legal rights to Torchwood whatsoever. If you're reading this Mr. Davies, you damn well better watch your back.

**WARNING: **Violence and a smidgeon of gay stuff. Oh, and one really _crappy_ title.

**SEVEN: RING OF FIRE**

Alex and the pale woman circled around each other like fighters in a ring. Or rather, like jungle cats, searching for an opening. Gwen opened her mouth, only to have Jack clap a hand over it, ignoring her muffled cries of indignation as he strained to catch the words being thrown back and forth between the two.

"Before you say anything," Alex warned the woman (more of a girl really, she was only a bit taller.) "I'm not coming back, so don't waste your breath."

"I've no intention of taking you back." The girl replied. Her voice was soft and sweet, but, like a razor blade in candy floss, the sharpness of her tone was difficult to ignore.

"We're on the same page then." Alex's tone betrayed no emotion. A long silence, then:

"You abandoned me." The words were clipped and curt.

"I wish I could say it wasn't personal," Alex shrugged. "But I'd be lying."

"You abandoned _us_."

"You surprised? You people are disgusting."

"Do you have _any_ idea" she paused "how much you hurt me?"

"You make it sound like we were dating; you tried to kill me, you psychotic bitch!"

"You had become a… liability."

"You mean because I have a brain, unlike you and the rest of the _brood_, that justifies attempted murder?"

"You deserted us."

"Again; you're surprised?"

"Deserters must die."

A sound akin to the cracking of a whip rent the air, and Alex stumbled, hand rising to his face as though he'd just been slapped. When his hand came away, Jack saw blood on Alex's fingers and his cheek, gleaming wetly under the streetlight. Alex tossed his head, causing blood to spatter on the pavement. In that same instant, _she_ reeled backwards, clutching her stomach, as though she had just been struck. Before she could retaliate, a simple motion from Alex's hand sent her to the ground.

Gwen lunged out from behind the dumpster, gun in hand. Jack yanked her back, causing her to fall across is lap in an undignified manner.

"What are you doing?" He whispered as loudly as he dared. "Trying to get yourself killed?"

* * *

Alex watched as the girl picked herself up, wiping away the blood from her split lip. 

"I forgot how strong you are." She had a note of admiration in her voice. "Not only did you deflect a killing strike, _my_ killing strike, no less, but you managed to get in two hits of your own. I'm impressed."

"I've been practicing." Without warning, Alex lunged, spinning into a roundhouse kick, stopping just short of striking his opponent. His leg was suspended, held in the grip of her cast-iron will. The pressure increased when he tried to pull away, threatening to crush his ankle.

"So it's come to blows, has it?" The girl asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I always did love the 'hands on' approach." Alex quipped through pain-clenched teeth. His foot was forcibly lowered to the ground. An open-palmed blow to his chest sent him flying backwards, into the lamppost. Coloured lights exploded in his skull.

"Very well, I shall indulge you."

* * *

Jack's eyes widened in amazement as the combatants exploded into a flurry of limbs. When Alex had fought against him in the hub, Jack noticed that his movements had been haphazard, and unpredictable. And Alex had moved rather lazily, as if beating them had taken next to no effort. Here, though, Jack could tell by the rigidity of his stance that he was maintaining precise control. No move was accidental. What kind of opponent was this woman, if a fighter like Alex needed to apply all his concentration? 

"Jack, we have to do _something_."

"What do you suggest?" Jack was only half listening. His eyes nearly popped right out of his skull when Alex dropped into a split, raising his arms above his head to catch his opponents hand as it struck downward, before rising up once more, into another kick. Even now, as he watched the boy fight for his life, he wondered what it would be like to have those legs wrapped around him. He was, in fact, so distracted by this previously un-witnessed, elegantly deadly side of the young man that he failed to notice that Gwen had slipped free of his grasp until, in a moment of monumental stupidity that seemed almost typical of her, she fired her pistol into the air.

* * *

Owen and Toshiko leaned against the hood of the SUV, watching the remaining few patrons exit the club, going their separate ways, some weaving back and forth across the road, giggling drunkenly. A shot rang out, echoing in the calm of the night. Looking to each other for confirmation, the pair dashed around the corner, Owen with his gun already in hand. 

The sight that greeted them was curious, almost laughable. Alex and an unfamiliar girl, covered completely in black, save for her face and hands, were staring at Gwen, who hand both her hands on her still-smoking gun, which was pointed in the air. After a moment of silence, Jack sauntered out from behind a dumpster, hands in his pockets, doing his best to convey the impression that giving away their position, leaving himself and the others wide open for attack, had all been part of his master plan, which Owen and Toshiko knew for a fact had gone something along the lines of 'go in and grab him, and hope he lets us lock him up again'.

Gwen lowered her gun, eyes wide, mouth opening and closing like a fish, with incoherent sounds emanating forth. It was the expression of someone who, in the heat of the moment, has done something very stupid, and knows that they will soon die as a result. It was the same face she had made when she had split open the meteorite, releasing the vapour-creature, and again, when she, along with the others, had mutinied, and opened the rift, releasing Abaddon.

* * *

After getting over his initial shock, Alex's insides churned with anger and fear. The anger was directed at Gwen, for being foolish enough to attract the attention of quite possibly the deadliest person ever. The fear was for what might happen to her as a result. Despite the way he had been treated by them, the Torchwood team had been some of the friendlier people he had met, and didn't deserve to meet the undoubtedly gruesome fate that awaited them. He did his best to look as though he'd never seen them before. Maybe, just _maybe_, if he could make _her_ believe they were uninvolved, she'd let them walk away alive. After a cursory glance at each member of the team, the girl turned her frigid gaze to him. 

"Friends of yours?"

Damn. She moved to take a step towards Gwen, flinching back as a wall of flames leapt up in front of her, spreading around in a circle, cutting both her and Alex off from the team.

"You're fighting me, remember?" Alex took a fighting stance, his eyes once again burning with the same fervour as the barrier that shrouded them from their spectators. She snarled, furious at being deprived of her kill. She leapt at him. Alex caught her first blow, but the second struck him square in the nose, sending him head over heels. Using the momentum, he landed on his hands before springing upright, distancing himself from her, forcing her to come to him.

She did so, swinging with her left. Alex ducked under the blow and moved around behind her. She pirouetted to face him, bringing her right hand around in a fist. Alex leapt back. Her knuckles grazed his chin. The pattern continued. Every punch or kick she dealt, Alex would duck under it, jump over it or dance around it. An outsider might have thought that the tactic was intended to make his opponent lose her cool, but Alex knew that was impossible. She was nothing but cool. Even now, surrounded on all sides by a raging inferno, she was barely sweating.

Finally, she hit him, as he knew she would, and he fell to the ground. He shoved his foot between her open legs and locked it around her ankle, putting her on her back with a sharp tug. Wasting no time, he leapt on her, straddling her waist. Without hesitation, he grabbed her head with both hands and slammed it brutally against the pavement. Twice.

She went limp.

Alex fell back on his haunches, panting. The smoke he had inhaled was impeding his lungs. With a wave of his hands, the flames were extinguished. It was taking all his strength not to slip into unconsciousness. He had barely eaten or slept in the last few days. That, combined with the rather energetic strip routine he had performed not even half an hour ago, had taken its toll. That fight had taken all he had and more. Every muscle ached, his brain was screaming for rest, his mouth was dry, painfully so. He wanted nothing more than to collapse on the ground and pass out. Forcing himself to sit upright, he took one more look at the prone form beneath him.

A knee slammed into the small of his back, sending him to the ground, sprawled on his stomach. Cruelly curved nails scratched his scalp as long, thin fingers twined themselves into his long hair and yanked him into a kneeling position. Alex could only let out a pained groan, his throat too hoarse for screaming. He felt numb all over, like he was frozen. The pain barely registered. He looked up, through red-rimmed, smoky eyes to see _her_, conscious, and still very much alive. Her eyes were not on him, but on Jack. She looked, for the first time in all the time Alex had known her, to be genuinely surprised. She looked down at Alex.

"Doesn't he look familiar to you?" She asked. Her questioning tone sounded genuine but, even in his borderline hallucinatory state, he could detect the menace underneath. Her free hand took Alex's chin in a vice like grip and forced him to look up, straight into Jack's eyes.

"Think very, very hard," she chanted in a sing-song voice, tilting Alex's unresisting head from side to side, like some sort of grotesque marionette. "Who does he remind you of?"

Whether it was his agonized, sleep-deprived mind that saw the resemblance or the mere fact that she pointed it out, he never knew. His eyes widened in disbelief. Jack did look _very_ familiar. Memories that Alex had successfully buried eons ago (or so it seemed now), were rising to the surface in a rush of emotion that choked him, made him feel physically sick. He looked up once more to see his captor, her eyes on Jack once more. Fear-fuelled adrenaline swamped Alex. He recognised the intent behind those eyes.

* * *

Jack stared at the girl, nonplussed. If he'd met her before, he would have remembered. He knew he wouldn't forget this encounter for a while, possibly his whole life (however long that was going to be). Her grey eyes darkened to the colour of storm clouds. Jack stood his ground, but eyed the girl warily. Her whole body seemed to tense up. Then he felt it, a presence in his mind, similar to what he had felt when Toshiko had tried to read his thoughts. This one was different though. Tosh's mind probe had been all over the place, scurrying haphazardly, and had felt almost ticklish. This one was more like a thrown dagger. 

Alex vanished from the girl's grip and appeared before Jack. The invasive presence was abruptly, and painfully, torn from Jack's mind. Alex's head snapped back, eyes wide, mouth open in a silent scream, arms flung out either side of him as though he had been crucified. Then his body crumpled into Jack's open arms, bearing him to the ground with the sudden weight. Jack's arms folded around the boy automatically.

The girl was gone. The only sign that anything had ever happened was the circle of blackened cement. Jack felt damp warmth seeping through his shirt, and gently pulled away from Alex, still cradling the boy in his arms. Blood had pooled in the corners of the boy's mouth, and twin crimson rivulets were trickling down his chin.

TBC

A/N: And there you have it. I don't want to ruin the next chapter for you but I think you deserve to know that Alex is NOT dead. Whether you're happy or furious about that is none of my business. Also, I realise Ianto hasn't been in the picture much, but that'll change soon.

Anyway, onto a rant about my latest peeve: 'Crocodile Dundee' movies. First of all, let me just say that CROCODILE DUNDEE MOVIES ARE NOT FUNNY. REPEAT; NOT FUNNY! I don't know where you people got the idea that they were. I'll tell you right now that no self-respecting Australian even watches Crocodile Dundee, let alone laughs at it. People seem to think they're an example of classic Aussie humour. Well, they're not. I once sat through a presentation on Crocodile Dundee in my 'Comedy and Satire' class. Not a single person laughed. Not even a smile. In fact, iconic Australian movies, such as 'Strictly Ballroom' and 'The Castle' aren't even classified as comedies (or at least, I wouldn't classify them as comedies) but they're still funnier than Crocodile Dundee. Long story short; Australians hate Crocodile Dundee, so should you. Also, what's with the Australian characters in American tv and movies? Those accents are _ridiculous_. We do NOT sound like that, I swear! And why are they always blond? (I realise I may be a bit hypocritical here, with my own character, but my point remains valid.) Also, we don't all surf (and I would never try to, personally I hate the beach). So next time you're watching 'Baywatch' reruns, or 'House' remember that that 'Australian' character is anything but. Olivia Newton-John's a bit iffy too, and Nicole Kidman and Kylie Minogue ditched us, so they don't count anymore.

Anyway...yeah. Chapter Eight up soon. See ya!

P.S. We don't say "g'day"either. At least, not _anymore_.


	8. Sleepover

A/N: Ha ha, I did it again, two in one day! And it's only 10:30! I'm not even tired! This chapter sees the return of Ianto, as well as the beginning of some angst and emotional conflict.

**Ne'ith5:** I'm really glad you liked the last chapter, fight scenes for me are really hard, because I don't have even a basic knowledge of any style of hand-to-hand combat, so I just try to make them sound really impressive, throwing in as many 'Matrix'-like moves as I can. I'm sorry if you thought my anger was directed at the American viewing public (I guess I should have been more clear). I'm REALLY angry at the idiots that _make_ those shows.

**Amelia McDermid:** Thanks for the vote of confidence. This is the first time I've ever shown my writing to strangers. (No matter how many people tell me how good I am, I never believe them, and am constantly seeking reassurance. I actually prefer it when someone finds something that could use work; I'm constantly trying to improve.)

**nauta jupiter: **Yeah...thanks. Next time you review could you, oh, I don't know, review? I appreciate the tips really, but would _prefer_ to know what you think of my fic.

**DISCLAIMER:** I'm working on a 'Disclaimer Rap' but for now, this will have to do: I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. In point of fact, the closest I have come this far is my purchase of a K-9 keyring. If I _did_ own Torchwood, Gwen would never have slept with Owen (gross! Can you imagine their _kids_? Yuck.) Ianto would have shot the Cyber-woman and he and Jack would have hooked up a lot sooner. Even though (or perhaps because? I'm kinda conflicted about this) they are both guys, they are still the hottest couple on the show

**WARNING:** Well, some _stuff_ goes on in this chapter. I don't know what you'd call it (one-sided foreplay, maybe?) Just...just consider yourself warned, okay?

**EIGHT: SLEEPOVER**

Jack pulled Alex close again, trying not to look into the glassy, unseeing eyes. He didn't know what that…thing in his head had been, but he knew it wasn't friendly. Alex had done something, pulled the mind-barb from him somehow. Jack felt heartsick, disgusted with himself for his own immortality. In order to save the life of someone who _couldn't_ die, a young man had given up his- was that a _pulse_?

Jack tilted Alex's head back and pressed two fingers to his neck, and was rewarded by the faint, yet insistent throbbing of the carotid artery. Every fibre of his body sang with relief. The guilt that had swamped him drained away, momentarily at least, before the realisation that, alive or not, serious medical attention was required. He lifted the boy bodily, arranging his head so that he wouldn't choke on the blood that was pooling in his mouth.

Wordlessly, Jack stood and walked to the SUV, taking care not to accidentally jar the catatonic figure in his arms. Once there, Jack waited for Toshiko and Gwen to sit in the back seat, before carefully laying Alex on top of them. Gwen said nothing, running her hand idly through Alex's hair, ignoring the blood that soaked into her jeans.

"We can't put him back in the cells," Toshiko said "not in this condition."

"Don't see why not," Owen interjected, ever the compassionate doctor "he's breathin', ain't he?"

"He needs proper medical attention!" she retorted "We owe him that much, after…" She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"Owe him? We don't owe him anything after he nearly got us killed!"

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Gwen interrupted frostily "but weren't we following him?"

"It's not his fault." Toshiko added. "If he wanted to, he could've left us to the mercy of that…thing." Jack said nothing, but the grim expression on his face spoke volumes.

"Besides," Gwen argued "he's just a boy."

"Yeah," Owen scoffed "a boy who can move things with his mind, or set them on fire. He's dangerous!"

Gwen looked down at the sleeping figure. He looked so fragile and small, compared to earlier, that she could hardly believe him capable of hurting anyone, even though she had seen it with her own eyes. Felt it, too.

* * *

Ianto looked up from an order form he had been filling out for photocopier ink when the door swung open and Jack stormed in, carrying a bruised and battered Alex. Owen and Toshiko were still bickering. Ianto found himself pulled to the side by Gwen, who told him the whole story, including a blow by blow account of the fight.

"Owen, with me" Jack barked, heading downstairs to the medical bay, followed by a grumbling Owen. Ten minutes later, Ianto risked a brief glance as he was doing the coffee rounds, and was silently horrified to see that, under his clothes, Alex was covered in bruises, and his knuckles were scraped raw. Jack didn't even look at Ianto, offering him a mumbled token of appreciation as he stared intently at the boy while Owen bandaged. Ianto would have normally been bothered by this but was himself too preoccupied with Alex to spare Jack a single thought. He reluctantly went upstairs to finish the order forms.

* * *

Half an hour later, he descended once more, coffee in hand to find them clustered around the surgical table, arguing just as they had been when Alex had first appeared, only a few days ago.

"I can't take him;" Gwen sounded apologetic "Rhys is still mad about last time."

"Me neither, my parents are staying over while their house is being fumigated." Toshiko sounded as though she would like nothing more than to get some private time with Alex, probably to conduct a few experiments to determine the extent of his abilities

"I'm not takin' him." Owen's tone was flat. It was clear that, even now, he had no sympathy for the boy.

"We can't take him to the hospital." Jack rested his chin on his hand, privately musing that he would be more than willing to let Alex sleep in _his_ bed, if only the boy was conscious, and willing to share. "They're starting to get suspicious." He looked up. "Ianto, you take him."

"Me, sir?"

"Why not? He likes you." Jack stood and took Alex in his arms once more. "C'mon, I'll help you carry him to your car." Ianto followed Jack upstairs, still protesting.

"But, sir-"

"Now, now, Ianto, no complaints; if you take good care of him, I'll get you that ant farm you wanted." Jack turned and flashed Ianto his cheesiest hero smile. His teeth actually sparkled. "And, if I know you," his voice took on a low, meaningful tone "you'll take very good care of him."

* * *

Ianto fumbled awkwardly with his keys, silently praying that none of his neighbours would see him with an unconscious teenage boy slung over his shoulders like a potato sack. Finally, he managed to get in, only to knock over a lampshade. Finally, he stumbled his way to the bedroom and dumped Alex unceremoniously on the bed, with a squeak of disapproval from the bedsprings.

Looking down at the boy, he found his hands suddenly itching to reach out and brush away the hair that covered his face. His eyes glided over the deceptively calm visage, to the parted mouth, now free of blood. His traitorous thoughts involuntarily wandered back to that morning, to the kiss. Kissing Alex had been nothing like kissing Lisa, which had always been frenzied and passionate, and the complete opposite of Jack, who had been forceful and dominating. Although Alex had initiated the kiss, he had been pliant and yielding, giving Ianto complete control, yet, at the same time, drawing him downwards, into a sort of oblivion, where he would have been happy to remain. And that, Ianto recalled gloomily, was without even using his tongue.

Forcing the memory to the back of his mind, Ianto moved to the foot of the bed and set to work removing Alex's sneakers. His deft fingers made short work of the laces, and soon both shoes were lying on the ground. Socks soon followed. As Ianto unthreaded Alex's belt, he found himself speculating what it would be like if the boy were awake, and doing the same to him. The jeans were soon added to the ever-growing pile. Ianto's hands lingered hesitantly over the boy's boxer shorts, before moving up to remove his jacket. Here, Ianto was forced to pull the boy the boy into a sitting position, with the head resting on his shoulders.

Without quite realizing it, Ianto found himself lingering with the jacket, savouring the warmth and weight of another body, a sensation that he had not experienced recently. His many trysts with Jack had been sweaty, cramped and uncomfortable, always in Jack's office, and usually lasting only as long as it took for them to both get off. The sex, in and of itself, was phenomenal, that was undeniable. But, more and more often of late, Ianto had found himself fantasizing, not about sex, but simply enjoying the warmth and comfort of another body, _any_ body. Well, maybe not Janet. As soon as he had the jacket off, Ianto was slipping his hand under Alex's t-shirt, tracing the lines of his abdominal muscles. For a teenager, he was in great shape. He pulled away sharply, leaving the still unconscious Alex to fall back on the bed with a soft thump.

"What am I doing?" Ianto scolded himself out loud, keeping his voice at a whisper, on the slight chance that Alex might wake up. "He's only seventeen, for fu- Christ's sake!" He turned away, running a hand through his close-cropped hair. '_So?' _a small voice in the back of his mind asked '_Seventeen is allowed_.' It actually sounded a bit like Jack. Shoving it into the back of his mind, Ianto turned and marched out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

A/N: Wow...I didn't actually know I could write this stuff, it sorta just happened. Probably won't be long now before I move on to writing some hardcore stuff (not in this fic, though). Actually, this whole chapter kinda just happened on it's own. I knew I wanted Alex to somehow be in Ianto's aprtment when he woke up, and then the blanks filled themselves in. Anyway, hope ya liked it (it's a far cry from my previous chapters, which were driven by humour and action). I'm gonna get to work on Chapter Nine, toodles!


	9. The Morning After

A/N: After the violence and angst of the last few chapters, this one sees a return to the light-hearted humour of my prievious work (ie. chapters 1-4) this is the sort of pattern my work tends to go in. Humour, violence & angst, humour, violence & angst, etc. If you ask me, this chapter borders on sickeningly fluffy, but, as I've said before, I have no real control over what I write. The story is doing this on it's own, I swear!

**Amelia McDermid: **As always, I'm glad you liked the previous chapter, this one's more of the same.

**Hazelayes: **I too feel that Ianto is underappreciated (having to constantly supply Jack with coffee and sex, though enjoyable, must be exhausting, even for a stud like him). As for my energy? Well, school got out a little while ago, and I just moved from Canberra to Melbourne last Sunday (which is a loooong way, by the way) so I have like, all this free time, and no friends to spend it with. And the honesty? I have _no_ idea, in fact, sometimes, I concoct elaborate lies for kicks! (I once told a friend that Jack the Ripper videotaped his crimes, and she _believed_ me. And I've lost count of the number of times I pretended to be _dying_.) And you're right, I am quite young, or at least, younger than most of the people reviewing this (I've checked their profiles). I turn eighteen on the twenty-sixth of December.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. Believe me, if I did, I certainly wouldn't be writing this. I'd be doing whatever Russel T. Davies is doing right now, which (since he's only writing one episode for season two), is probably nothing.

**WARNING:** Apart from a potentially lethal dose of fluff, probably nothing. Fluff-nausea can be easily treated with a dose of any of the following: Violence, Angst or Smut. If symptoms persist, consult your pharmacist.

**NINE: THE MORNING AFTER**

Sunlight streamed through the window, striking the partially open blinds and splitting into numerous tributaries. One such ray fell directly across Alex's face, penetrating his closed eyelids, causing searing light to explode in the dark recesses of his sleeping mind. He rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into a soft, cool pillow in an attempt to block out the unwelcome intrusion. His eyes snapped open as his brain suddenly realized what his body already knew. He sat up, struggling to recall the events of last night. His memory grew a little fuzzy towards the end, but he was pretty sure that downy softness had _not_ featured overmuch.

As an afterthought, he flung out an arm to either side of him, running them up and down the length of the bed, as far as he could reach. Nothing met his touch, save for the smooth glide of cotton sheets beneath his hands. Looking around him, he saw that he was, in fact, lying on _top_ of the bed, and, looking down at himself, that he was still clothed, to a degree. So, as near as he could figure, sex had not played a large role either. He let himself flop, boneless, back onto the bed, but was soon writhing restlessly, unable to relax enough to get back to sleep. With a sigh of defeat, he stood and walked across the room to a floor length mirror, taking in his appearance.

The cut across his cheek had already healed, with only a faint white line as proof it had ever existed. He peeled of his t-shirt, and saw that his torso was wrapped in tight bandages. Fumbling awkwardly behind his back, he set to work unwinding it, letting it coil around his feet like a snakeskin. Once done, he was pleased to see that whatever visible signs of injury he had sustained seemed to have faded completely.

"Outside looks good," he stretched his arms above his head before bringing them convulsively back down to clutch at his stomach "Inside, not so much." He turned away from the mirror and headed for the window, hoping to get some idea of his location. The view was truly spectacular; the entire city was laid out before him, like a board game. Already, the beginnings of an escape plan were beginning to materialize. He turned on his heel and padded across the carpet, taking care to avoid making any noise.

* * *

Ianto was woken from his fitful sleep by a heavy thud that reverberated through the floor. Groaning irritably, he swung his bare legs off the couch and shuffled to the bedroom, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his palms. His mind had been plagued with obscene images of Alex, flushed, needy, moaning and thrashing under him, eyes darkened by desire. That, combined with the fact that a small, two-seater sofa was not particularly conducive to peaceful slumber, had made for a very bad night indeed. He pushed the bedroom door open to see Alex, almost naked and on all fours, picking himself up off the floor. He looked up at Ianto, who suddenly became very aware that he, too, was only wearing boxers.

"Did I wake you?"

"Yes, actually." Ianto replied, too tired to be polite. The sight of Alex was enough to cause all those images to return, with a vengeance.

"Sorry about that," Alex grinned sheepishly, raking a hand through deliciously disheveled hair "I tripped over my shoes." He held one up as proof.

"Well, as long as you're okay, I'm going to go take a shower. Feel free to fix yourself something to eat." Ianto turned abruptly from the room.

* * *

Alex waited until he heard the squeaking of a faucet, followed by the rush rush of running water before he made his way out to the lounge/kitchen area, all thoughts of escape forgotton. White carpet, white couch, white walls, it hurt to look _anywhere_. A few feet from the couch was a mahogany coffee table, the only thing with any colour in it. Alex traced the pattern less chaos of the tabletop with his index finger, stopping when it made contact with a small photo frame. Picking it up, Alex took in the image of a casually dressed Ianto with a wide smile. The contrast was a bit of a shock, but not compared to the woman that photo-Ianto had his arms around.

Alex glanced around the apartment. It was definitely a single man's apartment. He had seen the apartments of enough single men in his young life to know one when he saw it. But the woman in the photo was definitely a girlfriend, no question. There was no way she could be mistaken for a relative. The relationship must be fairly new, Alex concluded, if Ianto had been willing to take him in for the night. But, if he had a framed photo of her, he must also care about her a lot.

"Ah well, plenty of fish, etcetera." Alex mumbled to himself, taking care to place the photo exactly how he'd found it. He was surprised to find that he wasn't nearly as disappointed as he might have imagined but, hey, compared to everything _else_ that was going on with his life, finding out his crush was taken was small bananas. And speaking of bananas, there was a rather enticing fruit basket sitting on the bench, not five feet away.

"Besides," Alex reminded himself aloud as he began peeling the biggest one he could find "if I get _really_ desperate, I could always- ooh, grapes!"

After satisfying his fruit cravings, Alex set about looking for something else. Anything that required actual _cooking_ was out of the question. Cooking was another thing that a kid like Alex was never taught. So…that ruled out pancakes, bacon, or any kind of eggs, which left…cereal. Hurrah. Not.

"C'mon, there's got to be _something_." Alex shut the fridge with a huff of disappointment, so absorbed in his search for food that he only saw the loaf of bread out of the corner of his eye. He paused. Bread. He could do something with that…toast! He remembered toast! Toast was easy; you just put bread in the toaster and toast came out, what could go wrong?

* * *

Ianto was standing in front of the mirror, toweling his hair when his ears were suddenly assaulted by a harsh, piercing wail. Cursing, he wrapped the towel about his waist and ran out into the lounge room. He was met by the spectacle of Alex standing on his coffee table, toying with the smoke detector in his ceiling. Ianto clapped his hands over his ears.

"What are you doing?" Ianto shouted.

"What?" Alex yelled back "I can't hear you!"

"I _said_" Ianto took a deep breath, cupping his hands around his mouth "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I STILL CAN'T-" The noise petered away with a distorted squeal as the smoke detector came away in Alex's hand "ah, that's better. Now, what were you trying to say?"

"Alex," Ianto sighed in resignation "what did you do?"

"I made toast," The boy replied, seemingly unable to comprehend the trouble he had caused "see?" Ianto looked at the plate Alex was holding.

"It's charcoal."

"Whatever," Alex dismissed Ianto's comment with a wave "I made it, and I'm going to eat it." Ianto snatched the plate from Alex before he could poison himself with benzopyrene.

"Sit there and don't move," Ianto pointed to the couch, Alex obeyed "I'll make us something." Ianto walked to the kitchen, dumping the 'toast' in the bin on the way. After a quick survey of ingredients, he turned back to Alex, who was having trouble sitting still. "How about an omelet?" He asked.

"That depends; what is it?"

* * *

Ianto watched Alex as he ate. The boy had cleaned his plate a while ago, and was on his second glass of milk. The sudden lack of fruit hadn't escaped his notice either; he made a mental note to buy more on the way home. The Welshman suppressed a shudder as Alex lowered the glass, revealing a newly grown milk moustache, and had to bite the inside of his cheek to suppress a moan when a moist, pink tongue flicked out to wipe it away.

"Well, thanks for that. I'll just get my clothes and get out of your hair."

"Huh?" Ianto had been too busy watching Alex's mouth to listen to what he'd been saying.

"I'm going to get dressed, and I'm going to leave." He enunciated clearly, as if speaking to a child.

"No."

"Whaddaya mean 'no'?" Alex demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Jack wants me to bring you back to the Hub."

"_Why_?"

"The supernatural is our business."

"I thought your business was aliens."

"That too." They stared at each other for a long time, neither one blinking.

"You realize I could kill you with out batting an eyelid?" Alex asked, just in case Ianto somehow failed to understand the predicament he was in.

"I did know that, yes." More staring.

"Can I at least _shower_ first?" Ianto inclined his head in agreement; Alex rolled his eyes before heading to the bathroom. "Fine."

TBC

A/N: Rejoice, my readers! The ordeal is over and, if you're reading this, you're one of the lucky few who survived. Don't feel obliged to review this _particular_ chapter, but I will gladly read any comments you're willing to throw my way. Seriously. I'm like a duck, whoring itself out for breadcrumbs. I need you to validate my worth as a person, no one else will do it! Not even my mother. If the reviews stop, I may very well kill something just to get attention! No pressure.


	10. Back to Work

A/N: Again, sorry so late. This chapter was quite tricky and, sadly, a little dull for me to work on. It's basically exposition; for those of you not familiar with the term, it means 'a part where nothing good happens, but you have to read it to know what's going on'. So, if you _don't_ want to know what's going on, feel free to skip this one (but leave a review anyway.) Thanks for being so patient.

**Amelia McDermid: **If you feel good, then I do to. Keep reading and reviewing, I need the boost.

**SerenityJane: **Please elaborate; do you want me to kill off Gwen's _character_? Or, do you want me to fly to Wales, track down Eve Myles and beat her to death with a plank with a nail in it? Personally, I believe she's been punished enough by being made to sleep with Owen. Not 'cause of guilt, but because the act in and of itself is so incredibly degrading. I mean, has she even _looked_ at him? He has all the looks, and none of the charisma of a bald rodent.

**coffeemagic: **Thank god! I was beginning to think you had succumbed to mad cow disease (whaddaya know? Stereotypes _are_ fun. Especially that one where all Brits are obsessed with 'Neighbours') And if you scroll down, you'll see my 'Disclaimer Rap'. I apologise in advance for the total crappiness of it. BTW, who're you callin' _missy_? I'll have you know I'm 100 male, and I have the deodorant and face-razor to prove it!

**Kazz the 13th:** Thanks! I've noticed that OC's tend to be irritatingly twee and 'Mary Sueish', and I've been doing my best to avoid that. It's nice to think I've succeeded. I'm not a big fan of JackxGwen myself, but whatever floats your boat! To be honest though, in this fic, Jack and Ianto _are_ together in a 'not together' sort of way, but share a mutual interest in Alex (and who can blame them? I made him hot for a _reason_.) I hope that doesn't dissuade you from reading this.

**Elodus: **Two new reviewers! Yay! You've just made my day! I hope this is soon enough for you (I usually get them up faster than this.)

**picky and paranoid:** Yeah, school can be a bitch. Don't feel obliged to review (although I do love your fun facts) unless you want to. I'll go back and fix that apostrophe mistake soon (but not now, my connection's kinda slow, so I'm only coming online to read reviews and upload new chapters). Also, I've been inspired by your fun factoids! From now on, I'm going to put a fun fact about Torchwood at the beginning of each chapter.

**DISCLAIMER RAP **(dedicated to **coffeemagic**, who forced me to actually go through with this sin against nature. It's more of a poem, really)

_Copyright, in its general interpretation_

_Is the 'rights to copy' original creation_

_said rights tend to be of limited duration_

_(but usually last at **least** a generation.)_

_You can copyright movies, poems & plays_

_paintings & dances (like ballets)_

_Musical compositions, __Audio recordings_

_Sculptures, drawings_

_software, photographs_

_television broadcasts_

_(now we come to the important part)_

_Torchwood, a program of some note,_

_(on which us fans do tend to dote)_

_Does not belong to you or me,_

_But to R.T.D and the B.B.C._

_So we console ourselves by writing ficcies,_

_Which, in themselves, can be quite tricky_

_'Cause to avoid getting sued to Kingdom Come,_

_We have to slap a disclaimer on!_

_So even though copyright law is crap,_

_I'm sittin' here, doin the 'disclaimer rap',_

_Now sit back, relax, enjoy the fic,_

_And Russel T. Davies? **SUCK THIS, BITCH!**_

So, whatta ya think?

**WARNING:** Once again, very little to worry about here. If this continues, I might as well bump this down to K+.

**FUN FACT:** Aside from Captain Jack, Toshiko Sato is the only Torchwood character to feature in Doctor Who so far (in the season one episode 'Aliens of London'). Eve Myles also appeared in Doctor Who, as the chamber maid Gwyneth in 'The Unquiet Dead'. There are a few others, but not as important.

**TEN: BACK TO WORK**

Alex had been silent for the entire car ride, and was now striding purposefully towards the Hub, not daring to look back at Ianto, for fear of the dripping wet, towel-clad images that would leap, unbidden, into his head. When he reached the door, finding it locked, he immediately reached out with his mind, and was soon rewarded with a sharp click as it swung open to admit him.

"Could you at least _wait_?" Ianto yelled, running to catch up with him.

"Oh god, that voice." Alex whimpered. Why did it affect him so badly? He hadn't even known the man for a week!

"What?"

"Nothing!" Alex squeaked, trying not to look as Ianto leaned over the desk to press the button that would allow them to enter the inner echelons of Torchwood Three. Why was everything so hard? No, not hard, difficult! Why was everything so _difficult_? Not hard.

The lift opened. Alex stepped in, silently surrendering himself to roughly seventeen seconds of acute torture. Merely being this close to Ianto caused tremors of guilty pleasure to run up and down his spine, and he couldn't even glance at the crisp, pressed lines of his suit without imagining how much better it would look on the floor. Had anyone ever had sex in this elevator? Best not to think about it…too late.

* * *

Ianto and Alex finally emerged to find Jack and the others already seated at the conference table.

"Tick tock, tea boy." Owen sneered, tapping his watch emphatically. Ianto looked as though he might retaliate, but thought better of it and walked upstairs, to the kitchen, clenching and unclenching his fists. Jack pulled out a chair for Alex, who took it without looking at him. Owen's own chair spontaneously collapsed underneath him, trapping him in the snarled metal frame. As he extricated himself, the others all turned to Alex, who shrugged.

"What? I didn't do it."

"Then what did?" Owen demanded, from his unseen position on the floor.

"Karma?" Alex suggested as Owen used the table top to claw his way into a standing position "or maybe you're just clumsy." He finished as Owen's hands slipped on the smooth glass table top, causing him to fall back down.

"I – am – not – clumsy." Owen panted; face red from a combination of breathlessness and rage. Ianto returned, bearing a tray of steaming mugs. He stopped and stared at the intricate mesh that had once been Owen and his chair.

"What happened here?"

"Karma." The others replied, drowning out Owen's faint squeak of 'the brat'.

"Okay," Alex folded his hands and placed them on the table, exuding an air of solemnity. "I assume you guys want some information about that girl you saw me with last night."

"That would be nice." Jack prompted. Alex nodded, but still refused to even glance in Jack's direction. Even having him this close caused the taunting voice to return. '_Doesn't he look familiar to you?_' Alex forced it to the back of his mind, taking a calming breath. After narrowly avoiding being killed by his attacker, he supposed they deserved to know what was going on.

"Her name is Nina." Alex looked around the table "She has the same abilities as me, and she's not the only one." Toshiko opened her mouth, only to have Alex raise a hand in her direction, preempting her "If you've been watching the cell footage, you'll know that I said I was one of a kind, which is true, technically."

Alex paused, waiting for someone to say something. When it became evident that no comments or questions were forthcoming, he continued.

"In most cases, the psychokinetic abilities make themselves known during infancy, within one or two months of birth. When that happens, people come and take the children to the Institute."

"What people?" Toshiko asked, taking down notes on her laptop as Alex spoke.

"I have no idea." Alex spread his hands wide, in the same manner of a magician showing an audience his empty sleeves. "Just people; I don't know whether they're government based, or privately owned." He paused before going back to his story. "I was a 'late bloomer'. By the time I started to display any unusual abilities, I was already five years old."

"Why is that important?" Ianto asked. Alex was the only one who didn't jump at the sound of his voice, the only one who had been aware that Ianto was even still there, listening.

"Mental conditioning," Alex pointed to his head to illustrate "they get the kids in their formative years, before they can walk or talk. Then they start 'taming' them; sleep-learning, drugs, that sort of thing. Make it so the kids never think to question anything the Institute says or does. Then, when they get older, they train them in using their abilities, and how to fight."

Alex swallowed nervously; just talking about this was clearly upsetting him. Gwen placed a hand over his. The small gesture seemed to comfort him somewhat

"By the time they found me, though, it was too late. They already knew from previous experiments that the conditioning wouldn't take, so instead, they told me that my parents didn't want me anymore." Alex's voice faltered when he said this, and he trembled slightly. The waves of anger rolling off him made the others think twice about touching him. After taking a brief moment to compose himself, he continued.

"They did their best to make it so I would never want to leave. They gave me everything I wanted, whenever I asked: toys, games, books, all my favourite foods, and I was never lonely. Getting me to go along with the rest was easy; they simply told me that I was special, and they wanted to help me get stronger. I loved my powers, and wanted to use them all the time. I was more than willing to do what they asked."

* * *

"When did that stop?" Jack asked, finding himself oddly compelled to hear the rest of Alex's story.

"When I was eight, they introduced me to the others or, at least, the ones my own age. They had decided to put us in pairs; partners or something."

"Why?"

"Isolation, combined with the stress placed on the brain by the extra-cranial faculties, will eventually lead to psychosis." Alex drawled sarcastically, sounding as though he were quoting someone else. "Or, at least, that was the current working theory. We're the first batch to survive to anything even approaching adulthood, so I guess it's true. Nina was my partner." Alex finished, before anyone had the chance to ask how, many 'batches' had preceded his.

"Why are they here, trying to kill you now?" Toshiko asked.

"A few years ago, I found out that they were training us to be killers, assassins, whatever you want to call it. They're own private army." His eyes smouldered with restrained fury "I couldn't believe it when I found out. I wanted to help people, not hurt them. So I started making plans. About thirteen months ago, I decided was ready to escape. I tried to sneak out during the night, Nina caught me, we fought, and I won. Ever since then, I've been running."

"Why come to Wales?" Alex looked up at the sound of Owen's voice. It was clear from his tone that he was resentful. As far as he was concerned, Alex had caused nothing but trouble.

"My dad's here somewhere." Alex struggled to get the words out, as though his throat were constricted "After I was taken, there was a media circus. People accused my parents of killing me and hiding my body. They were eventually cleared of all charges, but their marriage suffered. My mother stayed in Australia and married again, not long after the divorce. She has two sons, twins. They're only a couple of years younger than me." His voice betrayed the hurt and anger seething within him. Jack wondered if Alex had actually contacted his mother, or if he had made do with whatever information he could glean from newspapers and the internet. "My dad moved back to Wales, to get a fresh start, that's all I know."

It was as though all the noise had been sucked out of the room, leaving a vacuum of silence. Jack watched Alex's bowed head. The boy had been unable to meet his eye since he walked in this morning. When he looked up, his face was blank, devoid of all expression.

"Can we take a break now? I'm a little hungry."

"Uh, yeah, s-sure," Jack stammered, suddenly awoken from idle speculation over which one of his parents the young man resembled most. "Yeah, sure, let's have some lunch; pizza alright with everyone?"

As the rest of the table mumbled their concurrence, Ianto stood and made his way to the exit. It was his job, after all.

"I'll come with you," Alex offered, unexpectedly, hurrying after him.

A/N: And there you have it. Just so you know, I'm considering writing a sequel (maybe a trilogy) when this is finished, but I won't bother unless I know someone's gonna read it. So if you want to a see a sequel, give me a heads up, and I'll start thinking up ideas. Buh-bye!


	11. Mind Games

A/N: I feel like such an idiot. I just went back and looked at Chapter Ten, and the way I left it gives the impression that this story is over, which it is _not_. I hate when other authors don't finish their work (unless they died, in which case I'm still angry, but try to sympathise). God, how much would it suck if I left the story like that? I mean 'they encounter villain, one character almost dies, they talk a lot, go get pizza, the end.' Hardly makes for an emotionally satisfying conclusion, am I right? Yes, I have passed the midway point, and this story will be wrapping up soon enough, but, thanks to all the positive reviews (the most for a single chapter so far) I have decided to go along with the sequel, and am thinking of a third, but after that, no more. Trilogys are good, anything more than that is pushing your luck (looking at YOU, J.K. Rowling). I have some big ideas for the next part of what I am now calling the 'Insanity' story arc (catchy, ain't it?) and I'm not sure where they'll lead, but hopefully somewhere good. I will stop rambling like a hobo...now.

Again, not a lot happens in this chapter, but bear with me, I'm leading up to something good, I swear. Several somethings, in fact.

**Amelia McDermid: **I'm glad you like the sound of the enigmatic 'Institute' because it will be a recurring thorn in the sides of the Torchwood team.

**Hazelayes: **I'm insecure like you wouldn't believe, I say as much in almost all my A/Ns. Also I have several other serious issues. Currently, my biggest one his the fact that, since moving to Melbourne, my only friends are the faceless cyber-surfers whose names I don't even know and only keep contact with through fanfiction. After this, I think I'll go cry for alittle while...and now I'm back.

**coffeemagic:** I'm glad you liked the 'Disclaimer Rap' (statistically, I suppose _someone_ had to) but I'm afraid I've reached my peak, funny disclaimer-wise, I'm totally out of ideas! I'm sure something will come to me in time...

**picky and paranoid: **No, the story's still going strong (even though I am staying up past 1:00 am to post it), you have nothing to worry about. BTW, who can resist the pasta and dairy perfection that is macaroni cheese? Not me, that's for damn sure.

**Night-Owl123:** I hope this update is soon enough for you, and have no fear, there _will_ be a sequel (even if I have to pit all my plot ideas against each other in a deadly battle royale just to pick one).

**wolfbane dagger:** First of all, your name is AWESOME and second...no, that's it. Enjoy Chapter Eleven!

**prettygirl001:** How could I refuse such a desperate plea? And in such _big_ letters.

**Citrine Teardrop: **Things _are_ getting pretty tense, and something's gonna give eventually... There won't be anything too graphic in this story (though I may fill in the blanks with a oneshot or two) and if you're upset by the lack of Jack/Ianto, have no fear; there's plenty of Ianto for everyone, and I'm sure Alex and Jack are more than capable of sharing. In fact, I'm starting to get ideas...

**DISCLAIMER:** On my wall, I have a 'Magic List of Things I Own' and everytime I acquire a new posession, it is magically added to the list (hence the word 'magic' in the title) and every morning, when I wake up, I run over to it to see if 'Torchwood and all Torchwood related products' has appeared on it during the night and y'know what? It _never_ has. Funny that...

**WARNINGS: **Unless your one of those total nutter-butters who believes that everything WITHOUT the words 'holy' 'Christ' or 'bible' is automatically affiliated with Satan, then you got nothing to worry about. But if you _are_ one of those people, you better turn off your computer now, 'cause every second you spend on this website, you're defiling your soul. Or you could see if there are any 'Touched By An Angel' fanfics, I hear _those_ are pretty uptight and self-righteous.

Technically, this one's about Doctor Who, but who cares, _really_?

**FUN FACT: **Jack Harkness was the first of the Doctor's companions to be anything other than straight (on screen, anyway). Mickey, Rose's boyfriend, was the first black companion and Martha Jones is the first female black companion. What took so long?

**ELEVEN: MIND GAMES**

Toshiko watched Alex closely as she set up her laptop, and checked to make sure the Hub's CCTV cameras were working. He sat at the small table she had cleared for him, staring intently at the glass of water placed on it. She had asked for a demonstration of his abilities, and he had eagerly agreed. He was obviously proud of what he could do, and was more than happy to show off. She was a little curious about the glass of water, but would happily comply with anything he requested in exchange for this display. She sat across from him, watching him intently.

"These are just simple exercises," Alex explained, looking up at her "part of basic training. They may not look very impressive to you, but it's supposed to be about control, not power. What do you want to see first?"

"Um," Where to start? In the short time she had known him, she had seen Alex do several amazing things "Just some telekinesis, please."

"Telekinesis it is." Alex placed his hand flat on the table, fingers splayed. When he lifted it, the glass echoed his movements, rising at the same speed, until it was level with his hand. Then, as he tilted his hand, the glass tilted with it. The water sloshed to the rim of the glass, but not a single drop spilled over. He then tilted his hand the other way; again, the glass obeyed. Then, he began rolling his wrist in small circles, and the glass spun in mid-air. He lowered his hand, and the glass returned to the tabletop as though it had never been disturbed.

"Moving a solid object, like a glass or a rock requires minimal effort." Alex placed his hand over the glass, curling his fingers into claws. As he pulled back, the water followed his hand, floating free of the glass in a translucent orb. Small ripples pulsed through it, marring the otherwise smooth surface. "Liquids, on the other hand" Alex continued, ignoring Toshiko's wide-eyed wonder "require more concentration in order to maintain surface tension. Gases are harder still."

Alex's hands weaved complicated patterns through the air, and the water mirrored them, expanding from an orb into a long, thin line, gliding through the air in loops and spirals.

"It looks like you two are having fun." Jack's voice cut through the silence. Alex gasped as though he had been struck, and the glistening figure eight he had been conducting collapsed to the table with a splash, spreading across the table in a puddle. Toshiko looked from the doorway in which Jack stood, back to the young man, who had his hands on his knees and had developed a sudden interest in his own shoes.

"How are things going?" Jack asked, completely oblivious to the disruption he had caused.

"Fine, fine" Toshiko answered, only half listening. She turned back to Jack, bewildered.

"How about you," Jack glanced at Alex "got everything you need?" Alex nodded silently, but continued to stare at the floor. An awkward silence blanketed the room. Jack slapped a heavy hand against the doorframe. "Okay, I'll let you get back to it, then." As his footsteps faded away, Toshiko turned back to Alex. It was true that he didn't seem to like Jack very much, but he'd had no problems expressing his dislike before, why now?

"Are you alright?"

"What?" His head jerked up, he seemed surprised, as if he had been woken abruptly. "Oh, yes." With a simple flick of his wrist, the water leapt up from the table, curving in a graceful arc, back into the glass. "After a certain amount of practice, telekinesis can be used to speed up the naturally occurring atomic vibrations in a substance, to generate heat." As Alex spoke, wisps of steam rose from the glass, and it was now beginning to bubble furiously as it approached boiling temperature. "It can even reach the point of ignition, if the substance is combustible, hence the term 'pyrokinesis'."

Toshiko pulled her eyes away in order to type, when she looked back; the water was no longer boiling. Beads of water were condensing on the glass, and frost was forming on the surface, spreading downward in icy tendrils.

"Cryokinesis is the same principle, in reverse. By slowing down atomic vibrations, it is possible to cause cold or freezing. Teleportation is simply the use of telekinesis to instantaneously travel from one point to another…" Alex's chair was suddenly empty "like so." Toshiko jumped as she felt warm breath on her neck; she turned to see Alex standing behind her. Her gaze followed him as he walked back to his side of the table, picked up the glass, poured the contents onto the floor and brought it down on the edge of the table, smashing it into several pieces. He took the largest one and brought it down on the palm of his other hand, scoring a line down his palm. Blood welled up and dripped down his forearm as he held up the hand for Toshiko to examine.

"Why did you do that?" She asked, trying not to sound too shocked.

"By manipulating the molecules in my own body, I can accelerate the healing process." Alex wiped the bloody hand on his pants and held it up again for her to see. Aside from the smear of red, there was nothing to indicate that any harm had been done. "It takes the nervous system a while to catch on, so it still hurts for a little while afterwards. After enough practice, it kicks in automatically, which is why I'm walking around so soon after Nina put me in that coma. I can even use it to heal other people, but I need physical contact."

"When you escaped," Toshiko reminded him "I tried to tackle you and you put up a sort of…wall"

"That one's a bit tricky to explain. In layman's terms, it's just a matter of creating a 'bubble' of psychic energy; I don't really know the techno-babble to describe it properly. Now, onto object deformation;" Alex bent down, picking up the shards of glass as he spoke "it's basically that spoon-bending stuff you see on television, except its, y'know, real. It's a lot more complicated than just melting something; that just makes a mess. Object deformation is about taking the _shape_ of an object…" he paused and stood up, brushing the hair out of his face, the glass pieces were collected in one hand "and changing it into another." He cupped his hands around the broken glass, pulling them away a split-second later to reveal a glass sphere, only slightly bigger than a golf ball, in the palm of his hand. "_Voila!_"

He placed the sphere in Toshiko's hand; she brought it to her face, inspecting it all over, as if she were looking for a button that would turn the sphere back into a glass. Finally, she put it back on the table, where it rocked gently from side to side.

"Is that everything?" She asked, sounding hopeful. "What about self-levitation?" Alex shook his head.

"Completely impossible, believe me, I've tried; it's like trying to carry yourself in a bucket. I do have _one _more trick up my sleeve, though," Alex flashed a coy smile in her direction "thought-form projection."

"What's that then?"

"A physically perceived person, animal, creature, object, etcetera, created in the mind and projected into three-dimensional space, where it can be observed by others."

"Like an illusion?" Alex shook his head again.

"Similar, but not quite the same. An illusion would be the creation of an image by manipulating light particles which, as far as I know, is also impossible. Thought-form projection is about taking an image from the mind, and making it _real_, for a little while anyway; it requires constant concentration."

"What can you make?" Toshiko asked, leaning forward, wide eyes magnified by her glasses.

"Pretty much anything I want," was the reply "except for abstract concepts, 'cause they don't look like anything. Oh, and the bigger and more detailed they are, the harder it is too keep going. I _could_ make a skyscraper, but only for like, a millisecond." A black cat flickered into existence on the table. Toshiko reached out carefully and stroked its back, surprised to find that it did not instantly vanish into a puff of smoke. The feline purred contentedly as it arched into her touch, sending vibrations down her arm.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, the cat melted into nothingness. Toshiko looked up to see that Alex had stopped paying attention, and was now watching the doorway with a wary eye. Jack appeared once more.

"Are you two about done here?" He asked.

"Yes." Toshiko replied. Alex merely nodded.

"Good. Alex, I'd like a word with you; in private." Jack turned and walked out of view. With a heavy sigh, Alex pushed back his chair and tailed after him, seeming to drag his feet.

TBC

A/N: So...tired...must post before...sleep...review or else...Zzzzzzzzzzzz...


	12. The Talk

A/N: I'm finally getting back into the swing of things with my usual daily updates. I hope I can keep it up. I know you all keep lavishing me with praise, but I can't helpbut feel that by now, you _must_ want to see some action. Well, the next few chapters will be mostly action, if all goes as planned (as I've mentioned before, the story tends to get away from me and do its own thing). Unfortunately, before you get to see any action, you have to put up with more talking (hence the name of this chapter). I just wanted to get Alex's issue with Jack out into the open, so we can have some character growth, or whatever.

**coffeemagic:** Hmm...I must be funnier than I thought. I'll try to keep it up.

**picky and paranoid: **Yes, I thought so. Australia is _mostly_ desert, with smatterings of rainforest here and there. In fact, aside from the state capitals, and the scattered outposts dotted about the place, Australia is mostly hostile, barren, uninhabitable wilderness...oh, and uranium mines.

**Amelia McDermid: **I read your story earlier today and enjoyed it thoroughly, though I too must ask "Why Adelaide?" (I've never been, but have been told that it's pretty dull.)

**Kazz the 13th: **Ianto and Alex are definitely going to hook up, and it's gonna be soon, I promise (though, as I said, nothing too graphic). As for your second question. I must say the possibility never even entered my mind, though now, looking back, it seems like the obvious conclusion. Ah well, I try not be too obvious and I hate that whole 'Jack has a child' plot device anyway, especially combined with Mpreg which is just sick and wrong (where does the baby come out? For that matter, where is it stored _before_ it comes out? There's no womb, you retards! Men don't have ovaries!) Of course it is entirely possible that Jack _could_ have a child (though you'd think he'd take his responsibilities as a father more seriously). In this chapter, you'll find out why Alex has been so quiet around him lately.

**wolfbane dagger:** In answer to your question: a little from column 'A', a little from column 'B'. Characters with psychokinetic powers are _everywhere_ in fiction, particularly fantasy and sci-fi (I'm surprised Torchwood didn't do it already). I did look up psychokinesis on Wikipedia, so I would be able to explain it better, and that was where I found a list of 'powers' commonly associated with psychokinesis. From there, I simply chose which ones I wanted, and which ones I didn't.

**DISCLAIMER:** I was feeling lazy, so I got Master Yoda to write it out: 'Own Torchwood, I don't. Merely a puppet, am I.' Except for the part about me being a puppet, it's _totally_ accurate.

**WARNING:** Mentions of underage same-sex intimacy (kissing). If you've gotten this far, and you suddenly feel squeamish? Well boo-freakin'-hoo. It's not like I've tied you to a chair and rigged up a retina-scanning, genital-elecrocuting device that _forces_ you to automatically read it! Although...

**TWELVE: THE TALK**

Alex eventually caught up to Jack, who was sitting on a bench outside, now wearing his RAF jacket, which he had taken from the coat rack on his way out. Alex felt awkward, standing there, staring at the cracks in the pavement. _Doesn't he look familiar to you?_ Jack patted a hand on the bench.

"Care to join me?" he asked.

"I was thinking 'bout it, until you put your hand there." Alex quipped. Jack moved his hand and Alex, who now had no excuse, sat beside him. They watched pedestrians come and go in companionable silence. Jack spoke once more.

"So, I noticed you've become a little skittish around me," Jack began. Alex cringed, had it really been that obvious? "Now, it's perfectly natural for you to feel this way, especially about me; most people do." Now Alex was confused. What was he talking about? Then it dawned.

"I do _not_ have a crush on you, Captain Jack-off!" Alex retorted turning and punching the older man in the arm with all the strength he could muster. Jack rubbed his shoulder.

"That is going to leave a bruise. What's with all the violence? I was _kidding_, jeez! Fuck that smarts!"

"You deserved it," Alex muttered, unrepentant "always making stupid jokes. No wonder everybody hates you."

"What everybody?"

"Just…everybody," Alex spread his arms to indicate the astronomical quantity of hatred "past, present and future." There was more silence.

"It's what she said isn't it?"

"'She' who?" Alex asked, knowing very well who Jack was talking about, but determined to be stubborn.

"That girl, Nina," Jack insisted "she said I looked familiar. Who was she talking about?"

"Would you back off if I told you it was none of your business?"

"No."

"How very American of you." Alex rolled his eyes and leaned back, running a hand through his long hair. "I might as well tell you then. You remember earlier, I told you I didn't meet any of the other kids at the 'Institute' 'til I was eight?"

* * *

"Yeah, I remember." Jack replied, thinking he was unlikely to ever forget.

"Well, there was this boy. A late bloomer, like me; his name was Sam. He was the only one I could get to play with me after training. None of the others were interested; I don't think they'd ever even heard the _word_ before." Alex sighed "we ended spending all our free time together, making up games, planning how we were going to escape."

"Back to your parents?" Jack asked, smiling faintly at the images Alex painted of himself as a child. They were difficult to reconcile with the hot-tempered, hard-bodied youth that sat next to him. Alex shook his head.

"No, we thought our parents had forgotten us by now. We were going to find someplace where we could be alone, like a desert island; just the two of us. Every day we would sit and talk for hours about where we would go, what we would do, that sort of thing."

"When did you kiss him?" Jack asked, rather abruptly. Instead of the outraged outburst he had been expecting, Alex chuckled.

"That obvious, huh?" He paused "Actually, _he_ kissed me. We were just talking and next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. I think I was…thirteen? Yeah, that sounds right. I think Sam had just turned fourteen."

"Thirteen?" Jack was surprised "That's a little young to start experimenting with sex, even for me." Alex shrugged.

"We didn't _know_ about sex; straight, gay, or any of those things. It's one of the many things we _weren't_ told. I guess they didn't want, or expect us to procreate. I asked him why he kissed me and he said something along the lines of 'well, isn't that what you do when you like someone?' I said yes, I supposed it was, and then I kissed him back."

"Then what happened?" Jack thought he already knew, and was afraid, yet determined, to find out.

"Well, we went on like that for a year, using all our free time to find private places where we could, well…yeah. Nina kept getting angry at me; she wanted to use our free time to practice training exercises. I don't think she knew what we were up to, but I know she resented Sam. As far as she was concerned, I was her property." Alex slumped in his seat, eyes hidden behind a shroud of hair. "Then one day, about a year later, he didn't show up for training. Or the day after that, or the day after that; it was three weeks before I finally realized he wasn't coming back, and that I was on my own." Alex looked down at his hands "You look like him. That's what Nina meant when she said you were familiar."

"Is that why she tried to kill me?" Jack asked. Alex looked up at him, mouth hanging slightly open. He shook his head, as if to dispel the questions in his head before answering.

"Yeah, probably; she couldn't stand him. Nina's the type of person who would reach into your mind and switch it off, just because she didn't like your face."

"Is that what she tried to do to me?" Alex nodded mutely.

"Did you love him?" Alex shrugged.

"I don't know, maybe."

"Do you think he escaped?"

"It doesn't seem likely." Then another long pause "I _can't_ believe I didn't see it before now. The resemblance, I mean. It's like looking at him, only older. You have the same eyes, the same hair…except he combed his, of course. "

* * *

"What's wrong with my hair?" Jack demanded petulantly, pouting his lower lip.

"You look like you just woke up." Now that the deep dark secret was finally revealed, Alex felt…lighter, freer. Being with Jack didn't distress him even half as much as it had mere moments ago, if at all.

"I'll have you know this hair is the result of several minutes of preparation."

"Now that's just _sad_." Alex laughed, stood and walked in the direction of the Hub. "C'mon, let's go back; the others are probably wondering why we took so long." The setting sun had tinged the sky with lurid streaks of pink, orange and bruise-purple. The Roald Dahl Plass was now nearly deserted, the short lapse between the end of the working day and the influx of the night crowd. Alex had walked several metres before he realized Jack wasn't following him. He turned back.

"C'mon, Jack!" He called out as he approached "The sunset isn't _that_ good, and you can watch it the same time tomorrow." No response, the man didn't even budge. "Jack?" As he got closer, the gnawing worry in his gut increased. Now, standing a foot away, he could see that Jack's eyes were glassy and unsighted, and his trademark smirk was fixed, unmoving. Alex reached out to touch Jack's face, only to recoil, as the flesh that met his fingertips was firm and cold. His eyes darted to Jack's neck. There, half-hidden by the high collar of his coat was…something...

Slowly, and with some effort, Alex managed to work the object free without breaking it. He examined it closely. A small glass cylinder, hollow, one centimetre long, five millimetres wide, rounded at one end. The other end had three tiny, needle-like barbs protruding from it in triangular formation. Alex pressed them against his finger, taking care not break the skin. They were sharp, extremely so.

"What the fu-" A sharp sting in the nape of his neck was the last thing he felt before the dark void rose up to claim him.

TBC

A/N: Am I the suspense-king or what. Seriously though, this fic has covered a time-span of about six days, so far, and Alex has been knocked unconcious a total of FOUR times! (I'm counting the unseen fall down the elevator shaft.) Four times in six days? Man, talk about a rough week...Anyway, it's just hit midnight. I PITY DA FOOL WHO DOESN'T REVIEW! You heard Mister T. Review or else I'll send him to wherever you live, to _tickle_ you to death (I don't advocate violence).


	13. Caged

A/N: Well, I promised you action and...failed to deliver (please don't hurt me!) HOWEVER, things are moving along plotwise, and the action will most definitely be coming _very_ soon. Since it's only 3:00 in the afternoon (my time, not yours) I'm gonna try and get the next chapter posted later today (I've already started it, so it shouldn't be hard)

**Amelia McDermid:** Heh...whoops! I'm sure Adelaide is a lovely place to live. Enjoy Chapter Thirteen.

**Kazz the 13th: **I'm glad to see that someone agrees with me that there are some things men cannot do, and should not attempt. If you liked the Jack/Alex banter in Chapter Twelve, then you're in for a treat.

**picky and paranoid: **Everybody's ticklish _somewhere_ and, if necessary, I can be _extremely_ thorough. I myself have never known the joy of an ice rink, but, as far as I'm concerned, nothing beats sliding across a hardwood floor in your socks (is there a purer pleasure? I think not! Unless you add maple syrup...)

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Torchwood. Deal with it; I have.

**WARNING:** There's some swearing. 'F' and 'B' words specifically. Other than that, you're pretty much in the clear. Oh, and a few subliminal messages, but don't worry, they won't make you hurt _yourself_...

**FUN FACT:** Gareth David-Lloyd, the actor who portrays Ianto, met his girlfriend, fellow actress Sara Lloyd-Gregory while working on Torchwood (specifically the episode 'Day One', in which she played Carys, the unfortunate host to the sex-gas parasite). I can't help but wonder: if they get married, will she use _both_ surnames? Imagine having to introduce yourself as Mrs. David-Lloyd-Lloyd-Gregory...now try to imagine it without laughing. I can't.

**THIRTEEN: CAGED**

It was Gwen, after checking her watch for the umpteenth time, who voiced what the others were thinking.

"It must be pitch-black outside by now, shouldn't they be back already?"

"Alex seemed pretty upset," Toshiko pointed out "maybe he just needs more time to calm down."

"Yeah," Owen let out a mirthless snort "and we all know how 'calming' the captain can be." This earned him a punch in the back from Gwen. "What?" he cried indignantly "Even _I'll _admit the kid's a looker, and we all know how Jack gets, don't we?"

Ianto said nothing, his insides seethed. Thinking of Jack and Alex together was, simultaneously, incredibly arousing and unbelievably infuriating. It seemed completely unfair that the only two people who showed any interest in him would instead go for each other.

"I'm getting' outta here," Owen declared, throwing the work he hadn't actually been doing back on his desk "no point in hangin' around. There's nothing to do and the boss ain't here: I say 'leave'." With that, Owen stood and headed for the exit. Toshiko sighed, reluctantly closing the program she'd been working on.

"I should go too. My parents are still at my place. Last time I came home late, they'd rearranged all my furniture."

"Feng shui?" Gwen asked.

"No," Toshiko replied, giving Gwen an indecipherable look "they just didn't like it." Toshiko followed after Owen, soon disappearing from view.

"If I leave now, Rhys might still be awake," Gwen mused aloud. Seeming to reach a conclusion, she too was soon on her way out. "Night, Ianto!" Now on his own, Ianto's gaze swept the empty hub, littered with pizza boxes, soft drink cans and filthy coffee mugs.

"Fuck this," he shrugged, looking up at the pterodactyl's nest "I'm going home."

* * *

Jack opened his bleary eyes, smacking his dry lips. The darkness was illuminated only by a few pinholes of light. He raised his hands to his face in order to block his ears, hoping to stop the painful metallic ringing, only to find them bound by thick metal cuffs that extended partway up his forearms, and were connected directly to each other, preventing even the smallest degree of movement. He tried to stand, only to fall flat on his face. It seemed his legs were similarly bound. The ringing continued. 

"Make it stop." He groaned, his voice cracking from lack of fluids. He was surprised to see that the ringing did indeed fade to a cessation. He looked around him, his eyes adjusting to the musty gloom, to see Alex, also manacled. The boy was laying on his back, with his legs raised in the air, frozen midway through kicking the wall of whatever they were trapped in.

"Oh, you're awake." The tone of the young man's voice suggested that Jack's welfare, rather than being the _last_ thing on his mind, hadn't even entered into his consideration. After that brief, perfunctory greeting, he resumed kicking. The unpleasant sound filled the tiny chamber, grating harshly against Jack's sensitized hearing.

"Stop!" He hollered, struggling to make himself heard over the noise. After almost yelling himself hoarse, he was relieved to see Alex take heed, lowering his legs to what Jack would call, for the sake of argument, the floor. "Where are we?"

"We're in a steel shipping container," the youth replied, "A strong one." He slapped his hand against the wall to illustrate.

"Did Nina put us in here?"

"Not personally, no. She got some cronies to do it."

"Why do you keep kicking the wall?" Jack asked "just do some of your mind-mojo and bust us out."

"Oh, Captain Jack, you're a genius!" Alex exclaimed in a simpering falsetto, before returning to his usual voice "Don't you think if I could, I would've done it already?" he asked, his tone scathing. "She collared me, the fucking bitch _collared_ me."

* * *

Alex tried to ignore the slight tremors as Jack's warm hands went to his neck, gently tracing the thin band of metal. He knew from the feel of it against his own skin that there was no hinge or clasp, no conceivable way they could force it open. 

"Every time I try to use psychokinesis, the collar emits an electrical charge. Not only does it sting like a bitch, it disrupts brain activity, stunning me for any amount of time between two to ten minutes. The only way to get it off is with the key, which is currently hanging from Nina's belt."

"But, if you forced the collar to shock you repeatedly, wouldn't it eventually short circuit?"

"Yes," Alex found himself wishing they had more light so Jack could see him rolling his eyes "but by then, I would be either dead or a drooling vegetable."

* * *

Jack was just about to say that he would prefer a brain-dead Alex to a smart mouthed one when the icy climate of their surroundings suddenly made itself known. 

"It's freezing in here." He muttered, his teeth chattering in a staccato rhythm. He clumsily draped his arms around Alex, bringing their bodies closer together. He could feel the young body stirring against him; rather than trying to slip loose, Alex was doing his best to button the jacket, enclosing the pair of them in a small cocoon of warmth.

"Just don't get grabby." The boy warned.

"I can barely touch you." Jack reminded him

"Still…" Alex's unspoken insult was interrupted by a loud yawn.

"So," Jack tried to change the subject "I hear you went over to Ianto's apartment last night."

"He already told me you forced him to do it."

"Oh. So, what happened?" Jack asked.

"I was in a _coma_." Alex droned "How could you forget that?"

"So? Just because you were unconscious doesn't mean nothing happened."

"You are a sick, sick, _sick _man."

"I try." Jack replied. Alex could feel the older man's smirk against the back of his neck.

"Besides," He added, as an afterthought "he has a girlfriend."

"He does?" Jack asked, genuinely surprised "since when?"

"I don't know. I only saw a photo of her; dark skin, brown eyes, long legs."

"Oh, _Lisa_." Jack nodded inwardly as he realized how Alex must have come to that mistaken conclusion.

"You know her?"

"Not anymore; she's dead."

"Are you sure?" Alex asked, sounding unconvinced.

"Well I sure hope so; otherwise I wasted a lot of bullets."

"You shot Ianto's girlfriend?" Alex's tone was even colder than the surrounding space.

* * *

"Well, yeah, but that was only after we set the pterodactyl on her." Jack's seemed to believe that this was somehow a mitigating circumstance. 

"You fed Ianto's girlfriend to a pterodactyl, and _then_ you shot her." Alex couldn't believe his ears. "Do you come from some alternate dimension where that sort of thing is considered acceptable behaviour?"

"She was going to wipe out the human race!" Jack defended himself.

"Oh, well _that_ makes sense." Alex made no attempt to tone down the contempt in his voice.

"Look, it's complicated, okay?"

"Obviously." Alex yawned again, resting his head on Jack's chest "Do me favour; keep your hands and your skewed sense of justice to yourself, I'm going to sleep."

"How can you sleep at a time like this?"

"Odd," Alex mumbled sleepily "you didn't seem as concerned when you had me caged up in the basement."

* * *

Ianto sank back onto the couch, staring up at the hole left in the ceiling after Alex had wrenched the smoke detector out of its socket. He sighed. After all the noise and excitement of having someone else in his apartment, seeing it empty was so…disappointing. 

TBC

A/N: Man, Ianto's life is pretty depressing right now, isn't it. Well, some barely legal same-sex intimacy should perk him right up, don't you think? (hint) That's assuming that Alex escapes Nina's evil clutches. But we all know he will...won't he?


	14. Ready, Set, Go!

A/N: Woohoo! I'm a genius. Also, gotta love time differences. I'm one day ahead of all my Northern Hemispherian readers, so they're technically getting this a whole day early. Once again, Iam not thrilled personally,with this chapter, but the creative juices just weren't flowing, so I had to make do with the few drops that splashed my way. Anyways, enjoy.

**Hazelayes: **You're going to have to wait a bit, but, if all goes according to plan, you'll finally see some man action in Chapter Sixteen. (I'm skipping over the actual _sex_ altogether, but I'm gonna put a lot of effort into the foreplay, which I feel is sadly lacking in sex of both the fictional and actual variety)

**Amelia McDermid:** Thankyou for your continued (if brief) support. I hope you like this chapter.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Torchwood. But Christmas is coming and then, who knows?

**WARNINGS:** Finally, some violence, and two, count 'em, TWO character deaths (one permanent, the other less so, but the permanent one is nobody you care about.)

**FUN FACT:** Before workig on Doctor Who, Russel T. Davies had been working on an idea for a fantasy/sci fi crime drama set in London (in a similar vein to the 'Buffy' and 'Angel' television series). The original title was 'Excalibur', but the idea was abandoned until he was asked by BBC to write a Doctor Who spin off.

**FOURTEEN: READY, SET, GO!**

A stinging slap across the face shocked Jack back into the waking world. He opened his eyes to see his own feet, all four of them, sliding back and forth as if trying to escape his field of vision. When his head stopped spinning, he looked up to see Nina staring down at him, her expression one of childlike curiosity. This did not make her look any less creepy. She leaned in towards him, he leaned back, only to crack his head rather painfully against another head and receive a retaliatory elbow in the back.

"Watch what you're doing, knucklehead!" Alex hissed.

"How can I watch what I'm doing? I can't see behind me!" Jack hissed back. Another resounding slap caught him across the face, he turned to Nina.

"Oh, you're paying attention now. Good." Nina gripped Jack's chin with surprising strength, forcing him to look into her cold, dead eyes "Now, tell me. Where are the others?"

"That all depends on what time it is." Jack replied, truthfully "They could be anywhere." Another slap.

"Wrong answer."

* * *

"Just tell her." Alex mumbled out of the corner of his mouth, surveying their surroundings for anything that might work to their advantage. "With any luck, she'll leave and we can come up with an escape plan."

"I really don't know!" Jack insisted "They could be at home, at work, on a weevil hunt, who knows?"

They were in an empty warehouse. Judging by the fetid stench of fish, and the lapping of waves just on the cusp of his hearing, they were near water. Judging by the orange light spilling in through the high windows on the west side, it was sunset. They had missed a whole day. Still bound, they had been placed in chairs and tied together by a length of mooring rope. The shipping container they had been locked in stood to one side. Lounging against were Nina's two henchmen. Alex remembered them as fellow students from the Institute. Leif, the taller of the two, at six and a half feet was square-jawed and broad-shouldered, with muscles like a sack of rugby balls. His white-blond hair was crew cut, with stubble to match covering his chin and upper lip. His dark eyes rested their baleful glare on Alex, who glared back defiantly, but felt faintly sick at the thought of facing him in hand to hand combat.

William, on the other hand, was small and weedy, barely coming up to Leif's barrel-chest. His dark hair was limp and greasy. Alex felt unclean just looking at him. He remembered that William had always been pitifully weak physically, and his mental power and control were pathetic. What he had lacked in those respects, he made up for with a streak of cruelty that ran through him like a river of venom. His sadistic nature rivaled even Nina's. Where she was more than happy to torture in order to achieve a goal, William would revel in his victim's pain and, afterwards, go stab mice with pins and watch them bleed to death. Alex longed to get his hands on the scrawny bastard and end his vicious little life. If only he could take off this damn collar.

* * *

"A whole day!" Gwen fumed "A whole day he's been missing!"

"He's been gone for longer," Toshiko attempted to pacify her "and we get on with our jobs just fine without him."

"It's Alex I'm worried about!" Gwen exclaimed "Jack running off is one thing. Jack running of with a _child_ is another matter completely!"

"He's not a child." Toshiko reminded her.

"Hey," Owen interrupted "maybe he took the brat to a quiet alleyway, popped a bullet in 'is head and is dissolving the body in acid as we speak." He sounded cautiously optimistic.

"That's twisted, Owen, really foul."

"Calm down," Owen raised his hands in a placating gesture "they're probably in some seedy motel, having a twenty-four hour shag-a-thon." This earned him a smack across the face by an irritated Gwen. "Well, if all you're gonna do is smack me about, I'm goin' 'ome."

* * *

Jack was unmoved by Nina's feeble attempts at torture. After a year's worth of suffering under the pathological cruelty of the Master, spending a day or two in the hands of a teenage girl wouldn't faze him. Whilst she had been trying to force the whereabouts of his team out of him, he had been busily working to untie the ropes that constrained them both. With a sigh of frustration, Nina finally turned away from him. There, dangling from her belt was a small key. In his mind, a plan was beginning to take form.

"He's not talking. William, put the moves on Alex, see if that'll make him cough it up."

"Alex," Jack whispered urgently, turning his head whilst trying to keep his eyes on Nina and the key "are you gonna be okay?"

"I'll be- gah!" He cut himself of with a yelp as a red welt rose on his forehead. It faded away in almost the same instant "I'll be fine, just keep your mouth shut."

"I'm gonna try and get the key off Nina, and distract her long enough for you to get rid of the collar. Then, I want you to get out of here and find the others."

"Are you out of your fucking gourd?" Alex hissed, flinching slightly as twin cuts appeared on either side of his face "She'll kill you before you can lay hand on her!" Jack's hands froze and he appeared to think about what Alex had said.

"Nope, don't care." He leapt to his feet, and bulled Nina to the ground. The ropes had not come completely undone, and Alex found himself pulled to the ground and dragged partway. Jack and Nina wrestled for a few seconds, and he even managed to get a few blows on her until she gathered her wits and, with a mere flick of her wrist sent him flying up to the roof before falling to the ground with a sickening crunch.

* * *

Alex stared at Jack's corpse, stunned into silence. His entire body was broken; the fall alone would've shattered his spine into a million pieces, and yet there was not a single speck of blood. Shocked out of his stupor by the sight of Nina getting back on her feet, he lunged for Jack's still-warm hands, which were closed together. Resting between them was the tiny key. He grabbed it and, after some fumbling with his still-manacled hands, the collar fell away from his neck in two perfect halves. One half fell in his lap and he caught the other before it could hit the floor and give him away. With a mere thought, his wrist and ankle bindings vanished

He took one last look at Jack. The injuries he had suffered were beyond even Alex's healing abilities, and what man could reverse death? Still there was something…an indefinable spark…a glimmer; he could feel it, even from here. But there was no time to think about it, no time to mourn. Slipping the collar and key into one of his jacket pockets, he pressed a chaste kiss to the lips of the rapidly cooling corpse.

"Good luck." He whispered. Then he stood, prepared to run and, with a snap of his fingers caused the windows to explode in a shower of glass. As shards rained down around him, he took to his heels, doing his best to deflect the worst of the deadly cascade, ignoring the myriad tiny cuts on his face and arms. The doors swung open at his command and he vanished.

* * *

Nina picked herself up from the ground, pulling tiny glass pieces out of her hands with a nonchalance not normally associated with such an activity. She looked around to see every inch of the stone floor covered in glass. She strode over to the prone form of William and noted, with some satisfaction, that the slimy little toad had been put paid to by a large sliver that had skewered his eye. Leif stood, lips drawn in a thin line, eyes expressionless as the several wounds that marred his chiseled face healed over.

"Find Alex and kill him, I will dispose of William." Leif nodded and took off into the rapidly approaching night without a word. Nina waited unit he was gone before returning the windows to their original state with a wave of her hand. She allowed herself a small smile. Leif would not fail. He never had before, and she'd finally rid herself of simpering weakling William. A harsh ragged breath brought her back to reality, she turned on her heel. Apart from the widening of her eyes, her features did not betray her fear,

"Did someone kiss me?"

A/N: Actually, I quite like the ending of this chapter. The next will consist mostly of a cross-city chase/fight scene (never written one of those before, hope I'm up to it) and sixteen will feature the long awaited hook-up (I'm intentionally avoiding graphic depiction of sex acts because my first attempt at smut will be totally crap, and I don't want to ruin an otherwise largely successful, multi-chapter fic). If I ever get the guts, though, I'll definitely write a companion piece, depicting the event in all it's man-on-manliness. Also, Along with the sequel for this, I've been bitten by a rabid plot-bunny and have been thinking of writing a modernized, _slightly_ gender-bent version of Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice' (can anyone say 'gay Mr. Darcy?'). It's a pretty ambitious project, and I need a new copy of the book first (to make sure I don't miss out anything important) but whaddaya think? Should I give it a go?

P.S. Reviews soothe the evil demon that sleeps with in me. Unless you _want_ a world of eternal darkness, with lakes of blood and fire, and constant rape and pillaging and whatnot, I suggest you click that purpley-grey button and tell me what you think of my fic.


	15. Breaking Point

A/N: Yes, I know that this is on the ridiculous side of overdue (especially when I know that I get inordinately pissed off when updates take this long.) And I have less of an excuse then most people because I have no job and (judging by my marks) no school in the near future. I finally got my graduation certificate mailed to me on Christmas Eve. How sucky is that? "Merry Christmas, we hope you don't mind, but we crushed your hopes and dreams into glitter to decorate the faculty lounge." What REALLY sucks is that all my teachers kept telling me what a good writer I was! Here's a question for you,you giant wastes of oxygen. If I'm such a good writer and I'm doing 'so well' on all my work, WHY are all my grades low C's?

Now, onto the replies.

**Amelia McDermid: **Are you SURE you don't have any complaints? You always say such nice things. After the fiasco that is my education (as mentioned above) I grown wary of positive feedback. And if hookups are all it takes to make you happy, then you should be quite satisfied come chapter Sixteen. As for any 'twists'...well...if kindergarteners can grasp the concept of sharing, I'm sure Jack and Ianto can.

**Hazelayes: **I too am a very frilly kind of person, (I realize that this is a blow to my admittedly meagre masculinity) my experience in this area may be limited (i.e. none) but I believe that whether your doing 'it' for fun, profit or as an expression of 'love and commitment', you should do what you can to enhance the enjoyment of any and all participators.

**Kazz the 13th: **Not yet, but comeuppance is on it's way. As far as JackXGwen goes: no comment. What the characters do in their downtime is their own business, and shame on you for snooping!

**picky and paranoid: **Oh yeah, that was pretty appalling of me. I can't help it, though. There's another shameless quote-snatch in here, but it's not from anything Torchwood related. Can you spot it? In my defence, Jack strikes me as the kind of guy who would reuse a jokeif the circumstances allowed for it.

**Crazy Psycho Book Freak: **Well, you certainly liked the _first_ chapter, have you read the rest yet?

**bbmcowgirl:** Is the 'bbm' short for something. And yes, they will, in the upcoming chapter. Can you suggest a decent title? Right now I'm drawing blanks and I _really_ don't want to use a song title or something like that. (In the sequel, I'm going to try and use song title for all the chapters,just to see if I can keep it up.) Please help me,or I'll have to settle for 'Let's Get Physical', 'Heat of the Moment' or, (God help me) something by the 'Bloodhound Gang'. Appropriate? Perhaps. Tasteful? NO!

**DISCLAIMER:** I still don't own Torchwood, but now that I have a PS3, that worries me less than it used too. Of course, if Russel T. Davies wants to just _give_ it to me, I won't say no. It would certainly take care of any career worries. For a while, at least.

**WARNINGS: **More death, and some wierd shit that confuses even me! I hope it figures itself out...

**FUN FACT:** Before the premiere double episode was broadcast in the UK, Susie Costello (played by Indira Varma) featured prominently as a 'main character', and then they killed her. Happy British Practical Joke Day, everyone!

**FIFTEEN: BREAKING POINT **

Alex doubled over in the middle of the street, wheezing and panting, his face pink with exertion. He had been running at top speed for an hour before even daring to stop and gather his wits. Strands of hair clung to his damp forehead, and his heart was beating so fast that the fear of it exploding became a very real concern.

The sun had sunk into the sea some time ago, and the city was swarming with early club-goers and late-night shoppers who made no effort to move around the young man, choosing instead to send him bouncing off each other, like some sort of obscene human pinball. Suddenly, the jostling stopped and he found himself outside a cinema. Taking advantage of the brief respite, he swept his hair back and tied it out of the way. He grabbed the sleeve of a suited man as he walked past.

"Excuse me, sir; do you know where I can find Torchwood?" The man shook him off and continued on his way. "Lousy royalists," Alex muttered under his breath "see if I give you directions when you visit Australia." He stopped a young woman who was in the middle of a phone call.

"Excuse me, do you know-"

"Piss off! Can't you see I'm busy? No, not you, some loser was trying it on…" Alex turned away, disgusted.

"And people wonder why I don't find a nice girl. There aren't any, that's why." Lost in his rant, he found himself colliding with another pedestrian; face to muscled chest. He looked up.

"Oh, sorry, I-" and found himself sent flying through the air with a single punch.

White hot pain jangled in every nerve as he collided with several tables and chairs outside a café-and-bar. The screams and gasps of the gathering crowd were strangely muffled by the shrill ringing in his ears. He looked up to see Leif, the man-mountain approaching him with the speed, confidence and inevitability of continental drift. He risked a brief glance around the area; too public. He'd have to do this the hard way.

Wasting no more time he grabbed a chair by the legs and heaved it at Leif, who caught it easily before discarding it, but gave Alex the time he needed to extricate himself from the jumble of furniture. Collectively, the crowd inched back, forming an impromptu fighter's ring. Leif had stopped directly in the middle off the road, seemingly secure in the knowledge that, in the event of a traffic accident, the vehicle would come out worse for it.

Alex stood up straight, squaring his shoulders and marched purposefully towards his impassive opponent.

"Might as well do this properly, right?" He did his best to act nonchalant, but panic was rolling off him in waves. He folded his hands together and bowed formally. Leif let out a grunt and followed suit. Seizing his chance, Alex placed both hands on Leif's wide shoulders and leapfrogged over him, using his back as a spring board to vault over the assembled crowd, and hit the ground running.

* * *

Nina had to forcibly stop herself from jumping back as Jack moved towards her. She swallowed a scream that had tried to escape. Her mouth opened and closed silently, before a few words stumbled out, tripping over each other and giggling drunkenly. 

"It-it's not possible."

"Not _probable_," Jack corrected, seemingly unaware of the grotesque spectacle that was his bones, resetting and knitting together once more, crawling under his skin like hundreds of bugs.

"I-I _killed_ you!"

"I may not be able to die," Jack's moved closer, his manner suddenly threatening "but when you broke every bone in my body, it still kinda hurt, _bitch_!" Jack wrapped his hand around Nina's throat, and threw her across the warehouse. "Let's see how you like it." She hit the ground face first. When she looked up, he once again felt her invasive presence in his mind. He was ready for it this time. Hastily raising his defenses, he repulsed the barb, leaving Nina to scrabble ineffectually in seemingly empty brain-space, while he went on the attack, taking a handful of her hair and slamming his knee into her face with a satisfying crunch.

* * *

Blood poured from Nina's broken nose, but she felt no pain; only pure, driven anger. The mere fact that he continued to live was an outrage, if she wanted someone to die, they would die, and they would stay dead. But for him to dare to lay a hand on her was unthinkable. Still, underlying the rage, there was the fear. How could this man, a mere human, be stronger? Even among her peers, she was unequaled. She held powers unlike any of them had seen, and dealt death with the same ease one might a playing card. And yet…this man, this _insect_, did not submit to her. Stunned, she did not even struggle when Jack grabbed her bodily and threw her to the ground, where she tumbled until she hit the chairs that her prisoners had been bound to, only moments ago. 

Fueled by instinct, and supreme terror of this unknown enemy, Nina gripped two chair legs and snapped them off with preternatural strength and speed, leaving her with two jagged wooden stakes. A primitive weapon perhaps, but something was better than nothing. She turned and, with precision, plunged one into Jack's chest as he lunged at her, the tip emerging between his shoulder blades. The second, she drove into his stomach for good measure, before letting him fall backwards, onto the floor, propped up by the two stakes, eyes and mouth wide open in a look of surprise.

"You're dead." Nina told the corpse, just in case it didn't know "I killed you." With that, she stepped over it and looked out at the doorway, awaiting Leif's return. After a moment, her eyes slid back to the still, unmoving corpse. Even now, it was…_mocking_ her. Even now, she still feared it. She moved, thinking to take this corpse and William's, and toss them off the dock, into the bay. But Leif was sure to return with Alex's carcass, and then _he_ could do it. She would not debase herself by touching it.

_

* * *

Just keep running_. Alex reminded himself. _No matter what, keep running; and is it too much to ask for a wide, deserted space in the middle of Cardiff on a weekend?_ He could hear the heavy footfalls of Leif, steadily approaching and becoming ever faster. He had a good head start, but once Leif got up to speed, he was a veritable juggernaut. He risked a glance over his shoulder to see his Behemoth pursuer not ten metres away, and coming ever closer. He took a sharp left, into an alley 

As he clambered over a wire fence, Alex struggled to think of something, **anything** that would get him out of this. For some odd reason, in his state of panic, all he could conjure up were his five times tables, reciting over and over in his head. They were suddenly dislodged when he hit the ground, to be replaced by a memory of his brief stay in Amsterdam, some months ago.

On this one particular evening, he had spent the night in the arms of a slightly awkward, but endearingly enthusiastic young man who had caught his attention with his odd method of flirting, which was to pose infuriatingly difficult questions that had simple, logical answers. Among the many questions he had been faced with was 'What would happen if an unstoppable object met an unmovable force?' Alex had immediately replied with 'an explosion!' only to learn that the correct answer was in fact, _nothing_ because (and here came the punch line) if there was such a thing as an immovable force, then, there could be no such thing as an unstoppable object. The two could not mutually exist. Hardly fascinating stuff, but an idea was beginning to form around it.

"Okay _think_;" Alex shoved through the swarm of people, voicing his thoughts aloud as he ran "a moving object comes to a halt when it loses momentum. For an object to be unstoppable would imply that it can only _gain _momentum. I know that Leif is capable of losing momentum, or else he would never be able to stop running. Therefore, Leif is stoppable!" Alex realized that, somewhere, in the back of his mind, he already knew this, but saying it out loud caused a sudden surge of confidence.

With a sweep of his arms, Alex parted the traffic like a modern Moses, leaving him a clear stretch of road, which he dashed across, stopping dead in his tracks when he reached the middle. He turned to see Leif, thundering through the crowd, shoving people to the ground, and then trampling over them in his haste to reach his quarry. Alex crossed both his arms in front of his face, as if shielding himself from a blow. The resounding impact shuddered through him as Leif careened, head on, into the invisible wall he had projected only a few inches from his own face. Alex dropped his hands to his sides, letting the barrier fall.

As Leif drew back his fist to throw a punch, in full view of yet another crowd, Alex was distracted by a sudden twinge in the back of his head. A sharp, stabbing pain intensely focused at the base of his skull. It was similar to, but not nearly as intense as the blinding pain that had struck him when he had yanked Nina's mind barb out of Jack's head, and into his own. That momentary distraction was all it took, and he was flat out on the ground, floored by Leif's massive fist.

* * *

The insistent throbbing at the back of his head continued, but it was somehow dampened. It was almost as though he had woken from a deep sleep. Everything seemed so _clear_, and time seemed to have slowed down. The pain had focused, sharpened and polished everything to a high-level of brilliance. Leif's fist descended on Alex slowly, as though it were moving through sap. He could almost hear the dull roar of air rippling around it. Effortlessly, Alex rolled out from under the falling blow. Leif still had barely moved. It seemed to Alex as though time had stopped for everyone but him. Pulling himself into a kneeling position, Alex placed both hands on the asphalt and felt the tingling rush of pins and needles as the energy flowed through his arms. Simultaneously, a sound not unlike a crashing wave washed over him, as movement and sound came flooding back and –

* * *

Leif's hand plunged into the bubbling, molten tar with a hiss. Before he could even open his mouth to scream in pain, Alex leapt to his feet and kicked Leif between his shoulder blades, shoving his face into the boiling asphalt with a damp squelch, followed by sizzling and the smoky, acrid smell of burnt meat. 

Alex fell to his knees as the pain suddenly spiked, turning his world into unbearable agony. Then, as quickly as it had come it was vanquished by the sudden weight on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked up to see a rather sad and harmless looking man watching him with evident concern.

"Are you alright, mate?"

Risking a brief glance around at the milling spectators, he tried to hear what they were saying. Over the buzz of speculation, he could only make out a few random phrases like 'freak accident' and 'road quality'. It was amazing, the way these people were able to explain away such incredible things with such dull (and usually more complicated) explanations.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Alex stood up, feeling as though his leg muscles had dissolved into puddles in his shoes. "Could you direct me to the Roald Dahl Plass, please?"

"It's not far," The man waved vaguely to the left, down a wide street between two café strips. "Just keep going that way, and you'll be there in a few minutes."

"Thank you." Alex turned away from the man, heading in the direction he indicated. After the odd feeling of crystal clarity and weightlessness he had experienced, he felt awkward, clumsy and dog tired. He was fighting to keep from tripping over his own feet. Even stringing two words together was difficult.

"Um, shouldn't you wait around? Some people have called the police, and they'll probably want to talk to you."

"I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you." Alex was struggling to hear anything at all. The man seemed to mistake his exhaustion for anxiety.

"Don't worry; I'm sure you won't be in any trouble. It was an accident, nothing you could have done. My girlfriend used to be cop, I'm sure she'll help you out. She should be along any minute."

"No thank you."

* * *

Gwen struggled through the crowd, finally managing to spot Rhys on the on the other side of the road, which, with the arrival of police was quickly becoming a crime scene. She dashed across. 

"There you are! What happened here?" She asked, indicating the now cordoned-off area, which contained only the still-steaming corpse and a small group of law enforcement officers who were trying to figure out how to extract it from the rapidly cooling road.

"I'm…not…sure." Rhys muttered "There was this kid and…it all happened so fast, like a blur."

"What kid?" Gwen asked "Where was he?"

"Over there." Gwen turned in the direction Rhys was pointing.

"I can't see him. There's too many people milling about."

"He's gone now." Rhys sounded both relieved and bewildered. Gwen kissed him on the cheek.

"Never mind, we'll probably never see him again. Do you still feel like going to a movie?"

* * *

Unable to maintain the concentration needed for manipulating the lock, Alex settled for breaking it. The front desk was vacant. The silence was overwhelming. 

"Ianto, are you in here?" Alex called out. Nothing. Not even an echo. The noise was swallowed up by the vacuum. "Jack? Gwen? Toshiko?" Nothing. "Owen?" Alex pleaded with the encroaching darkness, growing desperate "Anyone?"

A/N: Gwen comes of kinda stupid in this chapter, doesn't she? Ah well. How many people out there really like her anyway? I'm guessing not many. Odd really, since she is supposed to be the 'audience surrogate' a.k.a 'the "normal" person who finds themselves thrust into Wonderland-esque scenario'. In other words, Gwen is the character we shouldall be identifying with. So, audience, how many of YOU have cheated on your kind, caring boyfriend, with the sleazy, ugly, scrawny bully-nerd at work? Yup, that's what I thought.

Oh, and don't forget to review, it is thanks to you, the readers who provide me with feedback (good or bad) that ensure that this thing continues to get written. Seriously,tellme it'scrap if you want to, just tell me_ something_. God, it takes forever just to put a word in italics. Anyhoo, it's three am here, so, sleepytime!


	16. About Damn Time

A/N: I have some good news, and some bad news. Good news? The long-awaited, much advertised Chapter Sixteen and resultant hook-up is finally HERE!!! Bad news? You have to read a fair bit before you get there. I only hope it lives up to the hype, since I know you guys have been salivating over the prospect. I've been reading slash fics from various fandoms on the site, tryin to find inspiration. Most of them are much the same, I've noticed. I'd like to think that I added something unique to this little semi-slash. Also, writing one (rather than just reading one) is much more, shall we say...affecting. I'd estimate that I'm gonna be dreaming about Gareth David-Lloyd for about a week. Not that I'm complaining, mind you (cough, cough). Moving right along...

**Tomkat:** I'm glad that there are people out there who appreciate my odd brand of humour (not many people around me do). As sad as it is to admit this, I also have a quiet little snigger when I re-read my previous chapters. But hey, if I didn't think it was funny, I wouldn't put it in here in the first place.

**Tomkat (again):** During my re-reads, I have spotted few teensy mistakes, but if you can't see them, I ain't about to give them away.

**Tomkat (again, again):** To boost my own self-esteem, I'm counting each of your reviews seperately, even though I got them all at pretty much the same time. Therefore, each merits it's _own_ response. You read up to chapter _17_? How? Will it be any good? What happens? No, wait! Don't tell me, I want to be surprised! Saying that this reads as a standalone episode is one of the biggest compliments you could've given me. The whole _reason_ I'm writing this is as a personal challengeto try and maintain the style of the program. I was already planning more internal dialogue for Ianto, and he has a lot in this chapter, I hope I went some way towards explaining his attraction to Alex. During the final...scenes, the POV's kind of run together. But hey, sex is nothing if not chaotic. Your observations about Alex at the beginning were astute; he deliberately wears baggy clothes, to make himself seem smaller, and when you're on the run, you don't often have time to wash. You'll get more about his background in the sequel, but he's a very positive-outlook-type character, so it won't be all that angsty. I looked up the fic you mentioned, but couldn't find it. Oh, and, here's the next installment, you may breathe now.

**Amelia McDermid: **You certainly have lofty expectations. I'm sure if anything needed improvement, you'd tell me. I hope you enjoy 16!

**picky and paranoid: **Yeah, Gwen can be annoying. She's like a Mary Sue who's ALSO a canon character. On the other hand, Susie was a psychotic killer (what a dilemma). If you ask me, they both suck because they slept with Owen. I really hate Owen. Stupid Owen. Oh, and NEVER underestimate the awesome power of your local library. After all, BooksKnowledgePower.

**coffeemagic: **Yay! I really missed you, believe it or not. As one of my most regular reviewers, I always get concerned when you don't turn up. Reading your reviews lifts a weight from my heavy heart (or is it the laptop on my chest?) Either way, glad to have you back. Oh, and you got your wish: Ianto by the bucketful!

**Kazz the 13th:** I choose to interpret that as "you are a writing talent of celestial proportions, and I am not worthy to lick the dust off your impeccable grammer" I'm sure that's what you _meant _to say. As for snooping, you shouldn't worry, after all, 'snoop' is just one letter short of 'Snoopy' and everyone _loves_ Snoopy! Mmm, Snoopy... where was I again?

**Tomkat: **A sequel is in the works. I'm already taking notes. Not sure how long it will be, though. I don't wanna hype it up too much, but I've got two interweaving storylines of EPIC proportions, several new characters, and trials, the like of which Jack and friends have never even dreamt of in their wildest nightmares.

**Fairy-Tales123: **THANK YOU! Nobody else seems to get it; ever since they met, Alex and Jack have constantly antagonised each other, and we all know what _that _means in the long run, don't we?

**DISCLAIMER, SEUSS STYLE:**

I don't own Torchwood in a box,

I do not own it with a fox,

I do not own it here or there,

I do not own it _anywhere!_

I do not own it, can't you see?

Who owns Torchwood? R.T.D!

**WARNING:** This is your captain speaking; Please keep your seatbelt securely fastened while the seatbelt light is on. There is no smoking on commercial aircraft, not even post-coital. We may encounter some slight turbulence and some heavy man-on-man action. For those of you that are uncomfortable with either, the emergency exits are here and here. Regrettably, we are out of parachutes. In-flight entertainment will be provided about halfway through the trip, but, if you'd rather read slash, that's fine too. We hope you enjoy your flight, and will consider our airline for your next voyeuristic trip.

**FUN FACT: **At 17, Naoko Mori starred as the female lead in the classic musical, 'Miss Saigon' the male lead was, of course, John Barrowman.

**SIXTEEN: ABOUT DAMN TIME **

Ianto was suddenly yanked out of the deep waters of sleep by a sudden knock on the door. His tired eyes took in his surroundings. He had fallen asleep on the hated couch, still fully dressed in a now-rumpled suit. The television was still on, but he seemed to have rolled onto the remote in his sleep. The whole of 'Coronation St.' was blue, and all the people living on it had inexplicably lost their voices. It actually made the show more bearable. He glanced at his watch. Only nine o'clock?

A second knock brought him back to his senses. He pulled himself onto his feet, ignoring the shooting pain in his neck and dragged himself to the door. After several tries he managed to get a hold of the damn doorknob, twist and pull. It was a testimonial to his supreme hand-eye coordination. His eyes widened at the sight of the beaten, dirt-smudged teenager on his doormat.

"Alex?" Ianto realized he shouldn't be surprised. The _boy_ had nowhere else to go. Unless Owen was right and he and Jack really had…

"Good, you're home." Alex shouldered past Ianto, head bowed "I walked all the way here from the Hub. And I ran all the way _there_ from the docks."

"Where were you?" Ianto asked, trying to sound concerned, which he was, but it had been hardened and tempered by anger. He knew he had no right to be. Jack and Alex were free to do what they liked. He had no claim on either of them. Knowing that he was in the wrong only made him more furious.

He always felt that way, especially of late; poor, stupid Ianto. Always wrong, always clumsy, always awkward. He had learned at an early age to be careful, _so_ careful about everything he said, did, _felt_. That had backfired too. He became the 'weird one', the freak. Never speaking, except to answer a question. Not that anyone ever asked _him_. Someone would ask something, he'd reply. Then, whoever it was would jump, turn around and say '_Christ, Ianto, you scared me! How long have you been standing there?_' He suddenly realized that, so wrapped up in his own self-pity, he had completely missed Alex's reply.

"W-what?" He stammered, secretly hating himself for the slip.

"Nina. She-uh-she has Jack." Alex's voice was deadpan, a statement of fact. No speculation, no emotion, just words. The sheer coldness of his tone shocked Ianto out of his own misery.

"Oh." Ianto replied. What else could he say?

* * *

"Yeah." Alex swung his arms back and forth, determined to look anywhere but at the seraphic vision that stood before him. Even if he _did _look like he'd just had a tumble in a broom cupboard, Ianto's blue eyes shone with cold condemnation. The voice of reason told him he was being paranoid, but it was drowned out by Alex's own racing heart. _He knows!_ Alex screamed inside his head. _He knows Jack is dead, and it's my fault!_ Risking a brief glance into those eyes, Alex could almost believe there was a Hell. And he was headed straight for it. No doubt about that. All because he lied. Okay, maybe the sodomy had _something_ to do with it, but mostly it was the lying. 

He expected shouting; he expected punishment, _something_ on the outside to take away the guilt that was gnawing at him _inside_.

"Give me your clothes."

He hadn't been expecting _that_. He struggled to form a response.

"Guh?" _Way to go, genius_.

"Give me your clothes," Ianto repeated. "There's a laundry room downstairs, I'll wash them while you take a shower."

Alex looked down at himself, suddenly realizing that his clothes were stained with blood, dirt and dried bits of road that had splashed up when…yeah…best _not_ to think about it. Inexplicably embarrassed (given that, not long ago, the pair had happily eaten breakfast together, practically naked), Alex bent down and untied his shoes, placing them carefully to one side before shrugging off his jacket, and tugging his shirt over his head. With a sharp pull on his belt, the jeans instantly pooled at his feet and he stepped out of them, now only wearing boxers and socks, displaying a confidence he didn't feel. Ianto bundled the clothes into his arms and wordlessly left the apartment.

* * *

The torrential cacophony of the rinse cycle echoed throughout the empty room, bouncing off walls and tiles, until it assaulted hearing from all sides, mercifully drowning out the sound of Ianto banging his head against the washing machine. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_! He should have been comforting! He should have consoled him! Reassured him! Hell, he should've knocked the kid flat on the floor and taken him, right then and there! But _no,_ he offered to do his fucking laundry! Was there a bigger loser in the whole entirety of existence? Well, yes, that was a given, but _besides_ Owen? 

Ianto sighed, slumping against the machine. There was just something so…unique about Alex, so different from everyone else he had ever been with. Lisa had possessed a ferocious 'working woman' mentality, rarely letting her guard down, even for him. And Jack was, well…_Jack_, a flirty, charming outer shell, with a filling of maudlin detachment and arctic fury, incapable of connecting with a person beyond any physical sense of the word. Incapable of connecting with _him_, anyway, even after everything that had happened.

Alex was…fun. A lot of fun. Even when he did infuriating things that left gaping holes in the ceiling. And he had a soft, vulnerable side, a dangerous side, a passionate side, and much more, all mingling together into some sort of human kaleidoscope. But what Ianto mostly saw when he looked at Alex, was someone who saw him back.

A friend.

A friend he could have _sex_ with.

* * *

Alex rested his head against the shower wall, sighing deeply. The hot water washed away the knots in his back and soothed the throbbing ache in his muscles. He turned around, subjecting his face to the full force of the spray. It had even cleansed his fear and guilt, though he suspected they would soon return. The stabbing pain in his head had also subsided, but he now felt oddly exposed, as if his mind had been laid bare for inspection. New sensations were flooding in from everywhere. He could feel every individual water droplet as it hit his skin and trickled down his body. The glass was glassier, the steam was steamier, and the soap was soapier. Everything was just…more! It was overpowering. 

The downside was that his exhaustion was even more acute. He wanted nothing more than to sleep.

Well, obviously there was _one_ thing he would prefer, but sleep was a close second.

* * *

Ianto woke to the sensation of a warm mouth covering his own. His eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly, smacking his head against that of his unknown (for lack of a better word) 'assailant'. He stared, perplexed, at Alex, who was sprawled on his back at the foot of the bed, rubbing his forehead ruefully. Aside from his boxers and socks, he was also wearing the too-big winter pajama top Ianto had lent him. 

"That really hurt."

"Sorry." Ianto muttered, before he could stop himself. "Hang on, why am I apologizing? What are you doing in here? Didn't you fall asleep on the couch?"

"I woke up, obviously." Alex defended himself, sounding a little angry "And I thought 'there's a hot, older man in the other room who I really want to kiss, and he's asleep, so I'd better do it now because there might not be another chance'. Clearly, it was a mistake."

Alex clambered off the bed, brushing imaginary dust from his torso, maintaining a mock-dignified air "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go self-combust from shame." He turned to leave, suddenly finding himself jerked back. He tried again, he was jerked back. He looked over his shoulder.

"Ianto, you're holding my wrist." He murmured. The Welshman looked down, surprised.

"Oh. I didn't realize." He didn't let go.

"Well…goodnight."

"Yes." Neither of them moved. Rolling his eyes, Alex placed his free hand over the one clamped around his wrist, determined to free it, even if it meant breaking Ianto's fingers one by one. The minute he did, though, he found himself pulled into Ianto's lap, and a deep, intense kiss. He gasped in surprise and Ianto's tongue slipped in, conquering his mouth with ease. It was so forceful, so overwhelming. Alex succumbed to it, closing his eyes. If you break the dam, you're bound to drown in the flood.

His hand was released as Ianto's made their way under the borrowed top, brushing roughly against his skin, leaving it inflamed with desire. There was no tenderness, no hesitation here, just pure, unadulterated _need_. This was nothing like the dour, controlled man Alex had met. This was animalistic, hedonistic, _brutal_. And. So. Much. Better.

The need for air was making itself known. Alex tried to pull away from the kiss, only to be nipped harshly on the inside of his lip. His lungs were starting to burn. He tore away from Ianto's mouth, breaking the connection between them. He opened his eyes. Ianto's chest was heaving, his pupils dilated to the point that they were twin black orbs, with only the thinnest rings of blue. For a moment that stretched into eternity, they sat silently, taking each other in. Alex unconsciously drew his bruised lower lip into his own mouth, savouring the coppery taste of his own blood.

That simple gesture shattered what little was left of Ianto's self control, and he lunged at the younger man with a growl, knocking him onto his back, tearing the top apart as he did so. Buttons flew into odd corners of the room. Alex yelped as Ianto's fingers dug painfully into his hair, holding him still as he moved in for another mind-numbing, breath-stealing kiss. Lost in the sensation, he barely noticed as Ianto's other hand snaked underneath him, pressing into the small of his back in an effort to bring their bodies as close together as possible, his fingers just grazing the waistband of the younger man's boxers.

Another nip brought Alex out of his shocked state. Ianto wanted him to move, apparently. Alex pushed back against the kiss, propping himself up on his elbows. From there, he used his upper body to force Ianto back onto his knees, with him straddling Ianto's lap. The now ruined top slid down, exposing his bare shoulders, and onto the mattress. Now free of the cumbersome item, Alex leaned further into the seemingly un-ending kiss, bringing his hands to Ianto's hips, where they fumbled with the maddeningly difficult knot of his sleep pants, simultaneously lifting his own hips so Ianto could remove his boxers.

Now fully, gloriously naked, Alex's nerves were going haywire; the heat radiating from Ianto's body waged war on his bare skin with the cool night breeze wafting through the room. Once more, he found himself pinned beneath the larger, stronger man, rendered incoherent by the incredible mouth that kissed and licked the hollow of his throat before gliding down his chest, through the fine, pale hair that dusted it, over his stomach, and down further still…

Down…

Down...

_Down…_

Oh _**God**_…

A/N: I shall leave the rest up to your more than capable imaginations, I'm walking a fine line between ratings with this chapter as it is. I may finish it off in a seperate oneshot, but I don't think I have the guts just now, especially if this was no good. Am I genius? A tease? A quack? A massive closet case? I would love to hear your opinions.


	17. Traps, Laps & Snaps

A/N: Woah, talk about angst. I guess Alex aint so positive outlook after all. I feel like I should have ended this chapter a lot earlier, but I just kept typing like crazy, and then I looked over it and I was like "Six and a bit pages, huh? That oughta tide those rabid hyenas over for a while". I joke, of course. I love it that people get so excited about my stuff. I don't think any of my original work has ever gotten that reaction (I, personally believe that my original stuff is overall better than my fan fiction. But I never show it to anybody, fear of rejection and all that crap). I recently learned that I can send replies to your reviews individually, to your respective email addresses. For the sake of convenience, I shall continue to type them up here instead. So now my reviewers have TWO reasons to keep reading! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Man that really hurts, I don't know how super-villains keep it up.

**kateg123:** Not a big fan of the mansex, huh? Well, I'll give you this tip. If you ever visit Canberra, stay away from a nightclub by the name of 'Cubed', the place is full of it (or so I hear, having never been myself). I think that the whole concept of 'chemistry' in a relationship is fundamentally flawed, as it is based on the perceptions of the people _outside_ the relationship, who aren't really in a position to judge. I wouldn't fret over it too much, I still suspect that any canon relationship between Jack and Ianto is likely to be short-lived. I mean, what, he shoots your robo-girlfriend, so you get revenge by having kinky stopwatch sex? Of course, if they _can_ move past that, and all the other issues I'm sure they _both_ have, then good on them. It doesn't really matter to me what you look forward to, as long as it keeps you reding.

**kateg123 (again): **Oh, so you _do _like the mansex. And have no fear, until I get a Uni offer, or a job, I will continue to update as quick as I can. If I'm not sleepy, that is.

**Tomkat: **Since you somehow manage to read chapters _before_ I post, or even write them, I doubt you'll see this message. If you do, though, could you please tell me how chapter 18 turns out? Unless that would like, create a paradox or something. The last thing I need right now is to get devoured by one of those ugly green bastards from outside the universe (I forget what they're called. I keep thinking 'Reavers', but those are from 'Firefly'.)

**Amelia McDermid: **Ha Ha! Made you blush! Excuse me while I go do my victory 'Hustle'. Do do do do do do do do do... I just realized; unless you know what the 'Hustle' is, you won't get this joke. Ah well.

**Kazz the 13th: **No, Alex is NOT a woman (though that would have made quite the twist, it simply wouldn't have been slash, would it?) Characters suddenly changing gender is like, seriously wrong, it's right up there with mpreg and heterosexual incest (same sex incest is just this side of okay, because there's no possibility of mutant babies.) And while we're on the topic, please stay OFF the topic of intimacy with children, animals or corpses while you're at it. Oh, and BTW, humble you may be, but servant you are not. If anything, it's the other way around.

**coffeemagic: **No matter what, you will always be hundredth reviewer in my eyes. But if you feel the need for serious reprisals, make sure you send pictures of the victims. I'll put them on my wall of 'People Whose Deaths I Am Indirectly Responsible For'. It's a little hobby I have.

**bbmcowgirl:** That's exactly how I felt when I finished writing that chapter. Damn OC's get all the fun.

**notoriousreviewer: **Um...thanks, I guess?

**notoriousreviewer (again): **WOW. You just beat out **coffeemagic** and **Tomkat **_combined_ for the longest review in the history of ever. You better hope you don't get 'reprised' because of it. I actually find it hilarious that you found a spelling mistake in the very same sentence where I was boasting about my grammar. Let that be a lesson to you. Even Gods such as myself can make mistakes. Your remarks about Owen were insulting to say the least. Next time you see a frog, I suggest you apologize.

Are you sure 'defuse' isn't a word? I'm gonna leave it there anyway, since I like it too. I realise that male slashers are uncommon, but hey, I've been wanting to be a writer since I was five years old. Back then, I was adamant that I would never write anything even slightly romantic (cause girls and kissing were icky). I now think kissing is okay, aslong as it's done well. And girls? The jury's still out on that one. Oh, and yes, both Nina's henchmen are out of the picture for good.

Uni prospects...not so good. I may still get an offer. Yes, procrastination was a problem for me,but mostly because I could only do two English courses, which means the rest got filled up with stuff I wasn't good at, and didn't care about. The moral of the story? Play to your strengths AND interests. You need both.

Oh, I almost fogot. Page breaks signify a) a change in location b) significant passing of time or c) switching focus from one character to another. There's an example in chapter sixteen, I think, where, mid-way through a conversation, I switch between Ianto's thoughts of self-loathing, to Alex's guilt and paranoia. Hope that clears it up.

**picky and paranoid:** As always, glad you liked it. Up until 2007, Australia's Prime Minister was John Howard, a boring, bigoted man who looks like a wrinkled old chimp. Our new PM is Kevin Rudd, who has, among other things, signed the Kyoto Protocol (which is important) and apologized to the indigenous Australian populaton for this rather embarassing little child-stealing fiasco that occured some years ago. Unfortunatly, he looks like a pig in a wig. So there, now you ALL know. Go tell your friends and family.

**Fairy-Tales123: **Yup, nothing better than friends with benefits, and I imagine Jack, rather than being ticked off, is gonna want a slice of that action. And, knowing Jack, he'll probably get it too. Actually finding him is the _least_ of their worries.

**DISCLAIMER: **I hereby disclaim Torchwood and all stuff of or pertaining to Torchwood. Hopefully, this will be enough to get the nerds who DO own it to stop sending me threats and hatemail. They could at least stop using such big words.

**WARNING: **Three flavours of angst: post-coital, pre-violence and dissent-in-the-ranks angst. It's like 'Angstin' Robbins' over here. Thankfully it won't last. I have to run out of angst-cream _eventually_. Ha! Get it? _ice_-cream, _angst_-cream? I should do stand up.

**FUN FACT:** Torchwood is an awesome show. What? It is! Gimme a friggin break, I've been bustin my hump for you people! Now shut the fuck up and read!

**SEVENTEEN: TRAPS, LAPS & SNAPS**

Alex sat silently, back resting against the headboard, arms wrapped around sheet-draped legs. He glanced over at the still-sleeping form of Ianto, whose skin had taken on a pearly sheen in the light of the early morning sun. He let his head fall against his knees. He shouldn't have done it, he realized that now. Stupid, sexy Ianto with his wicked hands and magic mouth and- bad brain! Stop it now! God this was complicated. Sex made everything complicated.

When Ianto found out that Jack was dead, and because of him too, Alex doubted that forgiveness would be very forthcoming. In fact, by sleeping with Ianto, he had compounded the sin, betraying him in more ways than one. Especially since, forgiveness or not, Alex had no intention of sticking around. He _liked_ Ianto, a lot, (the man was sex on legs, whether he knew it or not) and would be happy to have the occasional (daily) roll in the hay, but it wasn't like they were in a _relationship_ or anything. And eventually, he would have to leave.

Alex had no delusions of grandeur. He wasn't a saint, he was officially _dead_, a thief, a killer _and_, not to put too fine a point on it, a slut. The only reason he even continued to use his real name was because nobody would make the connection between the uncouth youth and the sweet, lovable child who had been forgotten all those years ago…

A hot prickling sensation flared up behind his eyes, threatening the onset of tears. Alex hated that feeling, mostly because the tears never came, even if he wanted them to. When was the last time he had cried? Oh, right, when he had first woken up in that horrible, cold, white room, with halogen lights, and all those strange adults with faces of stone. Truth be told, he had cried on and off for a fortnight, until he had almost killed himself with dehydration. After that, he just…stopped. Oh sure, if someone poked him in the eyes, they'd water, but that didn't count.

Back to the problem at hand: there was, he supposed, the option of skipping town right now and never coming back. But, in a rare moment of personal honesty, Alex realized that he didn't _want_ to leave…yet. And there was the fact that Nina was still lurking around, and he was the only one who even had a chance of taking the bitch down. The least he could do was retrieve Jack's body, so that they could give him a decent…whatever it was Torchwood did with bodies. File them, probably. Under 'C' for corpse.

Finally reaching a decision, and feeling much better for having done so, Alex swung his legs off the bed and crept silently into the living room. His freshly laundered clothes lay on the coffee table, pressed and folded. He dressed quickly and quietly, stopping briefly on his way out the door to scribble a short note on the pad of paper near the phone.

* * *

The midday sun filtered through dark clouds, bathing the docks in a gloomy, gray half-light. Now that he knew the way, the walk had not, in fact been all that long. It was possible to see Cardiff Bay from Ianto's apartment. Alex strolled along the Queen Alexandra dock, torn between bursting into every warehouse to see if Nina was hiding in them, and keeping quiet to maintain an element of surprise. Luckily, the area was mostly deserted. But that was hardly surprising. It was common knowledge that any work to be had on any dock, _anywhere_ was mostly late night and early morning stuff.

About halfway down (or up) the walkway, Alex noticed that one of the gigantic warehouse doors was slightly ajar. Of course, with doors that size, it would be difficult not to notice. He veered off course and poked his head through the gap between doors.

The black lump on the far side of the warehouse was the only indication he needed. Without hesitation he sprinted to it, slowing to a halt as it became more defined, and the grisly detail became clear. It was like something out of a ritualistic sacrifice. Jack's body was propped in the air by two sharp stakes that had been driven straight through it. His head lolled backwards, mouth hanging open. His limbs were splayed in all directions, and blood had blossomed from the gaping chest wounds, staining his clothes.

Forcing down the bile that surged in his gut, Alex knelt by the corpse and wrapped his hands around the stake in Jack's chest. For some reason, doing it manually seemed a bit more…respectful. He paused briefly when he noted that Jacks broken body seemed to have mysteriously healed itself overnight. He shrugged. Probably Nina's sick idea of a joke, and he wasn't about to let her fuck him around with her mind games.

"C'mon, big boy." Alex said conversationally as he worked, trying to fill in the silence "Rise and shine." The stake refused to budge. "Somehow, I get the feeling that you aren't putting in a whole lotta effort." He shuffled on his knees, around to Jack's head and pushed the stiff, unmoving captain into a sitting position, before standing and walking back to Jack's front. He resumed his hold on the spike and placed a (thankfully) sneaker-covered foot on one of Jack's broad shoulders.

"Y'know," Alex mused "for an agency that deals with extra-terrestrials, I haven't seen many around. And why come to Wales anyway?" All he received in response was a glassy-eyed stare "Listen to me, talking to a cadaver! Now I know I'm crazy." Whether it was guilt, or insanity, Jack's unseeing eyes had taken on an accusatory quality…

"Ianto and I slept together." Alex blurted out, before he could stop himself "well I say _slept_. There wasn't actually a whole lot of sleeping going on. I know you and him have kind of a _thing_. Relax, I'm not gonna get in the way." Alex snorted mirthlessly "I don't even like him…Well…I like him, but I don't _like_ like him." He sighed. Why was he trying so hard to explain himself? And to a corpse, no less. "What I mean is…this…thing, between Ianto and I, it's just meaningless…animal…sex. In fact, the only difference between you and me is that I like to cuddle afterwaaaaards!" the stake came free with a squelching pop, and Jack flopped back to the floor. Surprised, Alex toppled backwards, landing smack-bang on his backside.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed, sitting up and rubbing his abused rear-end with his free hand. Of all the places he could have landed on, on all the days he could have landed on it! Why that part? Why today? Hadn't it suffered enough? "Ow. Ow. Ow." Alex winced with each step as he approached Jack a second time. Standing with one foot either side of Jack's hips, he looked down at Jack whose face was frozen in a look of wide-eyed, open-mouthed surprise.

"You look like a blow-up doll when you make that face." He snorted "Yuck! Did I just think that?" He bent down and grabbed each of Jack's large hands, and pulled him back into position. "And now your face is on my crotch." Alex sighed irritably "Fantastic." He scrubbed a hand down his own face "Well, things could always get worse, I suppose."

A chillingly familiar voice echoed through the empty warehouse.

"Believe me, they're about to."

* * *

"Is that all it says?" Gwen asked, taking the paper from Ianto's hands. She turned it over, then back, and read the hastily scrawled message aloud "'Gone to get Jack'?"

"It's stupid is what it is." Owen sneered "If what Alex told Ianto is the truth, and I doubt that very much, then Jack is also being held captive by that psycho, Nina."

"Maybe it's a trap." Toshiko added.

"Who for?" Owen asked "For all we know, those two circus freaks are in it together!"

"You mean two teenagers from _outside_ the United Kingdom have joined forces to stage an outrageously elaborate ruse, as part of a plot to take down a secret government organization that deals almost exclusively with UFO _hoaxes_ and consists of five people?" Gwen asked, bitingly "I expect that sort of plot in poorly-written fan fiction."

"What reason could Alex have to deceive us?" Toshiko argued "He just fell out of the sky, and into our laps!"

"Into _one_ lap, anyway." Owen turned and pointed an accusatory finger at Ianto. "Well?"

"Well what?" Ianto asked, leaning back to avoid getting poked in the nose.

"Didya screw 'im?"

"Yes." Ianto replied, not about to let Owen make him feel guilty for getting laid. "Twice. Not that it's any of _your_ business." And it had been damn good.

"Wow." Gwen breathed "Owen's lucky if he even manages _once_." Toshiko fell forward, onto the table, unable to contain her uncharacteristically raucous laughter. Ianto allowed himself a small smile.

"My point remains valid!" Owen yelled over Toshiko's hysterics. "What proof do we have that he _isn't_ trying to destroy us?"

"If he wanted to, couldn't he have done it a hundred times over already?" Ianto pointed out.

"If he likes us so much, why didn't he just tell us straight out where Jack is?" Owen's voice was starting to squeak, a sure sign of anger.

"Look," Toshiko reasoned, finally coming down from her fit of giggles "whether it's a trap or not, it's the only clue we've got to the whereabouts of either of them. I say we follow it." She turned to Ianto "Can you remember anything that might help? Something Alex might have said?"

Ianto thought back over the night. Sex had tired them out so much that they had both fallen asleep straight afterwards, and before that, Alex had said barely two words to him all evening. He hadn't even said hello; it was '_Good, you're home. I walked all the way here from the Hub. And I ran all the way __**there **__from_-'

"The docks!" Ianto exclaimed "That's the last place he mentioned!"

"It's as a good a place as any." Gwen said, snatching the keys to the SUV off the table before Owen could get at them. "Let's go." They all walked purposefully to the exit, grabbing their coats off the rack on the way.

"I'm supposed to be in charge when Jack's not here." Owen grumbled, trailing behind.

* * *

It was hard to imagine a more embarrassing scenario; being confronted by an arch-nemesis, in a dark, dirty warehouse, with a dead man's face nestled comfortably against his groin. Comfortable for the dead guy, that is, not for Alex. For Alex, things were becoming decidedly, and increasingly _un_comfortable. Alex released Jack's hands, only to have the man's face push harder against him. Alex swore under his breath. Jack had _better_ be dead, cause if he wasn't, Alex was gonna kill him. Nina circled him like a cat around a fishbowl.

"Odd." She said "you don't _seem_ to be panicking."

"One five is five." Alex mumbled to himself. It was this, or shriek like a girl.

"Excuse me?" Nina raised an eyebrow.

"Two fives are ten." Alex continued, not hearing her "Three fives are fifteen. Four fives are twenty."

* * *

Nina scowled. This was _not_ how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to fear her! Why wasn't he fearing her?

"Five fives are twen-"

"Snap out of it!" She commanded, cuffing Alex across the head. He blinked and looked at Nina.

"You trapped me!"

"Finally, we're getting somewhere." Nina smiled humourlessly "Yes. It's a trap; how clever of you to figure it out." She paused for effect before continuing. "When Leif did not return, I realized that you must have felled him somehow, and that you would soon return for your 'friend'." She smiled and shook her head, as if she found his antics somehow endearing. "That is your weakness. What a ridiculous concept friendship is. I mean, think about it. You walked into a trap, forfeited your life, for a _friend_." Her smile widened into a crooked as her eyes narrowed. "Just like Sam."

* * *

"Leave him out of this." Alex warned, his jaw setting firm, hands curling unconsciously into fists. Nina ignored him.

"He came back, not long after you escaped." She laughed. "He was going to _rescue_ you, can you imagine that?" Tears of mirth rolled down her cheeks.

"Shut up." Poisonous fury coiled in his gut like a spring, winding tighter and tighter with every word that left her mouth.

"He was barely through the front door when I got a hold of him."

Tighter…

"He actually had the effrontery to try and _interrogate _me. Me!"

_Tighter…_

"We dueled, briefly. I won, of course. His mind was clearly elsewhere."

_**Tighter…**_

"And so was his head, when I finished with him."

"SHUT UP!" Alex sailed in blindly with his right arm, striking Nina in the jaw. Stunned, but not hurt, she fell to the floor. With a snarl he leapt on her, punching and kicking through a haze of red, giving no thought to whether he landed a blow on her or not, screaming with every blow he dealt. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup!"

TBC

A/N: There you go, signed and sealed. Unlike Alex, I _can_ cry, and probably will if you don't review. Seriously, there could be tears! I need food... Later taters! Am I lame or what?


	18. Worth The Wait?

A/N: Holy Fuck! I'm turning into one of those inconsiderate authors I hate, and I don't even have a good excuse! Well, aside from the fact that I enrolled in a Professional and Creative Writing course in a TAFE (aka: University for Morons). I was sceptical at first, but now I'm really having a great time. All my teachers are professional, successful authors, and I'm getting a lot out of it. Anywho, Chapter Eighteen is finally HERE! And I would like to say 'thank you' to everyone who has ben patiently waiting up to now, and apologise for the shortness and general lack of quality. I'm rushing it a bit now, so I can get started on the sequel.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to **InsanityamI** and **Darmok**, whose reviews prompted me to get my butt in gear.

**Amelia McDermid: **As always, first to review. Even when I post something at three am, which begs the following question; "What do you do that you have to be up so early for?" Sorry to pry, but my curiosity must be sated.

**Kateg123: **'Endearing'. I like your choice of words. I agree that Jack/Ianto is stale, but I will never, ever, EVER write Jack/Gwen. It's sick, wrong and vile. I certainly never read it. If Jack/Gwen becomes canon, I may shoot my television out of rage. I mean, you'd think the stupid bitch would've learned her lesson by now, and that Jack, despite being a glorified man-whore, would show SOME integrity. Especially after coming down on her and Owen in 'EOD'. Jack is many things, but he is NOT a hypocrite. I get far too angry about this, so I shall now move on.

**picky and paranoid:** Not _met_, exactly, but he's been mentioned (in chapter twelve, I think). He's a somewhat enigmatic figure from Alx's past, who we will learn more about in the sequel. Legendary musician that he is, I'm sure David Bowie has great taste, and that Arcade Fire is very good. This is the first I've heard of them, sadly. What do they play?

**Tomkat: **Obviously you missed my 'anti-Mpreg' rant. Though I admit the image does give the chuckles. I don't think there will even be 22 chapters, this is on it's last legs.

**Kazz the 13th: **'Reapers'! Thank you! That was niggling at me the whole time I was writing that chapter. I didn't mean to imply that you would wish to discourse on such unsavoury topics. I hope I haven't offended you, or worse, lost you as a reader.

**coffeemagic: **Visible from space, huh? Neat. An epic poem may be a bit much though. Maybe just a short sentance carved into the moon?

**notoriousreviewer: **I'm sure **coffeemagic** is really a pussycat, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay deep down. Deeper than the Grand Canyon, perhaps, but it's still there. I hope you got into the school you wanted, or have at least found that your alternative wasn't so bad. I was sorry to hear about your menstrual cramps...and I apologize again for mentioning them here, for everyone to see...I'm the only guy in my immediate family (dad lives in tasmania), so I'm well acquanted with how unpleasant thay can be for EVERYONE concerned. I've been feeling slightly guilty about your comment: 'I envy you non-American people', because I, technically, do not fit into that category, and as such, should not be envied. My father is from Kansas, and I have American citizenship. Phew! It feels so good to get that off my chest! Maybe we should start up an 'Americans Anonymous' club, or something.

**Firell:** You don't post? You should. I hope you will, I'd love to read some half-decent OC fics. They are few and far between. I am yet to see the second season of Torchwood (don't know when or if it even reaches Australian shores), so until I see these Tosh-related niceties, Owen will always be a complete tool. On that note, nobody tell me anything that happens in season 2. I may well get 'Machete-wielding Maniac' on your butts.

**Aelee: **As my only reviewer that I know in real life, I feel comfortable saying this: YOU PROMISED ONE REVIEW FOR EVERY CHAPTER! WHERE ARE THEY? Do you want to see me cry? Is that it? Well mission accomplished!

**InsanityamI:** That line is really popular for some reason. It was SUPPOSED to be corny and lame, but meh. You probably all got that, or there's some deeper,more sophisticated level of humour in this fic that I'm not aware of.

**Darmok: **Slightly dodgey? I guess I should be glad you didn't say 'total fucking trainwreck'. I'm aware that this isn't my best work. I've said as much. Still,in my opinion, there are worse things: for example, black licqorice, any song by Maroon5 and 'Top Gun'. I really HATE 'Top Gun'. I'd rather be subjected to gang rape. At least that would be something NEW.

**DISCLAIMER: **Sure, I own Torchwood. I also live in a palace made of candy, from which I rule over the entire Candy Kingdom, as the Candy King. And I have a pet dragon, who is ALSO made out of candy. I call him Steven.

**WARNINGS: **Here's a novel idea: go back and read the warnings for ANY other chapter, just to refresh your memory. May I suggest Sixteen? It's my personal favourite, as it contains my first efforts at a sex scene, as well as my first efforts at male/male ANYTHING.

**FUN FACT:** 'Torchwood' is an anagram of 'Doctor Who'. Bet you didn't know THAT.

**EIGHTEEN: WORTH THE WAIT?**

Alex's whole world lurched as he found his arms suddenly pinned behind his back, face ground into the cold, filthy floor. Nina leaned down, pressing her full weight on him, her breath cold and clammy on his neck as she cooed in his ear.

"That's right," she whispered "get angry. Hate me."

"I already hate you." Alex ground out, struggling to breathe as she pressed a knee between his shoulder blades.

"Not enough." She bucked, giving him slight relief before slamming him down on the floor again, riding him like a rocking horse. "Not nearly enough." She giggled "Let it boil and fester in you, poison yourself with hatred, hatred for the person who butchered your only friend." She leaned in closer; Alex squirmed, trying to distance himself as best he could. "I smeared the walls with his blood and then mopped it up with his hair."

"You're sick." Alex spat, tipping sharply onto his side and ramming her in the ribs with his free elbow. Her grip slackened and he rolled free, pushing himself to his feet.

* * *

Ianto wandered around the docks, attention torn between looking for Alex and listening intently to his headset, incase someone else had found him already. He was incredibly nervous, panicking at the slightest noise, secretly afraid that around the next corner, he would find a dead Alex, or a permanently dead Jack. Gwen's voice buzzed in his ear.

"I haven't found anything in my quarter, maybe they've already left."

"Or maybe they were never 'ere." Owen's voice sounded even whinier and high pitched than usual.

"Nothing in my area either," Toshiko said "you see anything, Ianto?"

He was just about to reply in the negative when an echoing thump and a metallic ringing struck him as suddenly as a blow to the jaw. He turned in the direction from which it had come to see that the huge doors of one of the warehouses had been flung wide open. Considering the sheer size of them, this was highly unusual. He had little time to focus on it however as a dark shape loomed in his vision and knocked him to the ground. He and the dark object rolled across the concrete, coming right to the edge, halting just before both plunged into the murky waters of the bay. Ianto found himself pinned under the object, which was surprisingly warm and appeared to be moving. Suddenly, the darkness lifted and he realized he was just looking at a jacket, very, _very_ close up. Then hands were groping at him awkwardly as the jacket shuffled down his body to become, briefly, an expanse of skin before he found himself staring into green eyes.

"Hi."

* * *

Alex leaned back, staring at Ianto, wide-eyed, as if the man had just sprung up from nowhere which, from his point of view, was actually the case. He responded with the first thing he could come up with.

"So, come here often?"

"Actually, yes," Ianto rolled Alex off him and stood up, brushing concrete dust of his jacket "surprisingly often, in fact. You'd be amazed how much rift activity occurs right here in the docks."

"Rift activity?"

* * *

"Didn't we tell you? I was sure Jack would have mentioned it. There's a rift in time and space running right through Cardiff."

"Ianto, duck." Ianto looked up to see Alex was not in fact paying attention to a word he had just said, and was staring at a point several inches to the left of eye contact.

"What?"

"I said _duck_!" Alex turned and leapt on Ianto, tackling him to the ground as a steel shipping container whizzed overhead with the speed and sound of a jet engine, missing them by less than a metre.

"She doesn't have more of those, does she?"

* * *

Before Alex could reply, the sound of shoes on concrete heralded Nina's approach. Alex hauled himself to his feet and launched into a stumbling run, with Ianto on his heels, neither of them daring to look back. He slowed to a halt in a shadowed area between two warehouses when he heard Ianto, who was doubled over, wheezing. As fit as he was, Alex supposed Ianto wasn't used to running. Reasoning that it would take Nina some time to find them in this steel maze, he too decided to take a breather.

"Where are the others?" He asked "You didn't come on your own, did you?"

"We split up; they're all in different parts of the docks." Alex slumped against a wall and slid to the concrete. He closed his eyes, trying to reach the state of inner calm that he had to maintain in order to keep his abilities under control. He hated the fact that Nina got under his skin so easily. He doubted that ending her life would be enough to extinguish her entire existence. The bitch would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. He was distracted from his meager attempt at meditation by the feel of cool, tapered fingers running gently over his face.

"What are you doing?" He scowled, pushing Ianto's hands away. They returned with a vengeance.

"Checking you for injuries." That comment brought the image of a stiff (as in dead) Jack screaming into the forefront of Alex's mind

"There's something I have to tell you," Alex plunged headlong into his confession, not giving himself time to change his mind "Jack-"

"Can take care of himself." Ianto interrupted "It's you I'm worried about."

"I'm _fine_. Accelerated healing, remember? Jack's dead."

Ianto's reaction proved, once again, just how little Alex knew about his, for lack of a more tasteful title, 'fuck-buddy'. Of all the reactions he had expected (which ranged anywhere from a punch in the face to a violent stroke), Ianto's wasn't even on the list.

"I'm sure he'll be fine."

"What?" Alex bit his tongue to stop himself from screaming and giving away their position. "Are you listening to me? He's not off on his first day of school, he's _dead_, actually _dead_. I saw him. Dead."

"Yes, I heard you the first time."

"Aren't you angry at me?" Alex asked, moving out of the realm of fury, into one of bewilderment.

"No. Should I be?"

"Yes! It's my fault!" Alex was nearly in hysterics. "He's dead because of ME!"

"He'll get over it." Ianto shrugged.

"_He'll get over it?_" Alex was a simple nudge away from plummeting off the precarious cliffs of sanity, into the churning waters of madness.

"He always does."

* * *

Alex's train of thought, which happened to be just pulling in to 'I slept with a crazy-man' station, was derailed by the soft patter of sneakers on pavement and Gwen's (comparatively) soothing voice.

"Ianto, Alex, thank God!" She too was tired out from running clear from the other side of the docks, her face was pink with exertion. "When you didn't answer, we thought you'd been killed!"

Ianto lifted a hand to his Bluetooth headset, only to find it missing, most likely shaken loose when Alex tackled him. Gwen's headset buzzed suddenly, she grimaced.

"Owen, could you please try _not _to rupture my eardrums?" She paused as her headset erupted with annoyed squawking. "Yes, I found them, no, Jack isn't with them."

"Jack is DEAD!" Alex yelled at the top of his lungs, seeming to no longer care whether Nina heard him or not. Gwen's shoulders slumped.

"Not _again_," she groaned "honestly, sometimes I think he does it just to annoy us. C'mon, we might as well go find the others." With that she turned and trudged back in the direction she had come. Ianto followed her, Alex trailing behind, muttering darkly about being surrounded by lunatics.

A/N: I think I wrote more in review replies than I did actual fic...oh well. The important thing is that it's finally up, and it's not even midnight yet. Don't know about you upside-downers, but it's Friday night here, so I can stay upas late as I like. There are a lot of 'firsts' in this piece,which makes it quite dear to me. It's my first fan-fiction, my first work exposed to the public eye, my first story featuring any semi-serious romantic feelings and my first story featuring same-sex anything. I'm still working up the courage to do a hardcore one shot of chapter sixteen. Being a virgin (seriously), I'm not sure I should even attempt it. If one of YOU wants to have a whack at it, give me some notice and I'll give you permission.

over and out.


	19. Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot

A/N: This one's also a bit late, I know. Sorry about that. I've been busy with, y'know...homework and, and...chores...and...yeah. It has absolutely NOTHING whatsoever to do with 'FFXII: Revenant Wings' finally coming to Australian shores last week. I have NOT been playing video games. I just have many, many demands on my time...yeah...MOVING ON...

**kateg123: **Thanks. This doesn't have a particular timeline, but I'm setting it, I guess, post season 2 at least (which may make it slightly AU, but, in the words of Marge Simpson: "Whoopsie-doo! Who gives a bibble? Gabba gabba hey.") I figure by this point in time, they'd be less like: "Oh no, our beloved leader, what ever shall we do?" and more leaning towards: "Let's put his hand in a glass of warm water and see if it still works!" I could be way off base here, but if MY boss was immortal, I don't think I'd be too thrilled, personally.

So...you're a fan of the JackxGwen. Oh well. I stand by my argument. I think it could quite possibly ruin the show. For me at least. But just because I don't want to see it happen, or read about, doesn't mean I hate you for writing it. I may not agree with the ship you ship, but shall defend to the death your right to ship it (maybe not to the death, I'm a lily-livered, sissy coward). I was actually anticipating copping a lot of flak for writing an OC, so...yeah...I forget what I was gonna say. I read your 'CSI' stuff though. I laughed so hard my face hurt afterwards. Cop shows aren't my thing (never seen an episode of 'CSI' in my life), but if the characters are anything like you write them, I'd happily convert.

**Kazz the 13th:** I'm glad you found something to like about Nina. She was originally supposed to be a semi-likeable villainess (evil yet funny), but my muses slapped me about until I wrote what they wanted. I didn't anticipatepeople hating her as much as they turned out to. But really, one must consider the following points when judging her character: 1) She comes from the same place as Alex, but has been treated worse, 2) She's been manipulated and brainwashed since infancy and 3) She's completely and utterly bugfuck crazy. Part of this chapter was written in the hopes of drumming up some sympathy for her. Of course, now I've TOLD you that, it probably won't work.

**Amelia McDermid: **I'm glad I made you laugh. I try to insert humour in every chapter. I find that if angst drags on for too long, it just becomes whiny bullcrap, and readers switch off. I know I do.

**bbmcowgirl: **Hmmm...haven't thought that far honestly, but if I have my way (and I might not), there may be an "EEK, ZOMBIE!" in there somewhere...

**pickyandparanoid: **Yes, it was all a great big joke. I was saving that for when I ran out of real 'Fun Facts', which I now have. I think my new thing will be "Mortok Recommends" where I will recommend a Torchwood fic that everyone should read (or read again). I'm not familiar with much Indie music, but I like pretty much anything where the lyrics are more than screaming and gibberish. Oh, and the chapter? What did you think of the chapter? I'm dying to know!

**coffeemagic: **I wish this site would find a way to put those little dots and what-not in words. Everytime I see words like 'blase' or 'cliche' I get pissed off because they're technically mis-spelled, but there's nothing anyone can do about it. Maybe they'll let you build the moon-ladder if you promise to take it down right afterwards? Or maybe you could charge people money to climb up it, and drum up some tourism? Just so you know, I'm doing my best to think up more funny disclaimers.

**DISCLAIMER:** There is a slight chance that someone or other from the BBC is reading this (I know that if I were a widely published author, I'd wanna know what people were doing to MY characters). So just in case you ARE here: I DON'T OWN TORCHWOOD. I AM MERELY LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH A FICTIONAL CHARACTER WHO IS FITTER, HOTTER AND GENERALLY BETTER THAN I COULD EVER HOPE TO BE. But if you're gonna take me to court over it, you have to do it to everyone else. And lawyers are expensive. REALLY expensive. So I figure I'm safe.

**WARNING: **Slight angst, mild swearing, and not for any Torchwood fan who was particularly attached to the much-loved SUV. But if you love explosions, or hot blonds (which is the only thing the show really lacks, if you ask me), then go right ahead. Also, quite possibly my lamest chapter title yet.

**Mortok Recommends: **Cardiff Blues, written by one of my most consistent fans, Amelia McDermid. It's a damn good OC fic, with an intriguing plot, and it's already got five whole chapters, which is a good chunk of material if you haven't read it already. I really like it, so I'm anxious to see it become popular. Read it. Review it. You'll love it, I promise.

**NINETEEN: FEELING HOT, HOT, HOT**

Alex followed Gwen and Ianto into a large open space, empty save for a black SUV. Toshiko stood beside it while Owen leaned on the hood.

"This is the company car." Gwen indicated it with a wave of her hand.

"Really?" Alex asked, cocking an eyebrow at the embossed 'TORCHWOOD' lettering on the sides "I never would've guessed."

"Right, let's get goin' then." Owen moved to the driver's side car door.

"Wait, we're leaving?" Alex asked.

"You are." Toshiko corrected. "Even if you aren't quite human, you're still a civilian. Owen's dropping you off at the Hub, and then coming back here."

"What, are you _all_ crazy?" Alex demanded arms akimbo "First, you tell me you people can come back from the dead, t_hen_ you expect me to believe you can handle a super-powered psycho without me?"

"We've done it before." Toshiko shrugged.

"And it's not all of us." Gwen amended "Just Jack."

Alex's gaze fell on the sudden hand on his shoulder, travelling up the suit-clad arm to Ianto's face.

"Please get in the car, Alex." Ianto implored. Alex suspected he was deliberately using his sexy voice to force compliance "It's for your own good."

"Fine," Alex snarled, pulling away from Ianto's grip "Don't patronise me. I'm not a child." The edge to his voice clearly conveyed that he expected Ianto, of all people, to know this better than anyone. The hurt look on the older man's face told him the message had struck home. Without another word, Alex wrenched the door open, climbed in and slammed it shut.

* * *

Owen reached for his own door, only to yelp like a kicked puppy and pull his hand back and clutch it to his chest as though a snake had bit him. The others stared at him. He glared at them defensively. 

"I burned me 'and." He offered by way of explanation.

"Well, what do you expect?" Gwen shrugged "It's a black car, and it's not like we had time to look for a shady area."

"Yeah." Toshiko added "Suck it up, and quit being such a whiny little bitch." Ianto and Gwen stared at her in stunned surprise. She smiled shyly. "Well, he _is_."

"Yeah, we know." Ianto replied. "It's just that I think that's the first time we've ever heard you swear."

* * *

Alex sighed and leaned back in his seat, wishing that they'd just get on with it. Owen was right, though. It was literally stiflingly hot. His gaze flicked over the many dials and buttons on the dash. He wondered briefly how he was supposed to tell the difference between 'air-conditioning' and 'oil-slick'. This car had more buttons than every other car he'd been in _combined_. 

"Oh well, only one way to find out." Alex reached out for a likely-looking dial, only to cry out sharply and yank his hand back just as Owen had done. He sucked his burnt fingers into his mouth. They were already beginning to blister. God, the heat was unbearable! He glanced around for a way to open the window. Whatever happened to good old hand-cranks?

Finally, flushed and sweating, Alex resolved to open the door, and fuck the consequences. If they didn't want him around, he'd leave. But he'd be damned before he spent another minute in this…this...very hot vehicle that he was too flustered to think up a proper insult for right now. He grabbed at the door handle, blocking the pain from his mind and pulled as hard as he could.

Apart from very nearly dislocating his own shoulder, he achieved roughly dick. The bastards had locked him in! He wondered briefly if the money left over from that stripper gig would repair a broken window.

* * *

"Fine!" Gwen rolled her eyes "If you won't do it, I'll drive him back." She took the keys from Owen's outstretched hand and grabbed the doorhandle. She forced herself to keep her hand on the searing hot handle and tugged at it ineffectually. She pulled it again. "It's locked." 

"So unlock it." Ianto replied. "You have the keys."

"It's not locked," Toshiko added "I put my laptop in there just before you showed up, so it wouldn't get damaged if there was a fight."

* * *

Alex listened to the muffled conversation with growing dread. Didn't they know how to get him out? His temples were throbbing and he was crazy with thirst. He was starting to panic. Nina was out there somewhere, and he was trapped in a locked car that seemed to be getting hotter and hotter with every passing sec…oh shit. 

He looked over at the fuel gauge. So; he was trapped in a rapidly heating car, with a nearly full tank of petrol. Joy. He wriggled sideways in his seat, thankful, for once, for his slender build. He leaned back. The hand brake dug painfully into his back, but he ignored it. This wasn't about comfort, after all. He lifted his legs in the air, knees tucked into his chest. He kicked the door with both feet, putting all the force he could muster behind that one blow.

Not a dent. Not even a fucking scratch. Why couldn't they make cars out of something less durable? Like cardboard, for instance? He felt sickeningly dizzy. So much so that one might think he was trying to dent the door with his head instead. Pain lanced through his mind. He clutched at his head so hard that his nails bit into his scalp.

* * *

Owen whipped out his gun and fired several rounds at the rear window. Apart from a few black smudges, he'd made no obvious difference. 

"It's bullet-proof, you idiot." Ianto rolled his eyes.

"How was I supposed to know?"

"We make a living by fighting aliens." Toshiko interrupted "It's practically commonsense."

"Well, I don't see you lot coming up with any bright ideas!"

* * *

Alex struggled to collect his thoughts. It was getting difficult to breathe. Nina was a genius. Twisted and broken perhaps, but like shards of a cracked mirror, she possessed a skewed brilliance that could not be denied. She was slowly going to suffocate him, turning the SUV into a giant bomb at the same time. Five deaths and nothing to trace her to them, not even a strand of hair. His stomach churned. He and Nina were so alike. They'd had the same training, the same lessons. What had happened to her to make her so powerful, and so monstrous? Had she always been like this? Or had it been those cold, white coats with their busy hands? Warping and deforming the mind of an innocent girl, turning her into a sick, perverse mockery of humanity? 

He searched back through his memories for some clue, a hint; a kind gesture, a smile, a word, anything at all to suggest that she had ever been human. Nothing came to mind. The white-coats paired them up to stop them going insane from their own powers, didn't they? Nina had been his partner, and he had abandoned her in favour of secret meetings and fumbling, clumsy kisses. Had that done it? Was she like this because of him? He dry-heaved at the thought. All the while, when he had been off with Sam, Nina was slowly turning in on herself, her sanity devoured by her own abilities. Did that make it justice, then, if she killed him?

_Yes_.

He fell back, weakened by a combination of physical pain, and self-revulsion. Every murder on Nina's head was on his as well. In his mind, the sweat soaking through his clothes became blood. Jack's blood. _Jack's dead because of me_. He hadn't realised when he said them just how true the words were. Jack, Sam, and who knew how many other people; all dead because of him. And soon, there would be four more, five counting himself, which he didn't. Not anymore. But those four; they were important. Ianto, Toshiko, Gwen and, yes, even Owen. Could he really sit back and let himself die, knowing that their lives were in the bargain?

_Not bloody likely_.

He closed his eyes, rocked backwards, and lashed out with the combined strength of his body and mind.

* * *

Owen did a sort of hop-skip towards the SUV, hands wrapped around a length of pipe he had 'found' on the ground somewhere. He swung at the window of the passenger-side door with a blood-curdling, slightly girly scream. He hit the ground with a soft thump, finding himself pinned to the ground by a car door. It didn't hurt exactly, but the length of pipe was digging painfully into his groin. 

He looked up to see a wild-eyed, pink-faced, sweat-soaked Alex gasping like a fish out of water. He didn't even glance at Owen, but instead dragged himself out of the car, and fell onto the pavement before clambering to his feet. The SUV door was lifted off him and flung who knows where. Alex helped Owen to his feet, the most physical contact they'd had since they met, barring both times when he'd been unconscious.

They all stared at him as he tried to speak, but all that came out was a series of harsh rasps, accompanied by violent hand gestures. Alex rubbed at his throat and tried again. Still nothing. Rolling his eyes at what he apparently considered their abysmal failure to communicate; Alex grabbed Ianto by the arm and tried to lead him away from the car. Realising that this approach wasn't as effective as he might have hoped, Alex let the arm drop and mimed drinking. Ianto, always prepared, no matter the situation, produced a small bottle of water from somewhere on his person.

Alex grabbed it, snapping the lid and bottle-neck off in one go . After downing half of it without taking a single breath, while the rest splashed over his face, he hacked and coughed wetly before finally clearing his throat.

"Run." He gasped, waving his hands, like he was trying to grab the words he needed out of thin air. When they didn't move, he said it again. "RUN!" Then, without waiting for them, he sprinted from the car as if Ianto had caught him messing with the coffee maker.

* * *

Seeming to finally sense the urgency in his words, they scattered in separate directions. The 'to' wasn't important, it was the '_from_' that mattered. And with an ear-splitting roar, and a concussive blast that sent Alex flying, face first, into the pavement, the from became very important indeed. 

TBC

A/N: This thing is turning out to be longer than I ever thought it would be. But the end is close and coming closer. I should be able to get to the sequel...sometime before I DIE. Please R&R, even if it's just to complain. Reviews are like choclate/sex/crack/caffeine to me (pick the one that most applies to you). Seriously, whenever I see a new review, I get this big idiot grin on my face, and I end up looking like I just got outta botox or somethin'.


	20. Can't Believe They Fell For It

A/N: Yeesh. I started and restarted this chapter a gazillion times, it just didn't wanna be written! Sorry for making you wait so long, but since I've kinda been writing this on the fly, things are constantly being reworked to fit with the rest of the story. I hope you forgive me. Although I have been avoiding homework and job-finding to write this, so you'd also better be grateful.

Sorry for the shortness, and if this chapter seems a bit contrived, that's because it is. But hey, even I'm not perfect.

And...uh...thanks again for being so patient with me.

**picky and paranoid: **A crazy genius. And yes, i invented the scenario. As far as I know, no such situation has ever occured in fiction or real life. But I DO know that petrol is explosive, so don't know why it COULDN'T happen either. It's been raining a lot in Melbourne lately, but I think its actually a really good thing. Sheets of ice !? Awesome. I have to visit you sometime. Too bad I'm flat broke.

**kateg123: **It's true. Reviews love. And I know it's odd to read a fanfic of a show you don't watch. But it was that or JackxGwen, and no matter how good the writing, the pairing just makes me nauseous. I know how you feel about the "Ship Wars" too. As faras I'm concerned, "Don't Like, Don't Read" is the best policy. Sorry I didn't update soon enough, but you must know how it is.

**coffeemagic: **Ah yes, the curative powers of Ianto-jumping. All the effectiveness (and twice the fun) of Jack's 'Kiss of Life'. And yes, Ianto does seem the type to have whatever you need whenever you need it, doesn't he? Today's disclaimer isn't my best, but I'll do my best to think up some new ones.

**robjimbobjam: **I'm not sure Alex is the most realistic character in the world, but thanks. At least he isn't one of those annoying little Mary Sues who knows everything about everything. I hate them so much it's insane. I know what you mean about avoiding OC fics. What made you check out this one, I wonder?

**bbmcowgirl: **Alex knows they mean well, but that doesn'tmean he has to like it! Of course, his actions this chapter may make him seem like a bit of a hypocrite, but aren't we all, just a little? Sorry, but the cause for the car's explosion has no basis in science. I just couldn't be arsed to do the research. And have no fear, there will be a sequel if it kills me, and my plans for a third are all sorted, as long as no.2 doesn't take any unexpected turns.

**Kazz the 13th: **Of course you can use it! I've never had a joke that someone else wanted to use before! I'm so excited! Owen just seems like a girly-screamer to me, but whatever. Sorry to dissappoint, but there is no way in hell that you'll ever see a photo of me. My hatred for cameras is so powerful that they blow up in my presence. Normally I look fine, but photos? No, just no.

**Amelia McDermid: **I know I didn't HAVE to recommend your fic, but I really do like it. Unfortunatly, I can't recommend any new fics, as I've been avoiding reading them so the second season isn't spoiled for me, but there are some old ones I love that I plan to advertise on here.

**Ne'ith5: **Hurrah! Where have you been? I thought I'd lost you. You haven't reviewed in the LONGEST time! But you're back now, so all is forgiven (truth be told, I thought is was something I said). This fic serves mainly as an introduction to my OC,and the development of characters, relationship issues (if any) will carry over to the sequel, where they may or may not be resolved.

**el-retardo69: **Nice name. Sorry, but I'm not kiling off any canon characters. I actually feel sorry for Gwen, I don't think her character's full potential has been explored (at least, not in the first season). As much as I hate her for sleeping with Owen and betraying Jack, I also think that was when she was the most interesting.

**DISCLAIMER: **Torchwood is owned by BBC, Russel T. Davies and a whole lotta people that AREN'T me, as much as it hurts me to say it. And despite me efforts, that ain't about to change.

**WARNINGS:** Um, flirting and mentions of bondage? Nothing VERY bad.

**Mortok Recommends: **'The Jabberwocky' AND 'The Musicbox' by **coffeemagic**, whenever I read them, I make unmanly noises that may or may not be laughing. But they're definitly good noises.

Here's Chapter Twenty, have fun!

**TWENTY: CAN'T BELIEVE THEY FELL FOR IT**

Ianto picked himself up off the ground. His ears were ringing, and his suit jacket had been shredded by shrapnel. His nostrils were filled with the stench of burning rubber, and what was poking him in the hip? He reached into his pocket and pulled out a curved steel band. Now where had he seen it before? Oh, right, when he'd been doing Alex's laundry. He'd emptied the jacket pockets, as he always did when washing laundry, and had found it and the other half, which seemed to fit together somehow.

What was odd was that he still got an odd sense of déjà vu when he looked at them. Why was it so familiar? He had put the curved bits of metal in his own jacket, intending to go through the archives, and the store of alien artefacts in Jack's office, to see if they had anything similar, but, having woken to find Alex missing, had forgotten all about it.

He slipped the items back into his pocket when he heard Alex groaning a few metres away. He wasn't sure how Alex would react if he found out Ianto had essentially stolen from him.

The boy's hands and face were scraped and bleeding, but already the wounds were healing over. Ianto might have been a little unnerved, if he hadn't seen Jack do it a million times. Elsewhere amongst the wreckage, Gwen and Owen were coming to.

Toshiko had been on her feet for some time it seemed, and was sifting through the wreckage.

She dived under what was left of the roof and came up with her black laptop bag. It was a bit singed, but otherwise, miraculously unharmed. Owen groaned as he sat up.

"What the _fuck_" he demanded angrily "was that?"

"Pyrokinesis?" Toshiko asked, looking to Alex for confirmation. The boy nodded.

"And what the fuck is 'pyrokinesis'?" Owen demanded again, turning to Toshiko.

"The speeding up of the naturally occurring vibration of atoms to alter temperature, to the point of ignition, if combustible."

"And you can't get much more combustible than a tank of petrol." Alex added.

"I take it this is more of your witchcraft, then?" Owen sneered.

* * *

"Well, technically Nina's, but yes." Alex replied, choosing to ignore the witchcraft comment…_this_ time.

"She must be nearby then, yes?" Gwen brushed the concrete dust off her jeans as she asked this.

"I don't think so." Alex was surprised that he felt as calm as he sounded. It was like being in the eye of the storm; a moment of perfect tranquillity in a vortex of chaos. "She has more range than me. She could be anywhere."

"So what do we do now?"

"We still have to get Jack back." Alex insisted, his determination not lessened, despite almost being blown up.

"We?" Ianto asked, raising an eyebrow at Alex.

"Did I say we?" Alex hurriedly amended "I meant you guys. _You_ go get Jack, while _I_ stay here and guard the…" he looked around and sighed "rubble."

"Alright, let's go," Owen ordered turning and motioning for the others to follow. He stopped and turned back. "Where _is _Jack again?"

"He's in the warehouse where Ianto found me."

"I know the way," Ianto offered, taking Owen's hand as though he were a child and leading them away. As soon as the others were out of sight, Alex cracked his knuckles decisively.

"Nina?" He called out the empty space "You can come out now."

* * *

Ianto grimaced in distaste as his footsteps raised dust clouds that settled back on his no longer polished shoes. Behind him, he heard the rustle and clicks as the others drew and cocked their pistols. They were probably keeping an eye out for more mutant teenagers leaping out of the walls, but he only had eyes for Jack.

The first time he'd seen Jack die, he cried. A lot. The second time had been even worse, but now, after so many occurrences, his response had evolved into a sort of numbness, as though he had gone into shock. His heart would seem to stop beating, and his breathing shallow and restricted. He knew from the way the others failed to notice that his appearance never betrayed him, but every time Jack returned, Ianto's entire body exhaled with ecstatic relief.

Ignoring the others as they crowded around, Ianto knelt beside Jack's body. Nearby lay a broken, blood-stained chair leg and another was standing upright in Jack's abdomen like a flag in a sandcastle. He wrapped both hands around the top, and with a sharp twist, jerked it out. Nothing. The two gaping holes still glared out at him like angry red eyes. It was Gwen who moved first, as usual.

She leaned over and reached over and slapped Jack lightly on the cheek.

"Jack?" her voice was pleading and desperate. Ianto sympathised, but couldn't help but think she sounded like a whining pig. Then he reprimanded himself for his unnecessary jealousy.

"Jack?" Gwen tried again. "Wake up. Please?"

Still nothing. It normally didn't take this long. What if-

"**RAWR**!"

Gwen fell back, screaming. Jack clutched his sides and laughed, rolling around on the floor.

"Oh man!" He gasped, in between chuckles "I've always wanted to do that!"

"That was not funny!" Gwen chided, picking herself up off the ground.

"It was kinda funny." Jack said standing himself as his wounds closed over, revealing perfect, unmarred skin through the holes in his shirt. Ianto suppressed a small smile.

Jack turned to the Welshman, turning his grin up several notches, until the little needle was quivering in the red zone, and his jaw nearly broke with the strain.

"Why, Mr. Jones, is that a piece of curved metal in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?"

"Um…both?"

* * *

Alex watched unflinchingly as Nina blinked into existence, her black, skin-tight suit and combat boots gleamed in the sunlight, in stark contrast to her dull, paper-white skin. Her eyes were once again void of all emotion.

"Do you really think you're saving them, sending them away like that?" She asked "I can always kill them later."

"There won't _be_ a later." Alex folded his arms. Nina froze. Her lip curved in a crooked, sneering smile.

"_You _mean to kill _me_?"

"If that's what it takes." Alex shrugged "I'm not about to let you hurt more people."

"You've weakened yourself by fraternizing with these insects." Nina waved a hand in his direction, knocking him to the ground to illustrate her point. "You've become like them." She stood over him "I'm going to crush you like every other bug I've met"

"If I'm so weak, how come you couldn't kill me?" Alex asked, looking up at her. "How come my brain didn't just burst in my head?"

"A mere anomaly." Nina shrugged dismissively "A fluke. One survivor of a million victims. Rest assured, it won't happen again."

"No," Alex agreed, flipping to his feet and bringing his fists up in a fighting stance "It won't."

* * *

Jack examined the metal pieces Ianto had turned over to him. He recognised them from their smooth feel, and the slight dent of a keyhole.

"This is Alex's collar."

"Alex has a collar?" Ianto asked. His eyes meet Jack's. He felt his cheeks grow warm at Jack's lecherous smile. Clearly, they were both envisioning the same scenario.

"What does the collar do?" Gwen asked, interrupting Ianto's vivid, and finely detailed bondage fantasy. He found himself hating her for the second time in five minutes.

"It inhibits his abilities." Jack explained "And electrocutes him if he tries to use them." Ianto's fantasy took on a whole new dimension at those words, only to be interrupted once more, this time by Toshiko.

"That's perfect!" She exclaimed. The others stared at her. "All we have to do is get Nina to stay still for a second, and then we slap it 'round her neck! Mission accomplished!"

"Which brings us to an interesting point;" Owen spoke up for the first time since entering the warehouse "where _is _Nina?"

They all stared at each other as it slowly dawned. Then they spoke in unison.

"Fuck."

TBC

A/N: Still not over (sigh). But never mind, the end is nigh. I'm watching 'Hairspray' for like, the eleventh time in three days (is that wierd?). It just never gets old! Amanda Bynes, John Travolta in a dress, awesome music, is there anything NOT brillaint about this film? And Zac Ephron actually looks healthy, unlike the bulemorexic she-man in "High School Musical" and its sequels. I swear, those films are sins against nature.

Anyway, read and review!


	21. Now What?

A/N: I'm now severely pissed off. Just after all my editing and review replies and stuff was done, my computer had seizure, and the stupid fucking document is back the way it was!! So, if my replies seem short, rest assured that the originals were much longer.

Anyway, it must be nice to see me back at the top of my game, when previously, you've had to wait so long between chapters. Of course, the downside is that the end is now further away then it was when I started this chapter! Rember when I said chapter ten was the halfway mark? Well, it isn't anymore. Every time I write a chapter now, I'm thinking "just two more chapters, just two more chapters" and every time, it ends up being three! I'm sure you guys don't mind, but it's a little frustrating for me. At this rate, I'll NEVER be finished!

Also, this chapter is longer, to make up for last night's.

**Amelia McDermid: **You blushed? Again? How awesome for me! And how embarassing for you. Seriously, though, I'm glad that people react like this to my writing. I'm glad you're having fun writing your story, and since the first time wirting a sex scene can be tricky (is it your first time?), my advice to you is this: If it feels good, write it, even if it seems a little weird. Don't worry about what other people will think about it, and don't get too graphic if it makes you uncomfortable. But most of all, just have fun with it!

**picky and paranoid:** I...uh...also left my lights on for Earth hour (whoops!) Not because I hate the planet or anything, I just plain forgot. Still, the prime minister should serve as a role model for his people, and I'm sure his house has more lights than mine. Glad you liked the last chapter, hope you enjoy this one even more.

**el-retardo69: **I hope this chapter came soon enough for you. And it's nice to hear from you again too.

**kateg123: **I dunno if this _fixes_ the cliffhanger, or just makes it more cliffhanger-y, guess you'll have to read it to find out! I personally love cliffhangers, even in other people's stories. without cliffhangers, I wouldn't read anything at all!

**Ne'ith5: **Better than the X-Men? Now THERE'S a compliment! Sci-fi does seem to be fairly formulaeic, doesn't it? But these days, authors are just taking the blueprints of a story that's been done before,and filling in the blanks. It's what you DO with the blanks that makes your story fresh and unique. I'm glad you see mine as something worth reading.

**dutch1: **I caught your review just in time to reply here! Lucky, huh? All twenty chapters in one go? You must be hooked! I hope you check back later today, so you can catch twenty-one, and tell me what you think.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Torchwood. But I will. You mark my words! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Wha-what are you doing? No! Unhand me I say! I'll get you for this! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

**WARNING: **Violence, supernatural themes, blah blah blah. And groping. Lots of groping. Also, slight voyeurism.

**Mortok Recommends: **Anything by **kateg123**, I haven't read all of her stuff, but if you want a good laugh, or are a fan of JackxGwen, go there.

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for...

**TWENTY-ONE: NOW WHAT? **

Alex sidestepped as Nina struck with serpentine fluidity. He sent a few pieces of debris flying in her direction, only for them to suddenly curve to the side and orbit around her before shooting back at him. He sent the first spiralling off course with a kick; the second struck him in the stomach. His hand went to his side as pain lanced through his body. Already, the wound had healed, but blood had seeped through his shirt, and a dark stain was spreading on his coat.

"Somebody's losing their touch." Nina mocked as a long sliver of window glass flew at his face. Alex caught it between both hands. The tip of the shard was just touching the tip of his nose. It tickled and he fought the urge to sneeze. He made the glass grew warm and pliable, cupped his hands around it, and opened them to reveal fine powder that he hurled in Nina's face, temporarily blinding her. He leapt on her, seizing his chance to land several blows to her face and stomach.

She went to the ground, face first, only to roll over and scythe his legs out from under him with a sweeping kick. He landed on his hands and sprung back onto his feet, only to be sent flying once more by a powerful kick in the chest. He turned in mid air, landing on his hands and feet like a cat. He scooped a hubcap off the ground and turned, standing as he did so, and flung the hubcap like a Frisbee, all in one fluid movement. She grabbed it out of mid air and ran a hand over it briefly before hurling it back. Alex leaned to the side as the newly razor-edged disc zoomed past, millimetres from his check, embedding itself in the concrete wall of a warehouse some distance behind him.

Alex decided to forgo a physical blow and lashed out with his mind, only to have the invisible arc of his power curve back suddenly and hit him full on, sending him sprawling to the ground. Looking up from where he lay on his back, he saw Nina leaning over him. Where did she learn _that_?

"I must say, I like you like this, flat on your back. " She smiled beatifically, as if they were two friends talking shop, instead of bitter rivals locked in a duel to the death. "It suits you."

"So I've been told." Alex quipped as he brought both legs into the air, locking his ankles behind her neck. He brought them down again and Nina came with them, he sat up and grinned down at the dazed look on her face. "Nope, that look just doesn't work for you." Her eyes refocused and she snarled animally as she leapt back onto her feet. The limbs of both combatants became blurs as they raced to land the first blow, while blocking their opponent's. Alex brought up his 'wall' of energy, and pushed it forward, forcing Nina backwards, all the way across the clearing, until she was slammed against another wall that was physically real.

"Hey, it worked!" He exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement.

"Cute trick" She sounded flippant, but looked furious. "Let me show you one of mine."

Suddenly, waves of energy rolled off of Nina, crackling and popping as they rushed towards him, making the air glow, as though they had somehow managed to polish the wind to a high sheen. He stumbled as each burst coursed through him. It didn't hurt, but the sensation was overwhelming. It was like burning and freezing all at once. It was like electricity in his blood. He could taste the raw power on his tongue. It welled up inside him, caressing him erotically from within. Now he understood. Who wouldn't sacrifice their sanity for this? It was better than sex, and, for Alex, that was definitely saying something.

If this was how Nina felt all the time, no wonder she saw herself as a god. And to think, the worst she had done until now was kill people! Death would be nothing, compared to being given all this power, only to have it ripped away.

He did not see Nina's triumphant smile, or her final strike. He didn't hear the cry of his name. There was simply a flash of white before reality melted into the black chasm of oblivion.

* * *

Ianto thundered down the pavement, bumping his shoulder as he misjudged turns, due to his speed and panic. Ahead of him, Jack's coat flapped from side to side. Behind him, the sprinting of the others seemed to pale in comparison to the speed of his own pulse. How had they been so stupid, letting themselves be fooled by a teenager, for fuck's sake! He could blame his desire for his clouded judgement, and Jack had been dead at the time, but the others had no excuse, no excuse at all.

He berated himself for thinking with his cock. He had been trying to keep Alex safe, that was true, but it hadn't been for any noble reason. He just wanted to feel the young body under him again. He sped up as he reminded himself that his selfish desire to protect the young man might well lead to his death.

Ianto swerved sharply as Jack skidded to a halt. Alex was in sight, and there was Nina, they weren't too late!

"Alex!" His voice felt unfamiliar in his throat. He wasn't used to this…whatever it was. Why wasn't he looking this way? He called again "A-" the breath was knocked from him as Jack tackled him to the ground.

"Ianto!" Jack bellowed in his ear, but he barely heard him over the blood rushing in his ears. "Don't go near him!" It was then that Ianto noticed. The air around Alex and Nina was deathly still, and seemed to shine glassily. WHat was left of the SUV was suspended in mid-air, gliding around them like some sort of dance.

"What's going on?" Toshiko asked, coming up behind them.

"I have no idea." Jack's tone of voice was worrying. Ianto knew that the man just wasn't happy unless he had a mystery to solve. "But it looks _really_ cool."

"Is it dangerous?" Gwen's arrival was heralded by her voice, and the soft squeak of her sneakers.

"Probably," Jack admitted "but it's still cool."

"So what do we do?" Owen demanded "I'm not going near…whatever it is."

Ianto stared at Alex through the barrier. His eyes were glassy and unseeing. His long hair was floating around his face, as though ruffled by alight breeze. His face was expressionless, he wasn't even breathing. Alex was, quite literally, dead on his feet. Nina's face was the exact same, except for the malevolent smirk of triumph. Never in his life had Ianto wanted so much to hit a woman. Gwen was a close second, but even tampering with the coffee machine couldn't compare to… whatever it was Nina had done.

Ianto reached out tentatively until his hands met resistance. He traced the invisible barrier with his fingertips, trailing golden sparks. He pushed a bit harder before pulling away, and the barrier sprang back into place with a 'wobbling' noise, like shaking a piece of cardboard.

"Any volunteers?" Jack asked, looking around at them "No? Alright then." He shucked his coat and handed it over to Ianto, and then untied his shoes. The others stared at him.

"Uh, Jack?" Gwen interrupted "Is it really necessary to be naked?"

"Why do you always assume I'm stripping?" Jack asked, trying to sound offended. "I just don't want to get my coat wrecked. And they don't make those shoes anymore."

"Well, to be fair, sir." Ianto surprised himself by coming to Gwen's defence "Most days, when I come into the Hub, you're still naked."

"So?"

"So, usually, you're coming down from your office to do an early morning check of the rift monitor program."

"Oh, well, those arguments _aside_, I am not taking off my clothes with the intention of molesting catatonic teenagers. Although, now I think of it…"

"Jack." Toshiko glared at him warningly.

"Alright, _alright_, I was _kidding_." With that, Jack stepped forward, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt as he went. Just before he stepped through the barrier, Ianto thought he heard him mumbling "Women, honestly. Is there some sort of female hormone that makes them unable to take a joke? I sw-" The barrier wobbled back into place, and Jack's voice was lost.

* * *

Jack turned and waved at the rest of the team as they crowded together at the edge of the barrier, watching him intently. Gwen waved back. Ianto's mouth moved, but no sound came out.

"I can't hear you!" He said.

* * *

"What did he say?" Owen asked.

"If you can't hear him, what makes you think I can?" Ianto asked, irritated. He cupped his hands around his mouth and tried again, yelling this time.

"Jack, we need the key to the collar, can you see if Alex has it?"

* * *

Apparently, they couldn't hear him, either. He walked back to the edge and poked his head through the barrier.

"You were saying?" He asked grinning as Gwen leapt back with a squeal. Of all his reasons for hiring her, the fact that she was fun to scare was right at the top of the list. Ianto merely rolled his eyes, but in an _incredibly_ sexy way.

"We need the key to the collar, or else it won't stay on. Can you see if it's in one of Alex's pockets?"

Jack nodded and moved back, into the sound absorbing barrier. He sauntered over to Alex, and gave the boy a wink, even though he knew from his glazed over expression that there was no way he could see it.

"Fancy meeting you here." Jack moved around behind him, slipping his hands into the back pockets of Alex's jeans "I really shouldn't do this," Jack said, copping a feel of Alex's butt even as he spoke "but when am I ever gonna get a chance like this again?" He felt around for longer than was probably strictly necessary, before moving to the front pockets.

"Nice." Jack nodded approvingly "But still no key. Maybe I should take another look, just to be sure…"

* * *

"Oy!" Owen yelled, trying to bang on the barrier, only to have his hand pass straight through it "Get a move on, you pervert!"

"He can't hear you." Toshiko reminded him.

"Does he honestly think we can't see what he's doing?" Gwen sounded indignant.

"I don't think he cares." Ianto said absentmindedly, intent on watching the scene. _Mostly_ because it was a life or death situation, but also because one, very hot person was groping another, very hot person. After what seemed like an age, Jack finally moved to the coat pockets.

* * *

"Aha!" Jack grinned as his fingers closed over cool, metal object in Alex's left coat pocket, and withdrew the small, silvery key. He walked back to the barrier, holding it up for the others to see. As he stepped beck through, the air around him wobbled like a gelatinous dessert, and sound came rushing back. He had been expecting cheers and applause. What he _got_ was accusations and a clip on the ear from Gwen.

"Yeah, yeah, I won't do it again." He muttered "Now give me the collar and I'll go snap it on Nina while she's still unconscious…or whatever it is they're doing." Ianto handed it over and Jack was just turning to leave when Toshiko grabbed his elbow.

"Wait!"

"What?" Jack asked.

"This _thing_," Toshiko waved in Alex's direction "whatever it is, is probably Nina's doing."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, if we put the collar on her _now_, they might _both_ be stuck like that forever!"

"We could put them in the Hub." Owen suggested, a poor attempt at trying to lighten the mood "I always said the place could use more colour." Nobody laughed.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see." Jack shrugged.

"We could be here for _days_." Gwen sighed, sitting cross legged on the pavement. "No car, no blankets, what'll we do for food?" They all looked at Ianto; waiting for him to pull a tent and marshmallows out of his pants. He stared back, nonplussed.

"I think I have some tic-tacs."

TBC...

And that concludes this chapter. What _has_ happened to Nina and Alex? _Why_ is Jack such a pervert? What _flavour_ of tic-tacs?? All these questions and more will perhaps (although probably not) be answered in the next chapter, which I have yet to even THINK about writing.

Ciao for now! Don't forget to review!


	22. More Than A Little Weird

A/N: Two chapters in one day! And, finally, the second last chapter! I'm going to wait a bit before I write the "wrap-up" chapter, so that everyone has a chance to tell me what they think of this one. If it seems a little anticlimactic, I apologize. Just remember that Alex's adventures with Torchwood are far from over. It'll be a while before I can start the sequel though. I have assignments to catch up on.

**Tomkat: **Glad you liked it, hope you get time to read this one today as well.

**bbmcowgirl: **Will he? Won't he? That's a good question, and again, something that's going to carry over to the sequel. I'm glad you had fun reading it. I think a good story requires hefty doses of drama and comedy. Technically, this one should be serious as well, but I tried not to overdo it.

**DISCLAIMER: **Blah blah blah, Torchwood not mine.

**WARNING: **Take a look at the chapter title. See that? Yeah, that just about covers it.

**Mortok Recommends: **'Headache', the sequel to 'Headcase', coming soon to a fan fiction archive near you! I can't give too much away, but it's gonna be awesome (I hope).

Enjoy the penultimate chapter!

**TWENTY-TWO: MORE THAN A LITTLE WEIRD **

Alex opened his eyes to see Nina peering down at him again.

"You didn't kill me." He mumbled, pleasantly surprised.

"Of course not," Nina smiled down at him "I plan to have a lot more fun with you yet."

Alex was standing now. Though how he had managed it was a mystery. He looked around. Darkness, emptiness. He followed Nina as she turned away. His footsteps echoed in the nothing. Nina turned on her heel to face him, and suddenly, the void was filled with a rush of colour. He looked around.

"Bubbles?" He stared at his reflection in a large yellow one that floated past. The entire space was filled with them: yellow, red, blue, green, every colour fighting for dominance amongst the rest. "Where the hell are we?" He asked. Nina might be a murderous psycho, but who else could he ask?

"Inside you," She said. Alex pulled a face. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I mean inside your _mind_." Alex looked around.

"This is my brain?" He asked, disbelieving "No wonder I'm gay."

"Don't be a fool." Nina scowled "This is just an image you created to protect yourself. If you saw what your mind _really_ looked like, you'd go instantly insane and scream until you died." She reached out and poked the yellow bubble floating between them with a long fingernail. After second's resistance, it winked out of existence. "Pop!" She giggled.

"What was that?"

"A memory." Nina said "All the yellow ones are memories."

"You just destroyed one of my memories?" Alex clenched his fists. If what she was saying was true, she had broken the strongest taboo by entering his mind, violated him in the worst possible way. And now she was tampering with it? Who the hell did she think she was?

"Calm down, drama queen," Nina sneered "so you lost a millisecond of your life, big deal. It wasn't even an important memory, just one of those old, subconscious ones."

"What was in it?" Alex demanded. Nina shrugged.

"I dunno, some woman. Could've been your mother, could've been a nurse, it could've been a hooker, who cares?"

"I do!" Alex yelled "It's _my _brain!"

"Well, you're in charge here." Nina said, popping another yellow bubble "why don't you just kick me out?" She popped another. "Better hurry," she advised "you only have so many memories, and when I finish with them, I'll move onto actual knowledge, then emotions. Soon, you'll be a shell of a human being, drooling, incoherent, incontinent, and just generally gross."

As she said this, her face, and voice was one of childlike, innocent joy. The image, mingled with the words, made his stomach turn.

"I'm waiting." She said, turning to look at him as she popped another bubble. "You can't do it, can you? Of course you can't. You don't even know how I brought you here. You were too lost in the feeling of it." She laughed and popped another "That's the problem with you Alex, you feel too much." She turned as another yellow bubble, much larger than the others, floated by "Ooh, learning to tie your shoes!" She burst it gleefully.

"Hey!"

"Relax, you still know _how_ to do it, you just won't remember who taught you." She looked at another bubble briefly "Hmm, blowing out candles at your second birthday. You were a cute kid." She popped it.

"Okay, that's it!" Alex grabbed her hand just as she moved towards another "Get the fuck outta my head before you make me even crazier than you!"

"Uh, uh, uh, you're gonna have to do better than that." With a wave of Nina's hand, the bubbles disappeared. The surface underneath them became grey stone, and the sky flashed with lightening overhead. "I'm in control, here, Alex" she snarled; suddenly back to her old ferocious self. She threw him to the ground, pinning him there with her ferocious gaze. "I can delete your memories, or bring them back at will. How would you like to relive the day Sam left, over and over and over again?"

"You can't." Alex's voice quavered and he hated himself for it.

"Can't I? We're in your head Alex. Here, you're only human. And I, _I_ am your worst nightmare."

That conceited, arrogant statement broke the spell. He felt the rush of power coming from her and, once again, couldn't help but drink it in. He knew, at that moment, that her power could be his, if he would just reach out and grab it. She had opened the door, just a crack, when she had tried to kill him. And now, foolishly, she had broken it down. And a door, once opened, could be entered both ways. He reached out tentatively with his mind, and wrapped it around the invisible rope that connected them, pulling it into himself

"You're not my worst nightmare." He mumbled. She stared down at him, as if surprised he was speaking.

"Excuse me?"

"I said," he stood up "that you are _not_ my worst nightmare." The power unravelled from Nina, twisting and coiling around him, like a serpent, waiting to strike. At his silent command, a blaze of white light cut through the darkness, spreading and expanding until Nina's arena had been completely erased., and in it's place…

"Where are we?" She asked, alarmed, but not afraid. Did she still think she could beat him? He doubted it. She was powerless now, and on top of that, he knew a power greater than both of them, and how to use it to his advantage.

"My worst nightmare," Alex said, striding towards her. And, I'm willing to bet, yours as well." He smirked as she turned from side to side, eyes wide with recognition, and, with the recognition, fear. They were in a steel corridor. Steel walls, steel floor, white lights…

"The Institute." She breathed, whispering the name as reverently as one might whisper the true name of God, the way Alex would whisper someone's name in the throes of passion. Alex laughed, his voice, to his own ears, was harsh and grating.

"Correct, Nina, the Institute. Your master, just as it was mine, not all that long ago." He laughed again "But I'm free now. And however much you pretend to be otherwise, you're still trapped." Bars fell from the roof, striking the ground with a harsh, echoing, thundering noise. He was on one side, Nina was on the other. The rope had broken, and he had most of it. He turned and walked away; letting the scene, and Nina's screams, dissolve into nothingness around him.

* * *

His eyes snapped open as the SUV door, crashed to the ground, inches away. The area was littered with car parts, even more so than it had been. Across from him was Nina. He could still feel the gentle weight of the invisible serpent, coiled around his shoulders. The look on her face was one of anguish and horror. To have such power taken away from her was a fate worse than death, and that was exactly what he had done, torn it from her. And, he was slightly scared to find, it had been easy. Not physically easy, but he didn't feel even the slightest twinge of guilt anymore.

A pained scream tore from her throat. She rushed at him. He extended his arm, and, with blinding speed, the serpent struck. She fell to the ground sobbing. Her all over her face, hands searching and groping all over her body, searching for the warmth that no longer existed. She was pathetic, weak, she was _human_.

A battle cry rent the air, and Ianto and the others tackled Nina, restraining her easily. A snap, a click, and then they were off her, and there was a glint of metal about her neck. Alex was paying her no attention. He stared. He rubbed his eyes. He stared again.

"Do I have something on my face?" Jack asked, raising a hand to his chin, to scrub whatever it was off. Alex's mouth opened and closed wordlessly. He reached out to grab Alex's shoulder. "Are you oka- OW!" Jack yelped as Alex snatched his hand and twisted his wrist sharply. "What are you doing? Let go! Let go!" Alex dropped Jack's arm as though it had shocked him. He grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry," he stammered, blushing "I thought you were…dead."

"I was," Jack rubbed his abused wrist "I got better." Alex looked he was about to ask a question, but Jack beat him to it "What happened with you and Nina? What was that whole, sparkly golden, silence-bubble thing?"

"I don't know," Alex said "and I don't wanna know."

"Hate to break up the tearful reunion, ladies," Owen called from where he and the others were still restraining the flailing Nina "But what do we do about this one?"

"Leave her," Alex shrugged "she can't do any more damage."

As one, they released her and she fell to her knees, bedraggled and filthy, finally looking as crazy as she was.

"Nina," Alex walked over to her. She looked up at him, so full of fear she couldn't move. Her lips trembled. "You're really fucked up," he said "and that's partly my fault. I'm sorry." He turned away.

An inhuman shriek rent the air, and suddenly, her weight was bearing him to the ground and her dirty hands were around his neck. There was a brief struggle, then, a gunshot, and she fell away from him, onto the ground. There was a circle of sticky wetness on her suit. She didn't move. Alex looked away from her, to Ianto, the still smoking gun held tight in his white-knuckled grip.

Jack broke the silence with a clap of his hands.

"Okay kids, no time to waste, we need to clean this mess up before mom and dad get home."

TBC

A/N: See what I mean by anticlimactic? At least Nina's finally dead, I knew a few of you were waiting for that. Any lingering mysteries (I made sure there were a few) will carry over to the sequel, the next chapter is just gonna be fluffy and annoyingly cute. But it's how the story was always going to end, so, not much I can do about it now.

Don't forget, reviews are the only thing that keep me writing! At this point, I have no other motivation.

See you in the FINAL CHAPTER!!


	23. Technically An Epilogue

A/N: Well, I got tired of waiting and decided to go ahead and post this anyway. Sorry it's so short, but nothing of much interest happens in this anyway. In other news, my family is moving back to Canberra. I'm not sure when, but some time around June/July. My mum decided she hates her job, and since we only moved to Melbourne FOR her job in the first place, there's really nopoint in staying, is there? I'm psyched to go back to Canberra, but less excited that we already sold our house, as well as a tad pissed off because of all the money and time I wasted on TAFE. I tell you this stuff because it may affect how quickly the sequels get written, but rest assured, they WILL get written. This only my second chapter story in my LIFE that I've ever even finished, and I plan to get more under my belt.

**Amelia McDermid: **As a writer, I actually quite liked Nina. Because she was insane, I didn't have to worry about staying true to character, personality wise, and because I made her so Sue-ishly powerful, I was able to have her do things that, even in the Torchwood universe, are pretty far-fetched. And just because she's dead, doesn't mean she's gone...

**Rai Guyver: **I _did_ notice, and am very happy for you (and me, of course, since I wrote it). The tic-tacs line is very popular. It didn't seem that funny at the time, it's just one of those story conventions, in this day and age, that when a group of peopleare stuck somewhere without food, one of them has tic-tacs.

**bbmcowgirl:** The consequences of Nina's death, while not a major plot point in the sequel, _will_ influence Alex's character development. I don't wanna give to much away, but as you may have guessed, we haven't quite seen the last of her! To answer your other question, sex will not feature a lot in the sequel, and I still don't plan to get too graphic, it'll just be before/after the fact, I'm afraid. But yes, since writing my first sex scene, I have been planning a threesome for the boys. Just have to muse over how it'll play out...

**vixengreen: **Here it is. What is it with fan-fictioneers and cookies? "Review and get a cookie", "Update and get a cookie". Are these cookies real, or are they some sort of digital and/or spiritual cookie? I'm going crazy trying to figure this out.

**kateg123: **You HAVEN'T put me on author alert? I'm shocked! Seriously, though, don't feel you have to. I have yet to put ANYONE on author alert. I prefer to do it old school and check manually. I'm old fashioned that way. I'm glad you think I have imagination and a sense of humour. To me, those are the two important factors in a story. And since you went to so much trouble to reference your favourite parts from my story, I thought I'd go ahead and put down my favourite part from one of yours. (I don't read JackxGwen, or Harry Potter stuff, so I chose this from your CSI fanfic, "Body Language")

"I am a cupboard sucking gayboy!" Best. Line. EVER. When you take it out of context, it's even more hilarious. Every time I read it, I crack up.

**Kazz the 13th: **Film critcs, pfft, what do they know? Saying a role doesn't suit an actor is like saying a topping doesn't suit a pizza! I mean, sure, I don't LIKE pineapple, but I'm not gonna complain if people cast it in a film...uh...you know what I mean. Glad to see you liked the last couple of chapters (I think 21 is my best opening line ever). I hope you like the ending, even if you don't like the fact that it IS the end.

**dutch1: **Thank you, thank you and thank you. I hope the conclusion meets your expectations.

**el-retardo69: **I'm really glad you liked this, I wasn't sure about showing it to people I actually KNOW, so that was a huge relief. Let's hope that the upcoming sequel will get you in even more trouble in class. Oh, and, thanks for giving me a title for the sequel, even though, from what I remember, it was an accident.

**picky and paranoid: **Don't feel you have to keepcoming up with fun facts to amuse me (although this latest one did make me laugh). To be honest, I, myself, am out of gimmicks. No facts, no recommendations, no funny disclaimers. I hope the quality of the writing is enough to keep you reading.

**Fairy-Tales123: **Don't worry, this story is more of a beginning than an ending. And my ideas for the sequel already suggest that it will be quite a bit longer as for the man on man on man action, well, I promise that it will at least by IMPLIED, if not made totally obvious. Alex is a raging slut (as evidenced by this chapter), I have no control over him!

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Torchwood. If I did, I would've known about all the second season stuff, and wouldn't have even bothered to give this a timeline. As it stands, I am dreading the last episode, and kicking myself for spoiling it for myself (if that makes any sense).

**WARNING: **Explicit references to oral sex. The word 'blowjob' is used...just a sec...only twice? That's not so bad. If there's anything else naughty in here, I dunno what it is. I have a fairly skewed moral compass.

**TWENTY THREE: TECHNICALLY AN EPILOGUE**

Alex walked into Jack's office and turned to shut the door, but thought better of it, just in case he needed a quick escape route. The invisible weight of Nina was gone now, replaced by a dull, throbbing ache in his chest. He tried not to think about her dead body in the morgue below the building. That was where it had rested for the last three days, and where it would stay until the end of time. Alex had wanted to roll her into the bay, weighted down by car parts, but the others had reasoned that they couldn't risk anyone finding her.

Jack was pacing back and forth, oblivious of the young man in the doorway.

"So," Alex said, snapping the older man out of his reverie "you're immortal."

"Does that bother you?" Jack asked. His eyes roved up and down Alex's body, but in a detached way, as if he were examining a horse he planned to buy.

"Not really," Alex shrugged "I feel a bit sorry for you, though."

"Why?"

"Well, don't you get really bored sometimes?" Alex asked "Having to continue to existence, following the same old routine, without even the option of suicide?"

"I guess."

"And if you can't die, how can you even call it living?" Alex asked "To live, implies that you will die. _You_ just exist." He paused "Have you tried decapitation?"

"I didn't call you up here to get all morbid on me."

"Why did you ask me up here?" Alex asked, feeling more than a little nervous. Jack turned to him.

"Catch." Jack tossed an object in his direction. Alex had to lean slightly to the left to snatch it as it sailed through the air. He turned it in his hands.

"What is it?" Alex asked. Rather than offer a spoken answer, Jack presented his profile and pointed to a similar device on the side of his face. "That doesn't quite answer my question."

"Think of it as a "welcome to the team" gift." Jack smiled.

"A welcome to the- wait, what?"

"Don't get all excited and fan-girly," Jack warned, steamrolling right over Alex's confused babbling. "You'll be restricted to desk work, and cleaning, for a couple of years at least. I'm not too clear on the law here, what with being above it and all. But, even with your…abilities, I'd rather not have you out in the field for a while."

"Wait," Alex waved his hands to get Jack's attention "you can't be serious!"

"About not letting you out in the field?" Jack asked, confused. "Of course I am."

"About letting me in the _team_," Alex insisted "you can't possibly think I'd be suitable for the job."

"Why not?" Jack asked "We can't jail you, we can't retcon you. This seems like the perfect solution."

"But I'm all wrong!" Alex exclaimed, still bewildered. "You can't possibly want me!"

"You're repeating yourself." Jack smirked "What's wrong? Why shouldn't you work with us?"

"Where should I start?" Alex asked "I've spent most of my life in what can only be described as a 'human zoo', I lie, I cheat, I steal, I sleep around. In fact, if it weren't for my healing factor, I'd probably be riddled with communicable diseases. Should I keep going?"

"Please." Jack motioned for Alex to continue, highly amused by the ranting.

"Well," Alex racked his brain, was there a specific thing Jack wanted him to say? "I'm on the run from who knows how many people, I've been paid for sex, I have serious parental issues and I really, _really_ hate Owen." He took a deep breath "Oh, yeah, and I got you killed. _Twice_!" He paused. "Although I don't feel as bad about that anymore. Do you still think I'm suitable for the job?" Alex crossed his arms, waiting for Jack to push him out of the office and slam the door.

Jack's response was a soft chuckle.

"Alex," he laughed, "I think you're going to fit right in."

Alex spared one last glance at Jack before turning away. He looked down at the seemingly innocuous device in his hand. He thought back to when he had first encountered Torchwood and Jack's flirtatious comments in the darkness of the cells. Oh, what the hell? The man had earned it, after all.

* * *

Jack watched as the speechless teenager turned to leave, he was halfway through the door before he turned back, a wicked grin on his face.

"Before I forget," Alex asked, as innocently as if he had been commenting on the weather "have you seen a blowjob anywhere?"

"A what?" Jack asked, sure he had misheard.

"A blowjob." Alex repeated "You see, I already gave Ianto one and I had a spare just lying around, collecting dust, so I thought if you still wanted it, I could give it to you…" Alex shrugged and sighed "but it seems to have disappeared. I can't think where it's got to."

"I'll keep an eye open," Jack smirked, unable to tear his eyes away from Alex's lips. Were they as soft as they looked? "I'm sure it's lying around here somewhere."

"I'll be back later to take a look around," Alex said "_if_ you don't mind, that is."

"Why would I mind?" Jack asked. Alex's smile widened as he turned away.

* * *

Alex skipped down the stairs, two at a time, coming face to face with Ianto at the bottom.

"Check it out." He waved the earpiece "You are now looking at your new secretary and janitor."

"I've been replaced?" Ianto asked, mock horrified.

"Relax" Toshiko told Ianto, giving Alex a congratulatory pat as she passed by "You still make the best coffee, and you've been saying you wanted to do more fieldwork."

"Congratulations!" Owen called from the medical bay "You're now the resident vapid blonde of Torchwood Three."

"Cram it, frog-lips!" Alex snapped back.

"How about a cup of coffee?" Ianto asked trying to change the topic before another argument was sparked.

"No thanks." Alex made a face "Can't stand the stuff, never drink it." A deathly silence descended on them. Alex looked around at the stricken faces, feeling very awkward "What did I say?" He was saved from the awkward situation by a cheerful boom from above.

"Alex, you'll never guess what I just found!"

"Coming!" Alex yelled back, turning and racing back upstairs, glad to escape the awkward situation. Halfway up, he fell flat on his face, hitting his forehead on a higher step with a tooth-rattling bump. He looked down at his feet. One of his shoelaces had come undone. He raced to tie it, letting out an inaudible sigh of relief as he pulled the last knot tight, before scrambling up the rest of the stairs and slamming the office door shut.

"What do you suppose they're doing up there?" Gwen asked, after a while.

"What do you think?" Owen asked in a condescending tone "They're not playing monopoly." He turned to Ianto "aren't you upset?"

"Should I be?" Ianto asked "He doesn't _have_ to like coffee."

"Your boyfriend is up there, bangin' your _other_ boyfriend!" Owen pointed to Jack's office "If I were you, I'd be upset." He coughed. "Not that I've ever even _had_ a boyfriend." He turned back to Ianto "What are you going to do, draw up a timetable?"

"Actually," Ianto paused "that might not be such a bad idea."

_FIN_

A/N: And there you have it. The final chapter of 'Headcase'. Well, it was fun, and I anticipate having even MORE fun writing the sequel. Now that this story's over, I won't be replying to any revies you post on this chapter (just in case that influences your decision to post one) but I will most definitly be reading them, and no doubt smiling like a loon over each and every one. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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